Please don't take this too seriously.

[rah]

Wish you luck. At least if she was really interested you'll find out.

[Lorizael]

Long email response. The relevant bit is:

I'm flattered, of course, that you're asking me out. I'm afraid that my answer is no, thank you. Whether or not I'm still technically your TA is a moot point: it would be inappropriate. A secondary reason is that I'm already seeing someone.

Man, I haven't been rejected in 11 years. Not exactly a pleasant feeling. But kind of liberating at the same time. Sigh.

[self biased]

it stings, for sure, but at least you know now?

my usual set of platitudes won't really work for you.

[self biased]

it stings, for sure, but at least you know now?

my usual set of platitudes won't really work for you.

[ricketyclik]

Yeah, bummer dude. But on the bright side... All the other women in the world!

[Kidlicious]

Such is life as a man bro. Sorry you didn't get to objectify her.

[EPW]

I'm flattered, of course, that you're asking me out. I'm afraid that my answer is no, thank you. Whether or not I'm still technically your TA is a moot point: it would be inappropriate. A secondary reason is that I'm already seeing someone.

A secondary reason is that she's seeing someone? Really? Maybe she's into some kinky stuff...

And it's obviously not inappropriate...but I suppose white lies are normal for this kind of thing.

[Lorizael]

The part that bothers me is that I apparently totally misread the situation/her. She was, at most, being friendly, when I thought she was flirting/interested. Makes me sink deeper into the perception that I'm a ****ing social ******.

(I'm lying. The part that bothers me is that she said no.)

[EPW]

See, now this is when you enter stalker mode. That's how I got my girlfriend.

[Lorizael]

What I have to do now is something I've never really done before. I need to go, okay, this chick isn't in to me; now I need to find another chick.

[EPW]

I suppose that's one way to go.

[ricketyclik]

That's the way to go, if she wants you then the message she's sending would indicate she's very hard work indeed. You didn't necessarily misread it though - when I was single plenty of married women came on to me just to prove to themselves I'd take the bait, then said "Sorry, I'm married".

[Kidlicious]

What I have to do now is something I've never really done before. I need to go, okay, this chick isn't in to me; now I need to find another chick.

These days that's the safe route, although continuing pursuit often works.

[ricketyclik]

At the risk of labouring the point, life's too short for women who want to **** around. Move on, find a better woman.

Or maybe she's being straight. Either way, same outcome.

[Lorizael]

Yeah, I have no intention of further pursuing a woman who's involved with someone else. Were the only roadblock the possibility of inappropriateness, I might attempt to find out whether she genuinely believes that (and then try to change her mind) or she's just trying to let me down gently.

In some future scenario where she's no longer with whomever she's with and she feels sufficiently removed from being my TA, I'd totally be up on that if we were to cross paths again/she reached out to me. But I'm not holding my breath.

It occurred to me last night that since my breakup with the ex, I've managed to make connections, however small, with ~5 women. Most of those women were already in relationships, and I wasn't super interested in any of them (except TA), but nonetheless it demonstrates that there are women out there with whom I can get along if I make the effort. So things aren't hopeless for old Lori.