Please don't take this too seriously.

[rah]

I'll try that on the next one but she'll probably come up with some bizarro explanation that the students will be able to recreate the hard drive and access our financial records. (which we don't keep on that computer) But it's worth a shot.

[Lorizael]

You guys remember the first Men in Black, with the Bug who wore an Edgar suit? And as the film progressed, it became harder and harder for the Bug to keep the Edgar suit together? He shambled around, and parts fell off, and people gave him weird looks. Well, that's me. There are times when I feel like I'm unraveling, like everything I put up to hide myself from the world is coming undone and soon the real me will be exposed. Except instead of the real me being a gigantic fearsome bug, it's a pathetic dysfunctional child. Back in 2008, when I was a tech writer for the FAA, this happened. I unraveled completely, and my boss called me in to ask what was wrong, and I explained that I was a seriously depressed, unmotivated failure who'd been lying about his work for months and that I needed serious help. Then I walked out and never came back, even though the contracting company I was with called me several times with offers to let me come back to work and get treatment. That was one of my dumber decisions. I was unemployed for several months and blew through all of my savings. I haven't yet recovered financially. (There have been other hits to my finances since, like the time I was fired and lived on unemployment for several months.) Paragraphs are for ****ers.

[Sava]

I started up OkCupid again a week or so ago. So far the only person to message me is a porn bot. There are times when being a chick is easier.

It's tough. I've tried a couple times in the last month.

Also, women have been raped in the process of dating. So... you might want to rethink the whole "they have it easier" thing.

[Lorizael]

There are times when being a chick is easier. Women are more likely to be messaged than men on (most) dating sites. That's uncontroversial and the only point I was making.

[rah]

Since I doubt I would have been able to reach many of the positions that I've held at different companies if I was a women, I don't thind they have it easier. I know you guys are talking about dating but overall they have it worse. And if you're a wealthy male, women will answer anything you ask and getting dates isn't an issue.

[Lorizael]

Yes, overall, women have it worse. I'm not Kidicious, guys.

[Sava]

There are times when being a chick is easier. Women are more likely to be messaged than men on (most) dating sites. That's uncontroversial and the only point I was making.

You literally said women should be raped.

[Sava]

Yes, that is incontrovertibly true.

I always have these kinds of arguments with my female friends about this - one of them even calls it 'man shopping', just waiting for all the mail to come flooding in...

Though, I have to say that my first and only foray into online dating (Match last year) was pretty successful in that I only stopped lurking when I saw a perfect 'match' and in the process for hunting her down (success!) I got bombarded with about 10 emails from mostly very hot women - including at least a few who I knew I'd enjoy being eaten alive by...

Not sure whether I should have concentrated solely on my prey, as I did, or diversified a little at least to have a bit of fun...

I think I'm too nice for my own good sometimes...

Were you in another region?

I don't believe that there are ten "very hot women" in Wales.

Welsh-hot is probably like a 5 at most.

[rah]

Yes, overall, women have it worse. I'm not Kidicious, guys.

Just more proof that you're more normal than you give yourself credit for.

[Lorizael]

You guys remember the first Men in Black, with the Bug who wore an Edgar suit? And as the film progressed, it became harder and harder for the Bug to keep the Edgar suit together? He shambled around, and parts fell off, and people gave him weird looks. Well, that's me. There are times when I feel like I'm unraveling, like everything I put up to hide myself from the world is coming undone and soon the real me will be exposed. Except instead of the real me being a gigantic fearsome bug, it's a pathetic dysfunctional child. Back in 2008, when I was a tech writer for the FAA, this happened. I unraveled completely, and my boss called me in to ask what was wrong, and I explained that I was a seriously depressed, unmotivated failure who'd been lying about his work for months and that I needed serious help. Then I walked out and never came back, even though the contracting company I was with called me several times with offers to let me come back to work and get treatment. That was one of my dumber decisions. I was unemployed for several months and blew through all of my savings. I haven't yet recovered financially. (There have been other hits to my finances since, like the time I was fired and lived on unemployment for several months.) Paragraphs are for ****ers.

Seriously, guys. I'm Vincent ****ing D'onofrio over here.

[Sava]

i liked you in law and order

and platoon

[Lorizael]

I think you mean Full Metal Jacket.

[Elok]

There are times when I feel like I'm unraveling, like everything I put up to hide myself from the world is coming undone and soon the real me will be exposed. Except instead of the real me being a gigantic fearsome bug, it's a pathetic dysfunctional child.

It should be fairly obvious to you that you're being too hard on yourself, but since you didn't believe everyone else when they said it, I won't belabor the point. Suspect you're engaging in depressive beat-up-on-myself-for-morbid-pleasure bull**** again. Please knock it off, if so; it's self-indulgent and doesn't help.

Anyway, what you're describing is not as bad as you think. In fact, it can be quite wonderful, albeit terrifying. My wife actually knows me better than I know myself (the same can be said of my brother and his wife). It can be annoying and frightening, but because she somehow loves me in spite of my nonsense, it ends up being handy. Remember, the human psyche is nine-tenths carefully layered lies, and you can't catch them all yourself. Not that this helps you in your single state--but being vulnerable isn't as horrible as you'd imagine.

[Lorizael]

I was having a mini-freak out at work. Low mood recently, exacerbated by excessive rumination over past relationships, leads to low stress tolerance, leads to anxiety, leads to freak outs.

[Traianvs]

I was having a mini-freak out at work. Low mood recently, exacerbated by excessive rumination over past relationships, leads to low stress tolerance, leads to anxiety, leads to freak outs.

At least you have a job. I'm one of those types that just hit thirty and still don't know what to do with their life. :/