Please don't take this too seriously.

[Lorizael]

Okay, so I'm pretty sure at least one of my roommates is using my bathroom stuff. And not just my shampoo/conditioner/toothpaste, but my toothbrush/comb/deodorant. wtf. how do i even? monkeys.

[DaShi]

Put hot sauce in it. Then leave very sharp rusty nails and metal scraps in their beds.

[Lorizael]

Do I confront them? Take my stuff out of the bathroom when I'm not using it? Buy new bathroom stuff? Crap on their beds? What?

[Aeson]

Buy two identical toothbrushes. Drop one of them in the toilet after you use it. Just leave it floating there for someone to find. After your roommate finds it and kindly returns it (unwashed no doubt) to wherever you normally keep it ... swap with the other one. Your roommate will enjoy thinking you're brushing your teeth with the toilet toothbrush. You will enjoy not having to worry about your roommate brushing their teeth with it. Win/Win (unless your roommate then accidentally knocks your toothbrush into the toilet again and figures you won't notice because you didn't before ...)

[DaShi]

That's concern no matter what he does. In fact, having his roommate use his toothbrush is a pretty good way to ensure it doesn't end up in the toilet. These are the decisions adults have to make.

[rah]

Actually, maybe the best is to quasi confront them. In a jovial tone ask who used it, and when they don't say anything mention you asked because you were going to by a new one and figured you could give your old one to whoever used it since they didn't seem to mind. Then walk calmly away and never say another word about it.

[Lorizael]

Ugh. Went to bed with headache. Woke up with headache. Have quiz in thermo. Not going to be a good day.

[Lorizael]

Ugh. Food makes me nauseous. Head still pounding. Want to just sleep.

[Sava]

I have a headache too

[Sava]

wtf. how do i even monkeys.

hang your arms and go OOO OOO OOO AAAAAAHH

[Lorizael]

I've got like a kilogram of ibuprofen over here if you need some.

[Sava]

I appreciate the offer. Thank you.

But it has since dissipated. It has been very dry around here lately.

[Sava]

I have a suggestion for your roommate problem. You will need the following supplies:

a lighter
an empty gas can
water


First, put the water into the gas can. Next, barge into their bedroom(s) in the wee hours of the morning (or whenever they sleep) while dumping the water on your head and on them. Hold the lighter out at say GET READY TO DIE BITCHES

Then, say "lol jk, but seriously, don't touch my stuff or I may actually freak out"

They will not mess with you again.

You may actually end up with new roommates who have better manners and respect for personal property

[Aeson]

You may actually end up with new roommates who have better manners and respect for personal property

... in the psychiatric ward it probably would be true, but if it's prison then they're probably not going to be as respectful.

[Sava]

there's nothing illegal about dumping water on someone