I've been indicted on multiple charges!

[MattyBoy]

Nice post, Sikander.
I hope it all works out, Korn, but I also hope there are no 25 year olds like you around when my daughters turn 16. I'm hoping for them to have a great life and that does not include getting pregnant by the time they are 17.

It certainly sounds like you are paying double for your indiscretions.

[Sikander]

Originally posted by MattyBoy
Nice post, Sikander.
I hope it all works out, Korn, but I also hope there are no 25 year olds like you around when my daughters turn 16. I'm hoping for them to have a great life and that does not include getting pregnant by the time they are 17.

It certainly sounds like you are paying double for your indiscretions.

Thanks Maltheus er.. Matty.

[chequita guevara]

Sikander's post is spot on. If he hadn't made it, I would have. Korn, you got off light, cuz I would have beat you senseless if I found you with my underage daughter. Course, I would have put my foot down immediately. No way in hell would I let my daugher date a man eight years her senior.

You need to get some help if you think a child is your soul-mate.

[Dinner]

So have we found out how many little girls he's molested yet?

[korn469]

oerdin

lol none

AH

i wasn't going to say what it was till it was over, and now it for all intents and purposes is

If he hadn't made it, I would have. Korn, you got off light, cuz I would have beat you senseless if I found you with my underage daughter. Course, I would have put my foot down immediately. No way in hell would I let my daugher date a man eight years her senior

che

that reaction is understandable, but the one i encountered was far different than that. basically the four of us never really communicated at all. they knew we were more than just friends, i mean i know her family had seen us kiss before, yet nothing, besides hints and conflicting signals. the way things are now, parents can act any way they choose, let things slide, be neglectful, or just don't pry at all for years, then when they decide to start exerting their influence, they hold all of the legal assurances. parents can make mistakes, but the benefit of the doubt always goes with them in the current system. not that i didn't make my share of mistakes as well. maybe i should have been tarred and feathered, beat to a bloody pulp, or whatever; but all of the punishments i have experienced so far i've taken them, and i've tried to learn something from them. this has cost me a great deal of time, lots of money (relatively speaking of course), some freedom, a job, a relationship, lots of stress and remorse, and lots of self worth and pride. maybe it's not enough, nowhere even close, i'm not sure. all i ask is did the law protect the proper people? possibly, but i don't think it did.

i myself am a child born out of statutory rape. my mom was 16, and my father was 21 when my mom got pregnant with me. they married, and had two other children. although my mom had me when she was 17, and my father turned out to be a loser, with my parents eventually divorcing when i was about 14, my mom has had some success in life. also, considering the amount of divorce in the US i doubt their age was the cause of it. in fact i'd say it was their lack of communication, his emotional distance, and the fact he was content with being a nobody. the thing is, it seems like the divorce, even with their increased experience, my parents new relationships have been worse for the most part, not that they were good. my mom managed to get a master's degree, and very recently she landed a really good job. she may possibly go on and earn her PhD. my brother just landed an internship on capital hill, and all three of us will graduate college this year. maybe if my mom's parents had of arrested my dad before my mom was pregnant society would have been better. if somehow my soul could have been born to my mom later, maybe we wouldn't have grown up as poor, maybe things would have been vastly better, but i am actually quite satisfied with the way many of the hardships i experinced as a child helped mold me into who i am now. i'm not perfect, i'm not even close, nor will i ever be, but i am learning to love myself for who i am everyday. i do think i have things to offer, both to the individuals that are close to me, and society as a whole because of my upbringing. before this whole incident, about the worst type of trouble i had ever caused was truthfully speaking my mind, since my beliefs aren't exactly mainstream. i'm an athiestic, vegetarian, with a completely open mind, in a rural bible belt area of the US. most of the things i believe are different from the US norm, and especially from the norm around here.

i met a person, who is funny, fun to be around, easy going, and who puts me at ease. in the time we knew each other we talked constantly as friends, and once we started dating, not only did we talk everyday, we'd probably talk/spend at least 6 hours per day in some form (in person, email, or the phone) if not far longer. we shared our secrets, our problems, our hopes, our dreams, our successes and our failures, just everything we could. all told it i'm positive we spent thousands of hours on each other. maybe all of that is sick. i completely disagree though. age was never really an issue till this happened. since this has happened, i haven't got to see her, and we've communicated just a handful of times. after she called me the day after this happened i went two months without hearing from her at all. in that time i tried my best to bury my feelings for her, and put what we shared in the past, i simply couldn't. when i'm finally sentenced this all may be in the past, and we can move forward, but right now there are still legal issues because of the charges keeping us apart. without that it would now be completely legal for us to date, be friends, get engaged, basically almost anything except to get married, or to just run away. legally as long as we weren't out causing trouble, everything would be ok, despite any parental objections. however, since there is still a restraining order in force, and violating that would invalidate my bail, and send me back to jail, we still need to stay apart for now. in the future i truly think we'll give it another try, she'll be 18 before too long, and that will make things much more simple for us. we'll just have to see what the future holds. the simple fact is that birthdays don't magically grant people maturity. nor do parents always know exactly what is best. nor do laws always ensure that people get true justice. sometimes it is hard to know what is best for you, and sometimes people make mistakes, yet trying to codify all human behaviors into a simple set of rules, that carry severe consequences is a system set up for failure.

i'll finish this tommorrow, i'm heading to bed for now...

[Hurricane]

Some guys really are jerks around here. As I see it, the only thing you did wrong was not trying to get to know her parents better. If they had accepted you as her bf, I'm sure they wouldn't have pressed charges against you.

Everything else is just a parody on justice.

[Elden]

Originally posted by Hurricane
Some guys really are jerks around here. As I see it, the only thing you did wrong was not trying to get to know her parents better. If they had accepted you as her bf, I'm sure they wouldn't have pressed charges against you.

Everything else is just a parody on justice.

Courts are all about law, justice is ignored all to often.

[Ted Striker]

[edited for adult content: nudity, adult situations ]

[Ben Kenobi]

Korn:

She was 17?

My only point is the same as Imran's, couldn't you have waited until she was 18? Then you could have gotten married, without the rest of the hassle from her parents.

Again, I'm sure it's easier said than done.

[TCO]

Originally posted by Ted Striker
[edited for adult content: nudity, adult situations ]

PM

[chequita guevara]

Originally posted by Hurricane
Some guys really are jerks around here.

No, we're older, and we know why 9 times out of ten a much older man goes out with a teenage girl, because he can't relate to women his own age. Sikander was spot on. Theben and I very nearly decided to go have a "talk" with one guy, who was 27, who was dating our 18 year-old sister. We let it slide, because, knowing our sister, she wasn't gonna be interested in him for very long, and she wasn't.

Sikander's post was short, sweet, and too the point, so there's no reason for me to expand upon it. Any man who thinks a child is his soul-mate has serious problems. He needs to get help to understand and overcome why he feels he can connect on such a level with someone who hasn't experienced life yet.

[lightblue]

So people become magically unchildlike at 18? That is silly. Some people are very grown up for their age, others behave like 12 year olds when their in their 20's.

I have gone out with 18-19 year olds when I was 23-4 (and also went out with a 23 year old when i was 17-8), and yes there is an age difference, but the only time you really notice it if you talk about music and movies and that sort of thing. That being said I would have problems with going out with a 16 year old now, just because of the whole "when I started uni you were only 9" kind of thing.

[TCO]

Originally posted by chegitz guevara


No, we're older, and we know why 9 times out of ten a much older man goes out with a teenage girl, because he can't relate to women his own age. Sikander was spot on. Theben and I very nearly decided to go have a "talk" with one guy, who was 27, who was dating our 18 year-old sister. We let it slide, because, knowing our sister, she wasn't gonna be interested in him for very long, and she wasn't.

Sikander's post was short, sweet, and too the point, so there's no reason for me to expand upon it. Any man who thinks a child is his soul-mate has serious problems. He needs to get help to understand and overcome why he feels he can connect on such a level with someone who hasn't experienced life yet.

I've never dated any 17 yearolds (except when I was one.) But I do find younger women nicer. MEaning mid 20s or so.

[chequita guevara]

Originally posted by lightblue
So people become magically unchildlike at 18?

No, but that's what the law sez. I have met fewer and fewer "adult" like 18 year olds the older I've gotten. There are a few things I could infer from this: I'm becoming an old codger, Americans are getting ever more immature, or we weren't as mature as we thought we were at that age. The truth is, all of the above.

The four-year age difference you mention isn't as great as the eight-year difference in Korn's post.

[chequita guevara]

Originally posted by GP
But I do find younger women nicer. MEaning mid 20s or so.

Key word . . . women. Korn's dating a girl. By a person's mid-twenties, they should already be adults, know who they are, they're place in the world, reaslize they aren't the center of the universe, that they have a death sentence, etc. There should be a major maturity leap between a teenager and a mid twenty-something. Hell, frankly, I should think a person in their mid-twenties would be bored listening to the trials and travels of becomming an adult yet again, having gone throw it themselves and watched their friends go through it.