Times they are a'changing

[rah]

We lived together for a couple of years prior and married now about 28 years. It just seems longer.

[Ben Kenobl]

I am very happy that young Nikolai is following my advice about remaining celibate before marriage. The most beautiful thing is giving your virginity to your one and only true love.

[Dinner]

How the **** would a virgin like you know?

[dannubis]

Dinner, you are talking to a DL...

[ricketyclik]

There have been statistics that when people marry after 5+ years of relationship (in the US), they have a higher failure rate.

Why would a happy couple suddenly decide to have a wedding? Probably because something is broken, and they think a wedding might fix it.

I'm with Dannubis. 1st wife 18 years, never married, four now with the second, and not married.

(By married I mean "wed". We're obviously effectively and legally married).

[kentonio]

Why would a happy couple suddenly decide to have a wedding?

Some people just like the idea of having the ceremony and the legality of it. It can feel like a final step after people have lived together for enough years to be sure.

[Jon Miller]

Some people just like the idea of having the ceremony and the legality of it. It can feel like a final step after people have lived together for enough years to be sure.

And in the US such people have a lower success rate than those who don't live together and get married after a couple of years.

JM

[rah]

People are different. There are many factors that go into whether a couple will succeed. Looking at just one factor and basing a decision on that statistic is probably not a good idea.

[Jon Miller]

Of course it isn't the cause, that is not how statistics work.

But I would take it as a warning sign if you both value marriage, are american, and you stay in a relationship for years without marrying. Probably means something is wrong unless there was a special reason why (like being in university).

JM

[Aeson]

I'm still engaged to Net.

I don't think statistics are useful in regards to planning or judging relationship decisions. Everyone is different, every relationship is different, and what is "good" or "bad" is relative to those unique factors.

[Aeson]

Why would a happy couple suddenly decide to have a wedding? Probably because something is broken, and they think a wedding might fix it.

Net and I will get married eventually, likely this next year or next. She was young when we met, I was broke, we weren't sure if I'd be able to stay here or when she could go there. Now we have 4 siblings we're putting through college, a house we're finishing (cash). We want to have a nice wedding, be able to fly in my parents at least and have a place for them to stay comfortably. It takes a lot of money, we started at 0 ... just takes time.

It's a very common reason for people waiting to get married here. (The other is people waiting for their spouse they've separated from to die, since there is no divorce and annulments are something only the rich and famous can get generally.)

[Jon Miller]

Being broke is a special reason, I Agree.

JM

[Ben Kenobi]

US such people have a lower success rate than those who don't live together and get married after a couple of years

Would be nice to be honest and state that those who live together before marrying have a lower success rate than those who live apart.

[Bugs ****ing Bunny]

Why would a happy couple suddenly decide to have a wedding?

Because they're a happy couple?

[Dinner]

I agree with a long engagement. At least six months and maybe a year.