it's the revival of the corrupt wish game (II)

[Mr. Harley]

You fall info a short-term coma, and wake up next Monday. The rare condition causing this is not covered by your medical insurance, and you are stuck at the same desk for the next ten years.

I wish that sitting here typing burned as many calories as working out on my exercise bike.

[Q Classic]

it does. since working out on your exercize bike means "looking at it and then deciding, eh, **** it", you still burn no calories.

i wish that i had a bowl of cinnamon applesauce.

[Mr. Harley]

It is sooo good. It's fabulously delicious. In fact, you decide you like it better than sex, and end up celibate for the rest of your like.

I wish I knew what in blazes the "furries" people keep referencing are.

[Q Classic]

no, you don't.

Spoiler:

http://apolyton.net/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=100189

Spoiler:

http://apolyton.net/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=101956

Spoiler:

http://apolyton.net/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=102649

unfortunately, you do. you become one.

i wish furries and their ilk didn't exist.

[Shadowstrike]

Granted. Just before all Furries are captured and made into fur coats, you are transfigured into a furry. Your hide is used to make a particularly pricey chair, which is burnt by anti-fur protestors.

I wish for a modern computer.

[Shogun Gunner]

Granted. You also get a modern operating system. Too bad it's from Microsoft and your hardware is incompatible until you download enough patches to make it work - by which time your computer is no longer modern.

I wish for self-cleaning carpet in my house.

[Mr. Harley]

You have a self-cleaning carpet. Next time you walk in with dirty feet, it eats you. Belch.

I wish I had never linked to Q-Cubed's spoilers.

[self biased]

granted. you instead learn about furries the hard way.

i wish i could use who i am as justification for anything i do the way johnny dep does in 'pirates of the carribean.' "but i'm captain jack sparrow, mate!" is way cool.

[Q Classic]

you do use it to justify anything. nobody buys it, however.

i wish i didn't have this cold.

[ICBM]

Granted. You now have a very severe strain of the flu.

I wish I could hide in a cave for the next couple weeks.

[Shogun Gunner]

Granted. You make a new friend, Osama Bin Laden.

I wish my body didn't need to breathe air to absorb oxygen into my blood.

[Enigma_Nova]

Granted! You've choked

I wish that the OT contained more Debates, and less Trolls & Flames.

[Shogun Gunner]

Granted. The OT contains more debates about trolls and flames

I wish humans didn't have to eat AND talk with the mouth.

[ICBM]

Granted. You now eat with your mouth and talk with your ass. Wait, most people do that already...

I wish eating seafood had no adverse effects.

[Space05us]

Granted, all the fishes die, no more seafood, no more adverse effects.

I wish my dog would quit laying at my feet and attracking them everytime I move.