Greatest Sect of Christianity

[loinburger]

You seem awfully upset at my level of literacy (as well as Imran's, I wasn't aware that it was a crime to read multiple translations of the Bible). Did you never bother reading the Bible because it takes you over a month to get through a chapter? You could probably find a KJV version on mp3. Then you would be less of an ignoramus.

[loinburger]

Come to think of it, you could steal a version of the KJV on mp3! Then you could hearken back to your days of half-witted communism!

Shoot, I keep forgetting; pretend it took me twenty minutes to compose this post.

[Kidlicious]

And you call yourself a spammer.

[loinburger]

I've never called myself a spammer. Dickgirling is an art form - you can't just post any old dickgirls, they've got to be carefully selected. I'm not surprised that you're a slapdash dickgirler, though - if you're too lazy to read the Bible then you're too lazy to prune your dickgirls

[Elok]

He has also never answered Elok's question as to whether Kid has read the entire Bible (for full disclosure sake, I have not finished the entire Bible, though I have read the entire New Testament, the entire Pentatuech [Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, and Deuteronomy], all the Historical Books [Joshua, Judges, Ruth, 1 Samuel, 2nd Samuel, 1 Kings, 2nd Kings, 1 Chronicles, 2nd Chronicles, Ezra, Nehimiah, Esther, and Job - currently I'm making my way through Psalms and will continue with the Wisdom books and go through the Prophets).

Just for the record, that was Loin's question. I haven't read the whole Bible either. Working through the NT right now, on Hebrews.

[Al B. Sure!]

Oh man the Old Testament is so off the wall with its bronze age insanity. Have fun

[loinburger]

FWIW, I only ever ask the "so have you read the Bible?" question if somebody says something to the effect of "the Bible is the only book you ever need to read!", because a surprising number of people who say this haven't actually read the Bible. Kid's "I believe that the Bible is literally God and I worship it accordingly" is a bit more extreme than the position I usually hear that prompts the question.

About ten years ago my parents said "Y'know what? **** it, let's read the Bible!" ["Us" referred to my parents, not me; by this point I was no longer a Christian and had also moved out of the house.] I said "Go team." About a month later they said "Ummm... yeah, so, we started at the beginning of the Bible, and, well, now we're going to skip ahead to the New Testament." And I said "Go team."

[Kidlicious]

I've never called myself a spammer. Dickgirling is an art form - you can't just post any old dickgirls, they've got to be carefully selected. I'm not surprised that you're a slapdash dickgirler, though - if you're too lazy to read the Bible then you're too lazy to prune your dickgirls

wait. what? wait. what?

[loinburger]

What's not to understand? You accused me of not taking proper care with my dickgirlings, and I took offense at this accusation!

[Elok]

Oh man the Old Testament is so off the wall with its bronze age insanity. Have fun

I'm familiar with most of the "crazy stuff" from years of being on Poly and having people like Boris ask things like "So, did Jechslemiel slay the entire tribe of Zerumael, and if so did he leave the cattle alone? It's especially bad if he used his left hand like he was told not to twenty-five verses before. Oh, he offered sacrifices of atonement? But it specifically says in verse thirty-eight that camels should be used in sacrifice, and the use of salt negates the whole thing. It's a gesture of hypocrisy, I tell you."

Problem is, these little tidbits have driven out what little preexisting OT knowledge I got from Sunday school. For example, I know somebody named "Noah" was important, but I just can't recall how...

[loinburger]

Noah was important because of the whole drunken flashing himself to his sons thing. Also he built a boat.

[Elok]

About ten years ago my parents said "Y'know what? **** it, let's read the Bible!" ["Us" referred to my parents, not me; by this point I was no longer a Christian and had also moved out of the house.] I said "Go team." About a month later they said "Ummm... yeah, so, we started at the beginning of the Bible, and, well, now we're going to skip ahead to the New Testament." And I said "Go team."

Was that at Leviticus, or Numbers? I tried it once and just skipped ahead to Joshua when I got to Leviticus, but I know Numbers is a doozy too.

[loinburger]

They were reading it front to back, so it was whichever of those books came first

[Kidlicious]

FWIW, I only ever ask the "so have you read the Bible?" question if somebody says something to the effect of "the Bible is the only book you ever need to read!", because a surprising number of people who say this haven't actually read the Bible. Kid's "I believe that the Bible is literally God and I worship it accordingly" is a bit more extreme than the position I usually hear that prompts the question.

About ten years ago my parents said "Y'know what? **** it, let's read the Bible!" ["Us" referred to my parents, not me; by this point I was no longer a Christian and had also moved out of the house.] I said "Go team." About a month later they said "Ummm... yeah, so, we started at the beginning of the Bible, and, well, now we're going to skip ahead to the New Testament." And I said "Go team."

Oh so you are also well trained in the ways of the Jedi.

[Kidlicious]

FWIW, I only ever ask the "so have you read the Bible?" question if somebody says something to the effect of "the Bible is the only book you ever need to read!", because a surprising number of people who say this haven't actually read the Bible. Kid's "I believe that the Bible is literally God and I worship it accordingly" is a bit more extreme than the position I usually hear that prompts the question.

About ten years ago my parents said "Y'know what? **** it, let's read the Bible!" ["Us" referred to my parents, not me; by this point I was no longer a Christian and had also moved out of the house.] I said "Go team." About a month later they said "Ummm... yeah, so, we started at the beginning of the Bible, and, well, now we're going to skip ahead to the New Testament." And I said "Go team."

Oh so you are also well trained in the ways of the Jedi.