What's a fair price for a 500-page trade paperback?

[Elok]

Only off by a little, and like Lori said, I gave a false impression that she was Ibraim's daughter. I need to think carefully about what I want to include, since I have a max of around 200 words, and less might well be more in this case. This is what BUncle called an "exploring the thing" novel, similar to Ringworld but with less ridiculously wooden characters (and a very different world to poke around in).

[Ming]

I sure got the impression that she was Ibraim's daughter from reading your piece

[Elok]

Yeah, I can see that. Is this better?

Sixteen-year-old Yunise Columabbi is the last living bearer of the Curse of Life. She can give sight to the blind, heal crippled limbs in a moment, bring the sick back from the brink of death—or kill a man without touching him. To her father's subjects, she is an angel. But her miraculous powers come only at the cost of her own health. The Curse killed her mother, and if she isn't careful it might kill her as well. Already it has cost her her birthright as an amir's daughter, and left her friendless and vulnerable.

Now, as she struggles to make a place in the world for herself, she finds it much less stable and happy than she thought. The priesthood which has ordered civilization for a thousand years is decaying, and there are forces at work who have no care for angels, or miracles, only for their own power. But they will gladly take hers as well, if they can get them . . .

[rah]

Does it really need to start with Sixteen year old?
It does make it sound like a teen book. (which might actually be a good thing for marketing)
If you don't want that, just leave it off. It really doesn't change anything.

You left out the post-apocalyptic aspect. I usually gravitate to those. So mentioning it even in passing might help. Maybe not,

[Elok]

I suppose the age isn't necessary; there's not much risk she'll be taken for a thirtysomething, with the rest of the description.

As for post-apocalyptic, it really isn't. Civilization has recovered nicely in the intervening seven centuries or so; the main effects of the Execration are historical amnesia and a very conservative view of theology. They're at around nineteenth-century tech levels, to the extent that such comparisons can be made.

[Ming]

That's much cleaner... but I do agree with Rah's comment on the post-apocalyptic aspect, usually a good selling point
And I would agree to drop the 16 year old comment.

But again, I guess I'm confused... "To her father's subjects, she is an angel."

Who the hell is her father? The High Priest, the King of the land, some poor schumck? I have no clue.

[rah]

As for post-apocalyptic, it really isn't.

Really

Civilization has recovered nicely in the intervening seven centuries or so

So the Apocalypse just happened a little longer ago.

SELL IT.

[Ming]

Really
So the Apocalypse just happened a little longer ago.
SELL IT.

Reading this... I thought of this

[Elok]

Okay, I'm putting this cover mockup here as part of a convoluted get-a-custom-cover-image scheme, long story. But hey, look at the cool touchup BUncle did!

[ZEE]

The layout looks very nerdy.

[Elok]

Can you be a dear and go thread**** some other thread? Ordinarily I don't mind tuning you out, but this is business, after a fashion, and I don't like the clutter.

[ZEE]

nerd buisness.

[Elok]

I'm not joking. Please don't make me bother the mods over this. The joke was old before it was made. If you want to keep making it, that's your business, but make it someplace else.

[ZEE]

Fine. You're no fun.

[Ben Kenobi]

Elok, do you plan to have those black lines over the front? That just... really mars the whole image. I don't think that particular image is really... compelling. It makes me think you've got a historical fiction kind of thing - something set in India.

I can't read the title at all. Put it Horizontal, not vertical, over the top not along the side. and Don't keep that vertical stripe right down the middle of the picture.

Have a look at this:



Which I think is closer to probably what you want. You could do, if you wanted to a race lifted version of that, which I think would probably communicate better what you're actually trying to sell.