The Corrupt wish game

[Nubclear]

You can.
However unfortunately the mobs running all the casinos find out and promptly kill you.

I wish George Bush would *edited by the FBI*.

[Theben]

Granted. Now whenever Bush speaks his prose is edited by the FBI. No more southern people speaking Mexican, they actually speak Spanish!

I wish that this thread would be closed by a moderator in the next post.

[Nubclear]

Your wish is half-granted. I'm a moderator, but I can't close the thread

I wish Zylka would marry me

[Theben]

Originally posted by Comrade Tassadar
Your wish is half-granted. I'm a moderator, but I can't close the thread

HALF-granted!?! Talk about weak!

I wish Zylka would marry me

Well, YOUR wish is fully granted (hmpf). You 2 are married, and have many beatiful children. 14, to be exact. You go broke and stress ages you quickly, and you die of heart failure at 38. Zylka survives by selling all the kids into adoption and black market dealers.

I wish my next wish would be fully granted.

[Nubclear]

It is. Unfortunately, you didn't wish for anything for it to affect

I wish my postcount would increase by 30,000,000.

[Theben]

Poof(ta)! Your posts count is increased. Unfortunately the program can't accept such a high number, and re-sets your count to zero. You lose your custom avatar status.

For my NEXT (ahem) wish, I wish I was on a secluded island, only populated by 100 beautiful heterosexual women (and me), and it had enough food for all of us for 20 years, and they all want to have sex and party with me on a regular basis.

[Urban Ranger]

Granted. However, you are surrounded by an a forcefield that neither you nor they can cross.

I wish for a car that has anti-grav capabilities.

[Q Classic]

granted. it is, however, still experimental, and warps time as an unwanted side effect. you appear 68 million years in the past, and find that the battery's dead. you can't restart the car, and 5 years from now, paleontologists will dig up fragments of you and wonder how the hell you got there.

i wish the person replacing me at my job at the end of the year wasn't such a tool.

[Skanky Burns]

The person replacing you suddenly gains intelligence, so much so that everyone at your job celebrates the fact you are leaving and he is staying. You feel sad.

I wish for a huge fireworks display to be held in my honour. Well away from me - don't want to get hit by any of them.

[Drake Tungsten]

You aren't hit by the fireworks. Your house is, however...

I wish I could **** Parminder Nagra.

[Q Classic]

after years and years of begging, pleading, and praying to the higher powers, you are granted your wish. however, you're 80 and impotent, and she's not that much younger and postmenopausal.

(incidentally, i haven't seen her in any movie yet, but i have seen aishwarya rai (sp?) and i like her.)

i wish i could bend it like beckham.

[Drake Tungsten]

Actually, she'd be 84 then, as she's four years older than me...

[Drake Tungsten]

i wish i could bend it like beckham.

Granted. Unfortunately, your instant super-celebrity status in Japan causes you to be disowned by all your silly Korean relatives.

I wish I had golden balls.

[Sore Loser]

ZAP!! Your balls are now dragging you towards the floor.

I wish people would be nice to one another.

EDIT: That one had already been used. Instead, I wish I were a major pool player.

[Q Classic]

congratulations. unfortunately, you're approached by some disreputable people asking you to throw the biggest game of your career. after you refuse and win, they break every singly one of your fingers with your cue stick.

i wish that history as rewritten by one of my games of civilization could replace the real world.