AHL- Apolyton Hockey League III-- Olympic edition

[Asher]

Ovechkin just injured Campbell with a ride into the boards from behind.

[Ben Kenobi]

Oh ben do you know that a player by the name of Jarome Iginla now has NINE straight seasons with 30 or more goals. (and had 28 and 29 in the two prior years)

Guess how many players have 10 or more years doing it-- NINE in the whole freaking history of the NHL

Where did I ever say he was a bad player? He isn't.

He reminds me more of Mike Gartner than Mike Bossy, with the corresponding difference in talent.

[Ben Kenobi]

But Burrows outproduced and clinched the scoring title between Iginla and Burrows, as Iginla has no points tonight.

Got a shortie too.

Iggy: 31 33 64
Burrows: 31 26 57

[Ben Kenobi]

NCAA hockey handles this in a very rational fashion (which, undoubtedly, is way too complicated for Americans to follow). Wins in regulation or overtime are awarded 3 points. Teams tied after overtime are both awarded 1 point; the winner of the subsequent shootout earns another point. Simple, logical, and would almost certainly cause the average American sports fan's head to explode.

Personally, I'd rather go with one of two ways.

1, No loser points at all. You only get 2 points if you win, and zero points for losses. This will cause the least amount of adjustment between the historical records and now.

2, Bring back ties, and just have win/loss and a tie after an OT period. No points for an OT loss, and dump the shootout.

[Asher]

Got a shortie too.

Iggy: 31 33 64
Burrows: 31 26 57

Still losing your bet.

[Ben Kenobi]

What bet? You backed down, or is it on now?

[Asher]

No, Ben, you didn't accept the bet.

You were a coward then, you are now.

[Ben Kenobi]

Well seeing as you accused me of wanting to go Tanya Harding on Iggy, I can hardly say that I'm the coward.

[Asher]

You did not accept the extremely reasonable terms of the bet. You are a coward.

FWIW, Tonya Harding was a coward also. Incidentally, she is more masculine than you are.

[Ben Kenobi]

Right, gay guys deciding what counts as masculine. Sure.

[Asher]

I like how in your world, masculinity and femininity are completely linked to sexual orientation.

I assure you, I'm more masculine than most straight guys. I've got excessive levels of testosterone (not sure if you've noticed).

You, on the other hand, are a squirrelly little coward who has never had sex with anyone in his life. If you're using sexuality as your barometer for masculinity, I've bagged infinitely more women than you have.

[Ben Kenobi]

Son, here's a little lesson.

Real men are modest.

I've had the fortune to know some very fine ladies and I'm proud to have their acquaintance.

[Asher]

Don't call me "son", Ben, you're not the 50 year old man you think you are in the profile. We all know it.

We also all know you are and will always be a virgin. Don't try to lie, you're not smart enough for it.

[Asher]

Steve Downie...the next Matt Cooke?

[notyoueither]

If I may interrupt yet another richly-deserved Ben beatdown for a moment...

What think you guys about the recent GM meeting? The proposed headshot rule changes don't seem to have any teeth. I can understand not wanting to take away the physical nature of the game, but I don't see how harsher penalties for headshots would limit physicality--just focus the bodychecks on, well, the body.

'We' don't want physicality reduced, do we? 'We' want players' heads protected, because hits to the head have severe effects on their health both short and long term. 'We' being the owners, GMs, players, and most fans (I should think).

Focusing body checks on the body is the point.

The proposed playoff format changes (8 vs. 9 play-in) are lame, except as a final tiebreaker.

I like it. More meaningful games for more teams.

I think the NHL needs to make some bigger shake-ups to make the game more exciting and entertaining. For instance, the no line change after icing rule is great; they should expand that to every stoppage of play: your goalie freezes the puck, you can't change your lines. You go offsides, you can't change your lines. You commit a penalty, you can't change your lines. The only exception I'd give would be for goals (obviously) and for shots that go out of play.

I don't like this.

There is good rationale for the icing no-changes rule, because it adds a very minor penalty to teams who can't play well in their own end and 'defend' by delaying the game. However, it also comes at a price, and that price is that tired players will be more susceptible to injury. I think it is a good thing as it is now, but pushing it too far would have bad consequences (more injuries).

I'd also give serious consideration to removing the penalty kill icing immunity.

I don't agree. See above re injuries. It is hard enough to influence the puck when a team is short-handed. I don't think there needs to be any piling on.

And, finally, I'd have some minor league somewhere test out a season where teams play 4-on-4 all game long, as opposed to overtime only. Players are only getting bigger; I think this might open up the play quite a bit (and also save teams some money on payroll).

Now you are offending my purist sensibilities.

Seriously, I don't think I would like the effect this would have on the ability of teams to play defence. Hockey can be a bit of an acquired taste, and an appreciation for the defencive side of the game is likely one of those things requiring longer, more intense exposure. Either that, or I am just too conservative.

Oh, and one other thing... the tightening of rules that led to decreasing the ability to obstruct and the resulting increase in the speed of the game came with a price. That price is more and greater severity of injuries as these larger players are moving at greater speeds when they smack into each other. There may be less contact at four on four, but if you played the entire game that way you would see some truely spectacular, perhaps debilitating or even fatal, collisions as players trained for it and got experience with the timing.

Throw me a bone here. /Mike Meyers

The 3-2-1 points thing would be a good idea.