Casual Sex

[Lorizael]

wrt to just going on lots of dates and seeing what works, I often feel clueless as to who I would want to date. I develop my creepy unhealthy obsessions for particular women, and I've always assumed that those feelings (inflated and inaccurate though they may be) are an indicator of who I'm attracted to. But at the same time, I don't like to act on my obsessions, because I understand that they are not based in reality and don't reflect what may happen if I actually talk to the object of my obsession. This leaves me at a loss as to what I'm supposed to do.

Like, I'm TAing a class of 200 right now, so the load is shared with a few other TAs, one of whom seems to be fairly friendly with me. I'm not saying there's anything there, just that maybe she doesn't despise me, but I don't have any thoughts about her other than that she's not hideous and we at least share the interest of astronomy. Is that sufficient reason to talk to her/ask her on a date? I really just don't know. That level of affinity seems infinitesimal compared to... I've lived out an extensive, multi-year fantasy with whoever I'm obsessed with... but it also seems like the only reasonable criteria if the goal is just to interact with a bunch of people and see what works.

[kentonio]

Talk to her certainly, I'd wait on the date thing until you find out whether you actually like her though.

[Ben Kenobi]

Ask her to lunch, see how it goes, go on from there. If you don't like each other, move on. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

[Lorizael]

Talk to her certainly, I'd wait on the date thing until you find out whether you actually like her though.

****, talking? This'll never work.

[rah]

always makes me chuckle.
YES, TALKING IS A REQUIREMENT.
At least you're probably not good looking enough to bypass that one.

[pchang]

He could try waving his hands randomly at a gathering of a sorority for the deaf....

[Lorizael]

I'm sometimes very tempted to pretend I'm a psychology researcher and try to start conversations with people by claiming I'm conducting research on how people converse.

[Ming]

Whatever works

[kentonio]

Just hang around hipster girls and tell them that talking is so passé.

[Lorizael]

...tell them that talking is so passé.

How?

[Guynemer]

Sex is pretty good imo.

But seriously it's fine. So long as all involved parties (which does not necessarily mean just to two people doin' it) are aware of the happenings and the lack of emotional stakes, it is completely fine. I had quite a bit of casual sex between the time my med school engagement ended and when I met Galnemer ~18 months later, and I don't really regret it. Once I met someone I knew I could get truly involved with, I stopped, and I didn't (and still don't) miss it.

[Lorizael]

OTOH, you should avoid a ten-minute digression on clauses, or anything else that might give you a visible erection.

Oops.

[kentonio]

You should probably try and get into a furious, chair throwing argument about the correct use of apostrophes too. Women love a bit of passion.

[Thoth]

Ask her what she thinks of Oxford commas.

[Bereta_Eder]

How?

By a dismissive break of the wrist.