The Corrupt wish game

[Urban Ranger]

You could. Unfortunately, you got rid of everything else in your mind at the same time. So you become a vegetable.

I wish I didn't need to eat to remain alive.

[Mr. Harley]

Do to lack of critical amino acids, you brain shuts down. You are now a vegetable.

I wish I could log onto Apolyton every night, read every post I'm interested in, and still get everything else done that I need to do.

[Skanky Burns]

Granted. Your definition of stuff that "needs to be done" soon only consists of Posting on Poly.

I wish my clothes washed themseves and my house cleaned itself too.

[Nubclear]

Granted. However your house soon deems you to be causing the mess, and throws you out.

I wish I was a truck and could run people over and blame the driver!

[self biased]

granted. however, you're the only one made, and you're a ford. you'll get recalled eventually.

i wish someone would shut my downstairs neighbors up. they're having noisy sex again.

[Theben]

Granted. However your neighbors invited some friends over for b/s/m, and gag your neighbors. But the friends are even louder and more disgusting.

I wish a beautiful woman (alive, my age, heterosexual, horny) would appear on my lap.

[Urban Ranger]

Granted, but she's not interested in you. Not the slightest bit. In fact, she's annoyed wrt to the fact that she's dragged from whatever activity she was enjoying to drop into your lap, and slaps you a few.

I wish I could invent feasible fusion power.

[Q Classic]

you do. it just so happens, though, that it's in a small little pill that you can plug into. great, right? it's portable, and requires only water.
unfortunately, one day when you wake up, you mistake it for your suppository, and it explodes, causing you a raging case of the painful runs, which happens to be rather permanent.

i wish we could have a 'poly thread that reaches over 1000 posts and 10000 views.

[LDiCesare]

You've got it, but it's a bug. You can't reach any other page on the web and keep posting a new answe"r to that thread and view it until you reach several thousands.

I wish I could teleport home instead of taking the train.

[Urban Ranger]

Granted. Unfortunately, the side-effect of the power causes you to lose interest in sex completely.

I wish I could shapechange into any other person, without any detrimental effect to myself.

[Q Classic]

congratulations!
unfortunately, your brain gets stuck and from now on you can only change into one other person.

who ends up being richard simmons.



i wish i had the brains of a thousand geniuses, the muscles of a thousand hercules, and the good looks of a thousand devilishly attractive handsom young men.

[mrmitchell]

i wish i had the brains of a thousand geniuses, the muscles of a thousand hercules, and the good looks of a thousand devilishly attractive handsom young men.

Granted. Suddenly, your house is filled with the brains and muscles of two thousand guys. Also your hard drive is now full of a thousand male pr0n stars.

I wish I had a billion dollars.

[Urban Ranger]

[Damn, too slow.]

You have a billion dollars, but you got arrested because that's drug money.

I wish for the cure for cancer.

[Q Classic]

congratulations! you have the cure for cancer. it only makes one person happy in all of your cities, however, and since you have no cities, it's utterly useless.

i wish sco would just vanish.

[chequita guevara]

Granted, but SCO's lawsuits are upheld in the courts, and now no one can use LINUX.

I wish I wasn't always so tired.