Video on how to get a woman?

[MikeH]

It has changed it for the better. Evened things out.

[David Floyd]

Every time I've "fallen in love", I've gotten burned. The benefits I've received from those relationships do not even come close to outweighing the costs.

Given that I don't want to go through that again, the obvious course of action is for me to enjoy female company without worrying about emotional attachment. The benefits of that are obvious. The primary cost - loneliness - isn't great, but at least it's better than the alternative.

[MikeH]

Anyone who's been in a relationship has got hurt at some point, and it an be bad. Really bad but the good times can be so amazing.

If I had to give up the times I'd got hurt, but lose the good stuff as well, I'd take the hurt every time.

[Fake Boris]

It has changed it for the better. Evened things out.

The majority of marriages fail. Of those that are "successful" many are just unhappy.

[David Floyd]

Mike, fair enough. I just don't see it the same way, personally.

As to how to actually get a woman (ie, meet a woman and have her be interested in you), that's the freakin' easy part.

[MikeH]

That's not purely the fault of women though is it. It takes two to make a marriage fail and men are at least as much to blame as women. It takes work to keep things moving.

In a lot of the cases where people are unhappy I don't think there's any guarantee they'd be happier if they were alone, or having empty drunken one night stands.

[David Floyd]

The majority of marriages fail. Of those that are "successful" many are just unhappy.

This.

That also explains why married people cheat on their spouses, and why people in general cheat on their significant others. They are unhappy about some aspect of their relationship, or upset with their SO, and find some way to justify it. I've been on both sides of that equation (ie, been cheated on, and been the guy she cheated on her husband/BF with). Hell, I'll be honest, I cheated on a girlfriend once (and only once, and in my defense, she cheated on me first, and I had to find out about it).

[David Floyd]

In a lot of the cases where people are unhappy I don't think there's any guarantee they'd be happier if they were alone, or having empty drunken one night stands.

No, but some people would (me).

[MikeH]

As to how to actually get a woman (ie, meet a woman and have her be interested in you), that's the freakin' easy part.

I totally agree. And I hope you do fall into a great relationship one day.

[David Floyd]

Thanks. I (kind of) do too. I just don't expect it or seriously pursue it.

[Fake Boris]

That's not purely the fault of women though is it. It takes two to make a marriage fail and men are at least as much to blame as women. It takes work to keep things moving.

In a lot of the cases where people are unhappy I don't think there's any guarantee they'd be happier if they were alone, or having empty drunken one night stands.

Yes and this is what we're discussing.

When we're talking about ways to pick up women, we're also talking about getting to know them better. If you don't know how to pick up a woman, you're hapless when it comes to figuring out whether your wife is being picked up and what you can do about it.

Discussing crudely female sexual drive is not misogyny!

[Al B. Sure!]

I haven't gotten yet into everything that Aneeshm and Heraclitus were nice enough to send me but I just wanted to mention this...

My dilemma is not with the 'picking up' so to speak. I am pretty successful in getting the number and getting the girl to agree to let me take her out (I'm actually a pretty damn attractive man believe it or not). For about a week, the girl would do things like come up to my job looking for me, even when I'm not there, her girlfriends would come to me and talk to me about her (meaning she talked to them about me), she finds me and asks me if I've called her yet but she didn't recognize the number, etc. This has happened on several occasions. They are definitely interested in me.

And these aren't average girls. These are stunning women who model AND are honor students in a major like engineering. Top prospects whose ex-boyfriends are football or basketball players (consider I went to a Division I school).

The problem is everything grinds to a halt in Week 2. All of a sudden, all interest vanishes.

Now female friends who I'm not trying to pull and so I'm more willing to talk about my romantic failures to, are always puzzled by this. They do not see how it's puzzle that 1) I have so much difficulty 2) Women are very attracted to me at first glance but then lose all interest quickly. They've shown me to their friends who think I'm so great for a week or so, then all interest is gone and my friend who introduced me is all like I don't get it! What happened? What did you do?

I've made it a habit now to ask girls who I'm not interested when I first meet them, what kind of guy do they think I am. They always say a playboy kind of guy and don't believe me when I tell them they're wrong. They don't believe me when I tell them I've only had about one girlfriend and that I'm a virgin. They find it mind boggling. Until they witness women and even their girlfriends incredibly interested then lose interest within a few days.

Now one girl told me why. She was all smiles when I picked her up, eagerly giving me her number, agreeing to let me take her to dinner. The next day, when I didn't call her, she came to me asking me if I had called her cause she didn't recognize a number that called her. 'No, wasn't me. You want me to call you? I'll call you tonight then." "no rush," she said. Anyway, after a few weeks, it died down. I saved the conversation:

i could tell u were lyn... or tryna play it cool
that right there annoyed me
u lack confidence
i cud c it n ur face
n da way u walk
n a nutshel.... ur gullible/a pushova, u lack confidence, ur 2 eager almos 2 dapoint where u seem desperate..... all these qualities ne1 wud attribute 2 a female
wut heterosexual woman wants to b wit a man dat acts like a woman
ur really sensitive

Just like that. Somehow, I first strike them as an Alpha male, they are interested, then I'm a sucker and they lose interest.

The problem is if I use this pickup stuff, how does that really change anything? She said she could tell after a while that I was faking it. How can I look like I'm not faking it when I basically am?

[David Floyd]

Based on that conversation, clearly you aren't dating honors students. And if you are, I hope their parents sent them a bill for college

But seriously, try playing it a little cooler at first. Don't ask her to dinner when you get her number. In fact, if you are picking her up at a place both of you go all the time, don't even get her number. Just have a good time with her, tell her you'll see her next time, and then when you run into her again, all of a sudden you are a)more interesting because you left her wanting more, and b)not some random guy.

Not saying that approach always works, but it has for me before. It doesn't hurt to try.

An alternate approach is to have a first date be more casual - invite her to a BBQ your friends are having, hit up a happy hour after work, lunch one afternoon, something like that. If you try to "wine and dine" her on your first date, of course you're going to come across as insecure/desperate/trying to buy her/all of the above.

[Asher]

Have you tried really being into the girl?

JM

You usually need to get to know her first before she lets you do that.

That's one reason I don't like them.

[Al B. Sure!]

David:

Believe it or not, she's an engineering major. And she approached me first. I played it cool for two weeks before I asked her out.