it's the revival of the corrupt wish game (II)

[ICBM]

Granted. Every day is now Christmas, and the ACLU sues everyone to make it stop.

(May the ACLU just go have a Merry Christmas...)

I wish Portugal didn't declare war on me for no reason.

[self biased]

granted. portugal offers the fact that you used the salad fork at dinner, as opposed to the other one, as reason to declare war on you.

i wish i had another bottle of jack daniels.

[Mr. Harley]

You do. You forgot you emptied it weeks ago.

I wish all supervisors had to pass a test guaranteeing that they have at least a modicum of common sense before being promoted.

[self biased]

granted. unfortunately the cost of such a test is a modicum of common sense.

i wish lexi would show up on my doorstep bearing a full bottle of Jack Daniels tennessee whiskey.

[Mr. Harley]

She does. It's that time of month.

I wish I would realize when my posts are esoteric and muddy, so I'll stop stubbing my Tao.

[self biased]

granted. the falling lotus blossom reveals the secret knowledge of crickets and inner peace.

i wish i could get to use a very special smiley here (the one i plan on using after spending some quality time with lexi.).

[Mr. Harley]

You can. You edit your avatar to make an entirely appropriate "smiley." Urban Ranger notices, declares it obscene, and you are banned.

I wish crickets didn't drive me crazy.

[Shogun Gunner]

They don't. Now silence drives you crazy.

I wish that the weekends were four days, not two.

[ICBM]

Granted. But you don't get any holidays, and you have to work 18 hours a day.

I wish the CD drive I just put into my new computer wasn't so loud.

[Shogun Gunner]

Granted. It's not loud when you put it in, when you use it, the noise is deafening!

I wish all food was perfectly healthy, contained all the nutrition, and not too much of the bad stuff (fat, cholesterol , carbs).

[Bosh]

The lack of fat in your diet turns you into an emaciated waif.

I that my sinuses weren't full of anesthetic swab

[Mr. Harley]

The swab is gone. You now realize why the anesthetic swab was in there. Whatever they did, it makes them HURT.

I wish that human babies were as easy to potty train as it is to litter train kittens.

[Theben]

Your wish comes true. Now all humans need kitty litter to use instead of a toilet.

I wish we had 10 more managers for our company, and that they were all honest and competent.

[Kuciwalker]

Granted. You are not, so they fire you

I wish for Theben to get a name change to Flafnir.

[Mr. Harley]

He does, except he makes a mistake. It's Flufnir. He now a Fluffy in disguise.

I wish all Furries were Fluffies.