Help me understand human nature

[N35t0r]

So you think your kid would be better living in a house where your life was at risk?

[Elok]

Two of the three ills you've listed can be mitigated through better education. That might be more likely to happen than wishful thinking about putting genies back in bottles.

As someone who has seen children from this sort of extreme lower-class background (and only a few per classroom, and I suspect they were milder cases) in an educational setting, I do not mean you any sort of disrespect when I say HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAA EDUCATION THAT'S A GOOD ONE!

Education cannot, cannot, cannot compensate for a fundamentally broken home life. The child grows up with less respect for learning, progress, etc. than a randy donkey. Perhaps a few of the really sharp ones will feel some faint curiosity for things more complicated than designer sneakers or boobies. The bulk, however, will be far too unmotivated to learn. Even the worst pupils from a healthy background have some faint desire a teacher can leverage, whether it's a yearning for respect or a wish to avoid a chewing-out by parents. These kids, no such luck.

[ricketyclik]

Heheheh. He said randy donkey.

[Bereta_Eder]

N35t0r,

Yes, he blames me for everything, because his mother does. I think it would be better for him if we were still married. But no way I could do it.

His mother does the primal offence of any divorced couple: badmouthing the other parent. She's wrong and hurts her child.
However you should in no circumstance reply with the same coin. Never badmouth his mother to him.
If you have time with your son just take him out and do fatherly things with him (I don't know if he likes some sport etc).
Have a good time with your boy and let advice about life slip through these times.
Getting into a confrontational situation with his mother with the child in the middle is painful for the child.
Keep in mind that whatever happens, his father is you. So he can have a good dad, an absent dad or a bad dad. But it will always be you.
Also I find it unbelievable that a court would give costudy (sp) to a drug addict.

[Ben Kenobi]

Countries have shown that in some matters it's the first that happens and ironically, the ones that should be "floundering under the weight" of such expenses are the ones that are actually thriving.

Support can only be given where there is support to give. If 50+1 percent of children are raised in broken homes, then do we expect the 49 to carry themselves and the rest?

[Bereta_Eder]

A broken home can also have two parent families and a stable house, one.
About the other thing, it is a matter of who needs what, regardless of number of parents in a household.
The countries that follow that dogma, prosper.
I'm not saying that you give support to one parent family with 500.000 euros annual income.
Actually I'm not sure you have any support to give except accidentaly self shoot yourself in the head to be honest.

[Bereta_Eder]

As someone who has seen children from this sort of extreme lower-class background (and only a few per classroom, and I suspect they were milder cases) in an educational setting, I do not mean you any sort of disrespect when I say HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAA EDUCATION THAT'S A GOOD ONE!

Education cannot, cannot, cannot compensate for a fundamentally broken home life. The child grows up with less respect for learning, progress, etc. than a randy donkey. Perhaps a few of the really sharp ones will feel some faint curiosity for things more complicated than designer sneakers or boobies. The bulk, however, will be far too unmotivated to learn. Even the worst pupils from a healthy background have some faint desire a teacher can leverage, whether it's a yearning for respect or a wish to avoid a chewing-out by parents. These kids, no such luck.

That's a problem of poverty and marginalization that is inherent in a non just society. Family structure has nothing to do with it.
And education really can solve many things.

[Elok]

Yes, education can solve many things; a broken culture does not happen to be one of them. And family structure most certainly does tie into it. It's not the whole problem, of course--the issue is what's sometimes called "cultural poverty," a set of self-destructive behaviors that get passed on from generation to generation, all but ensuring that nobody gets ahead. Unstable and unsupportive home environments are one of the worst, but they're all tied in with a disinterest in education, an inability to budget or save money/short term thinking, etc. In general, people who prosper do not have children very early, with no means of supporting them and no committed partner to help raise them. That's a recipe for disaster. Yes, homes can be FUBAR with two parents as well, but that doesn't change the fact that statistically, single-parent households are far worse.

I said earlier that most policy is focused around the needs and interests of the well-to-do. Partly this is simple corruption, but a good portion of it is just that the poor are not that engaged in public life. When Mom is working two jobs as a waitress, she does not have time to go to PTA meetings, or talk to her kids' teachers. She doesn't write to her congressman, or make campaign contributions, or become involved in causes like her upper-middle-class counterparts. She may not even read the paper; it's possible she's not properly literate. And note that she's not a teacher; if a teacher is a single mom, it's likely because of divorce, and she may well remarry. Add all that up, and you naturally find that educational reforms focus more on the needs of middle-class kids.

[Kidlicious]

That's a problem of poverty and marginalization that is inherent in a non just society. Family structure has nothing to do with it.
And education really can solve many things.

No. It's a cultural problem, and I'm talking about across socio-economic groups. And education in the US has been captured by feminists. So this is the outcome that.

[Bereta_Eder]

Yes, education can solve many things; a broken culture does not happen to be one of them.

That's exactly what it can fix...

And family structure most certainly does tie into it.

Again, this is irrelevant to any part about culture or education.

I said earlier that most policy is focused around the needs and interests of the well-to-do. Partly this is simple corruption, but a good portion of it is just that the poor are not that engaged in public life. When Mom is working two jobs as a waitress, she does not have time to go to PTA meetings, or talk to her kids' teachers. She doesn't write to her congressman, or make campaign contributions, or become involved in causes like her upper-middle-class counterparts. She may not even read the paper; it's possible she's not properly literate. And note that she's not a teacher; if a teacher is a single mom, it's likely because of divorce, and she may well remarry. Add all that up, and you naturally find that educational reforms focus more on the needs of middle-class kids.

Well she won't have to do two jobs because the dad would contribute, if he can't (or he's dead) the state will contribute, the teacher meetings will be attended neither by the two parents if they both work at that time. Hence a leave of absence from work exactly for that.

People shouldn't need to write to anyone to press for what's right. It should automatically be give to them.

[Bereta_Eder]

No. It's a cultural problem, and I'm talking about across socio-economic groups. And education in the US has been captured by feminists. So this is the outcome that.

Even if you turn those people to hard core neoliberals, that system will again reproduce such a disadvantaged class. The only thing that would have changed are the faces/people of the ones that would constitute it.

[Kidlicious]

Yes, education can solve many things; a broken culture does not happen to be one of them. And family structure most certainly does tie into it. It's not the whole problem, of course--the issue is what's sometimes called "cultural poverty," a set of self-destructive behaviors that get passed on from generation to generation, all but ensuring that nobody gets ahead. Unstable and unsupportive home environments are one of the worst, but they're all tied in with a disinterest in education, an inability to budget or save money/short term thinking, etc. In general, people who prosper do not have children very early, with no means of supporting them and no committed partner to help raise them. That's a recipe for disaster. Yes, homes can be FUBAR with two parents as well, but that doesn't change the fact that statistically, single-parent households are far worse.

I said earlier that most policy is focused around the needs and interests of the well-to-do. Partly this is simple corruption, but a good portion of it is just that the poor are not that engaged in public life. When Mom is working two jobs as a waitress, she does not have time to go to PTA meetings, or talk to her kids' teachers. She doesn't write to her congressman, or make campaign contributions, or become involved in causes like her upper-middle-class counterparts. She may not even read the paper; it's possible she's not properly literate. And note that she's not a teacher; if a teacher is a single mom, it's likely because of divorce, and she may well remarry. Add all that up, and you naturally find that educational reforms focus more on the needs of middle-class kids.

Hasn't anyone told you yet? It's all you educators fault.

This is what they learn from everyone. Their parents, the media, and yes ironically their teachers.

[Kidlicious]

Even if you turn those people to hard core neoliberals, that system will again reproduce such a disadvantaged class. The only thing that would have changed are the faces/people of the ones that would constitute it.

I don't think you undetstand how easy EVERYONE has it in america. Seriously, if you aren't ill, it's a cakewalk.

[Bereta_Eder]

Hasn't anyone told you yet? It's all you educators fault.

This is what they learn from everyone. Their parents, the media, and yes ironically their teachers.

No. Many times it's the parents fault.
Actually most of the time this stands.

The contributing factors in world perception are: (in declining order of influence)

PARENT(S)
Friends
School
and much further down
media

[Bereta_Eder]

I don't think you undetstand how easy EVERYONE has it in america. Seriously, if you aren't ill, it's a cakewalk.

Come on... a kid born in a ghetto is almost condemned to stay in it... (not talking exclusively about US though)