it's the revival of the corrupt wish game (II)

[ICBM]

Granted. But to fit the infinite staples, you must have an infinitely long stapler, which does not fit in the room, or even in the universe. Happy stapling.

I wish for world peace. (Don't I sound like one of those brainless beauty contest people?)

p.s. SG: if that happened, then Ming would make himself irritated by changing his own name to M*ng.

[-Jrabbit]

Granted. The resulting inevitable collapse of the military-industrial complex causes global economic collapse.

I wish my company would just put me in charge of all marketing communications functions so I wouldn't have to fix other people's idiotic mistakes.

[Mr. Harley]

There's nobody around to fix YOURS. You make a single major oops, and the resulting media feeding frenzy, coupled with a government investigation, cause your company to go bankrupt.

I wish spelling in English was phonetic.

[ICBM]

Granted. All speling in English iz now fonetik, but now nobody kan reed it or spel it.

I wish I could sleep.

[Mr. Harley]

You can. Unfortunately, you will not waken until a handsome prince passionately kisses you.

I wish that white chocolate chip - macedamia nut cookies had half the calories but tasted just as good.

[self biased]

granted. after eating the first one, your sexual orientation turns to "furry."

i wish that i didn't have to re-purchase cds. that i could just call up the RIAA and have a replacement sent to me should my original be damaged.

[Mr. Harley]

Absolutely. They don't mind at all, since they finally have imposed their hardware based royalty scheme. You pay them 10 cents every time you PLAY a song.

I wish my wife had nice, feline "furr" over her entire body (soft and silky) since self-biased changed my sexual orientation, thus letting me indulge both my deepest furry desires, and to keep eating those delicious half-the-calorie macadamia/white chocolate chip cookies.

[Enigma_Nova]

Granted. You De-furrify, lose interest in your wife, who promtly manages to kill you because of what she transformed into.

I wish this thread makes it to 400

[Theben]

Granted. The thread reaches 400 posts. Because of this, you die. Horribly.

I wish that people would stop dying when they make wishes.

[Shogun Gunner]

Granted, they live a long and tormented life instead.

I wish that all of my unfilfilled wishes were instantly granted to my satisfaction without corruption.

[Theben]

Granted, but you fail to realize all your previous wishes have been fulfilled. However this wish is realized to your satisfaction without corruption. As a result, you live a long and tormented life.

I wish that all super-secret ninjas came with remote controlled adapters.

[PLATO]

Granted, but you realize that you have no batteries for the remotes. The Ninja's turn on you and you are savagely wounded (was going to say killed but Shogun Gunner granted Theban's wish!)

I wish that I would find the winning lottery ticket in the parking lot of my favorite convienience store.

[ICBM]

Granted. But 10 million other people also find tickets in parking lots, and you only win $17. (Yes, I have seen the movie Bruce Almighty)

I wish the temperature in Florida would be 0 Fahrenheit just to teach those idiots down there a lesson.

[Drogue]

It is, however it is during the election, and the freak winds that coincide with the temperatures means that people cannot go outside to the polling stations to vote, and so another debacle ensues.

I wish ** ********** ***** ***** **** ** I could read what I just wrote.

[mrmitchell]

Granted, now you can read everything that is hidden, and you go insane once you realize what everyone is trying to hide.