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**Al B. Sure!** · November 3, 2011, 20:29

Originally posted by loinburger View Post

FWIW, I only ever ask the "so have you read the Bible?" question if somebody says something to the effect of "the Bible is the only book you ever need to read!", because a surprising number of people who say this haven't actually read the Bible. Kid's "I believe that the Bible is literally God and I worship it accordingly" is a bit more extreme than the position I usually hear that prompts the question.

About ten years ago my parents said "Y'know what? **** it, let's read the Bible!" ["Us" referred to my parents, not me; by this point I was no longer a Christian and had also moved out of the house.] I said "Go team." About a month later they said "Ummm... yeah, so, we started at the beginning of the Bible, and, well, now we're going to skip ahead to the New Testament." And I said "Go team."

Yup. A lot of people go around talking the bible this and the bible that but they have no idea what's in the Old Testament beyond children's versions of Noah and David killing Goliath. I've read from scripture to such professed Christians who were disgusted with it but it bizarrely did not shake their faith. Go figure. Crazy religious nuts.

**Kidlicious** · November 3, 2011, 20:33

Originally posted by loinburger View Post

What's not to understand? You accused me of not taking proper care with my dickgirlings, and I took offense at this accusation!

Oh That's what offended you. OK.

**Elok** · November 3, 2011, 20:40

Originally posted by Al B. Sure! View Post

Yup. A lot of people go around talking the bible this and the bible that but they have no idea what's in the Old Testament beyond children's versions of Noah and David killing Goliath. I've read from scripture to such professed Christians who were disgusted with it but it bizarrely did not shake their faith. Go figure. Crazy religious nuts.

Possibly because things like, for example, the exact order in which Lot's daughters slept with him, or the number of kids Elisha's bears ripped apart, are irrelevant to their personal salvation. Or pretty much anyone else's who wasn't living 2500+ years ago. But I wouldn't try to understand what motivates us if I were you. Or, if you do, start by getting past the silly notion that we're all hard Biblical literalists, or should be. I don't know if you got that idea from your Muslim upbringing or what, but it makes no sense for Christianity.

**Kidlicious** · November 3, 2011, 20:47

"So I prophesied as I was commanded, And as I was prophesying, there was a noice, a rattling sound, and the bones came together, bone to bone. I looked, and tendons and flesh appeared on them and skin covered them, but there was no breath in them."

Ezekiel 37:7-8

:worship:

**Kidlicious** · November 3, 2011, 20:47

"So I prophesied as I was commanded, And as I was prophesying, there was a noice, a rattling sound, and the bones came together, bone to bone. I looked, and tendons and flesh appeared on them and skin covered them, but there was no breath in them."

Ezekiel 37:7-8

:worship:

**Kidlicious** · November 3, 2011, 20:52

Originally posted by Elok View Post

Possibly because things like, for example, the exact order in which Lot's daughters slept with him, or the number of kids Elisha's bears ripped apart, is irrelevant to their personal salvation. Or pretty much anyone else's who wasn't living 2500+ years ago. But I wouldn't try to understand what motivates us if I were you. Or, if you do, start by getting past the silly notion that we're all hard Biblical literalists, or should be. I don't know if you got that idea from your Muslim upbringing or what, but it makes no sense for Christianity.

How else do you hack the Bible and troll the elect?

**Elok** · November 3, 2011, 20:52

Are you attempting to prove something with those verses, Kid? If so, I'm not seeing it.

Xpost

**loinburger** · November 3, 2011, 20:53

I think he means that he worships zombies

**Kidlicious** · November 3, 2011, 21:01

Originally posted by Elok View Post

Are you attempting to prove something with those verses, Kid? If so, I'm not seeing it.

Xpost

It might be edifying. It should be anyway, as with every verse in the Bible. I geuss you're ignoring my other posts though. But that's ok. I don't have any idea what you were talking about. But if it's all the same to you fine.

Anyway, when I read this section of Ezekial I think that the early church must have really believed in it.

**Elok** · November 3, 2011, 21:08

Could you stop being passive-aggressive for long enough to explain what you're trying to say? Ezekiel's vision appears to have little or nothing to do with scriptural inerrancy, the Bible as "the Word," the role of tradition, or anything else we have been talking about.

EDIT: Okay, I recalled you saying something about Ezekiel, here it is:

You're a weak troll but you put in a lot of effort. Keep trying there precious.

Elok, so no one in the early church believed that the Bible is the anti-christ or whatever it is that you believe?

And someone can quote Ezekial or I'll do it later.

So you erected a strawman, and followed it up with a reference to Ezekiel. Do you expect me to understand what you're saying from that?

**Kidlicious** · November 3, 2011, 21:17

Originally posted by Elok View Post

Could you stop being passive-aggressive for long enough to explain what you're trying to say? Ezekiel's vision appears to have little or nothing to do with scriptural inerrancy, the Bible as "the Word," the role of tradition, or anything else we have been talking about.

Oh well I have no idea what you are talking about when you say that the Bible is not the Word. I don't know if that's passive aggressive or not as it's been along time since I' ve been in a relationship with a woman.

Anyway, prophesy (the Holy Bible and what it existed as at one time orally) has the power to heal as well as all kinds of divine power.

**Elok** · November 3, 2011, 21:21

The brass snake Moses used in the wilderness had the power to heal too. We don't call that God. Nor do we call Elijah's cloak God, although it parted the river.

On an unrelated note, I commend you for your casual sexism.

**Kidlicious** · November 3, 2011, 21:27

Originally posted by Elok View Post

Could you stop being passive-aggressive for long enough to explain what you're trying to say? Ezekiel's vision appears to have little or nothing to do with scriptural inerrancy, the Bible as "the Word," the role of tradition, or anything else we have been talking about.

EDIT: Okay, I recalled you saying something about Ezekiel, here it is:

So you erected a strawman, and followed it up with a reference to Ezekiel. Do you expect me to understand what you're saying from that?

No. I'm actually interested to know if there is anyone who also believes as you do so that I might read what they have to say and understand it. Now I'm sure that I'm not being passive aggressive. If some early father shared your belief that would be even better.

Ezekial verse is seperate. Sorry for the misunderstanding.

**Kidlicious** · November 3, 2011, 21:33

Originally posted by Elok View Post

The brass snake Moses used in the wilderness had the power to heal too. We don't call that God. Nor do we call Elijah's cloak God, although it parted the river.

On an unrelated note, I commend you for your casual sexism.

"And God said, "Let there be light," and there was light. Can a snake or a cloak do that?

**loinburger** · November 3, 2011, 21:38

Originally posted by Kidicious View Post

"And God said, "Let there be light," and there was light. Can a snake or a cloak do that?

No, and neither can the Bible. God created the universe; the Bible is just a record of the event.

Pretend it took me four hours to post this.

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