US Becoming Weirder and Very Anachronistic

[Ben Kenobi]

There are as many takes on the bible as verses in it.

I respect this point of view, especially on matters such as these. I also respect your ideas, so I wanted to know what you had to say.

Thanks Lancer.

[JohnT]

This thread is hilarious, and it's quite obvious that a number of you are... well, not married.

The fact is most marriages work like this: the man makes the decisions that the woman allows him to think he's made.

It's that simple. You're not going to buy a house that your wife hates... nor a car, nor almost anything else. You're not going to have kids until she wants to have kids. When she makes a decision that will change your life, that's when the decision is made.

She'll trust you on a few things, especially career, but even then you'd better maintain good faith and effort.

For the most part successful families base their decisions sometimes on what makes Dad happy, sometimes on what makes Junior happy, but always on what makes Mom happy.

So that's the thing about control and power structures - listening to you kids, it seems that the "power ratio" between spouses in a marriage is either 100-0, 50-50, or 0-100.

I note that the study isn't weighted in regards to environmental and economic biases each region - for example, if males had the top salary 70% of the time in the Deep South, then that would silence a lot of yapping in this thread. The census site is down while I type this, so I cannot look this up unfortunately.

Frankly, I'm of the opinion that 'most any family organization can raise successful and happy children regardless of its structure - hetero, homo, patriarchial, matriarchial, extended, whatever. As long as there is love and joy in the family, that's all that is necessary.

[Imran Siddiqui]

if males had the top salary 70% of the time in the Deep South, then that would silence a lot of yapping in this thread. The census site is down while I type this, so I cannot look this up unfortunately.

I'd be very interested to see it too... since that was part of the point of I was making .

[Lancer]

Thanks Obiwan.

[Ben Kenobi]

JohnT:

obvious that a number of you are... well, not married.

Well, I've never claimed that my views are based on experience have I? Why would I ask the question if I already knew everything about the subject?

between spouses in a marriage is either 100-0, 50-50, or 0-100.

Doubtful.

You're not going to buy a house that your wife hates... nor a car, nor almost anything else. You're not going to have kids until she wants to have kids.

Where have I said that being the head involves making decisions without your wife? Most decisions are going to have to be talked over.

[Arrian]

I find the thread title amusing, for 2 reasons:

1) The US isn't "becoming wierder" as if attitudes such as these were new. The change is occurring in Canada (a good change, I think)

2) As IF St. Leo could possibly view the US as "wierder" than he already does. Definitely one of those Canadians whose identity is mostly about how different (read: better) Canada is from the US.

Having said that, and reserving the right to argue that poll data can be skewed depending on exactly how a question is phrased, I do find some of those numbers disturbing.

-Arrian, proud to be a New Englander

[FrustratedPoet]

Originally posted by Arrian
Definitely one of those Canadians whose identity is mostly about how different (read: better) Canada is from the US.

You spelt "aboot" wrong - try and adopt the superior Canadian spelling next time please.

[Kidlicious]

Re: Re: US Becoming Weirder and Very Anachronistic

Originally posted by DinoDoc
Earth. May I ask from what part of the Solar Sysytem you hail from?

We know where DD is from now.

[DinoDoc]

Originally posted by FrustratedPoet
You spelt "aboot" wrong - try and adopt the superior Canadian spelling next time please.

That's correct, eh.

[Kidlicious]

Originally posted by JohnT
This thread is hilarious, and it's quite obvious that a number of you are... well, not married.

The fact is most marriages work like this: the man makes the decisions that the woman allows him to think he's made.

It's that simple. You're not going to buy a house that your wife hates... nor a car, nor almost anything else. You're not going to have kids until she wants to have kids. When she makes a decision that will change your life, that's when the decision is made.

She'll trust you on a few things, especially career, but even then you'd better maintain good faith and effort.

For the most part successful families base their decisions sometimes on what makes Dad happy, sometimes on what makes Junior happy, but always on what makes Mom happy.

So that's the thing about control and power structures - listening to you kids, it seems that the "power ratio" between spouses in a marriage is either 100-0, 50-50, or 0-100.

I note that the study isn't weighted in regards to environmental and economic biases each region - for example, if males had the top salary 70% of the time in the Deep South, then that would silence a lot of yapping in this thread. The census site is down while I type this, so I cannot look this up unfortunately.

Frankly, I'm of the opinion that 'most any family organization can raise successful and happy children regardless of its structure - hetero, homo, patriarchial, matriarchial, extended, whatever. As long as there is love and joy in the family, that's all that is necessary.

The person who makes the money makes the decisions. If you've ever tried to sell anything door to door you know that. If you do sell door to door you have to sell to the person that brings home the bacon or you wont sell. The wife (usually the one who doesn't make the money) can't make the final decision.

[Shi Huangdi]

"There is no specific Biblical directive exhorting divisions between slaves and freedmen"

!!!

Ephesians 6:5-8:

Slaves, be obedient to those who are your earthly masters, with fear and trembling, in singleness of heart, as to Christ;
6 not in the way of eye-service, as men-pleasers, but as servants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart,
7 rendering service with a good will as to the Lord and not to men,
8 knowing that whatever good any one does, he will receive the same again from the Lord, whether he is a slave or free.
9 Masters, do the same to them, and forbear threatening, knowing that he who is both their Master and yours is in heaven, and that there is no partiality with him.

Also from Paul,

1Tim. 6:1-5

Let all who are under the yoke of slavery regard their masters as worthy of all honor, so that the name of God and the teaching may not be blasphemed. Those who have believing masters must not be disrespectful to them on the ground that they are members of the church; rather they must serve them all the more, since those who benefit by their service are believers and beloved. Teach and urge these duties. Whoever teaches otherwise and does not agree with the sound words of our Lord Jesus Christ and the teaching that is in accordance with godliness, is conceited, understanding nothing, and has a morbid craving for controversy and for disputes about words. From these come envy, dissension, slander, base suspicions, and wrangling among those who are depraved in mind and bereft of the truth, imagining that godliness is a means of gain.

Why adhere to Paul's directives about one institution then, marriage, but not to another, slavery?

[GePap]

Interesting Ned. as far as i know, women rarely marry men of inferior educational level 9so, women with BA's almost always marry men with BA's or above, not people with only High school diplomas. Now, whether educational level equals intelliegence, different thing.

*shudders* Go fight the good fight Shi.

[Dis]

I just get tired of people ripping on the south.

I have lived down there, and I have no complaints. The crime rates are so much better than they are where I live now.

The violence in my city is staggering.

[JohnT]

"If you've ever tried to sell anything door to door you know that. If you do sell door to door you have to sell to the person that brings home the bacon or you wont sell."

This pattern of behaviour is also consistent with marriages where both spouses believe the other also has the right to express an opinion. I did door-to-door selling* back when I was in college, and I'll agree: the sales were always easier (like I'd get 1 for 10 instead of 1-30) when both spouses were at home. However, it was always the woman that you sold to and her attentions were paramount: if she expressed no interest in the first minute or two, you never had a sale. Now I had a few call their husbands beforehand, but they usually relented: "Well, if you think we need them, and it will make you happy..."

"The person who makes the money makes the decisions... The wife (usually the one who doesn't make the money) can't make the final decision."

Well, in my marriage this isn't even true. Laura controls the household accounts, and manages them very well (I bet your checkbook doesn't get balanced daily! ), and while she doesn't "earn" a dime being a stay-at-home mother, she spends about 95% of all the money in the house w/o any input from me. The woman is a Godsend, no if, ands, or buts about it.

*Pots and pans and various kitchen items for some warehousing firm based in Florida. I made maybe $2,000 that summer.

[Arrian]

My parents divided it up like this:

My dad handles most of the investments (my mother would consult him on her 401(k) & IRA accounts, but ultimately make her own choices there), while my mother deals with day-to-day finances (read: bills).

My father hates bills, and would rather not see them. Plus, my mother is just incredibly thorough. So that works rather well for them.

My father, originally the main "bread winner" retired when I was 5 or 6, and was the stay-home parent from that time on. Though he always said it in a semi-joking tone, and my mother occasionally protested, he always said that it was my mom that ran the show. "She who must be obeyed."

As for purchases... well, my mom is partial to gadgets. My father's response to this is not to try and stop her, but rather to gently ridicule her about the uselessness of the gadget (and yeah, they're generally useless) once she's bought it.

-Arrian