Job Applications gone wrong

[Ninot]

I work at a restaurant in Montreal, and I have a long history of bringing good new people to the place to work there, so I've been put in charge of screening the new candidates for any position that isn't the head cook.

This week we are looking for new dishwashers. Basically, all you need is two hands and not be overly violent. This particular application reminded me of a TV show character.

Hi! I just saw your craiglist ad, and I'd be monumentally ecstatic if I got the job! My name is *Name Withheld* by the way. ^_^

I have a few questions,

First, what are the available hours?

And second, where exactly are you located at?

Here is my resume:

Resume


Name: xxxxxxxxx
Phone xxxxxxxx
Address: xxxxxxx
E-mail: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


Summary

I'm a fresh candidate, eager, very spirited and happy. I want to provide my services to you, and I want to do it well. This would be my first job, earning experience and a degree of respect. While relatively simple a task, I would take as much pride as humanly possible in getting it done.


Experience

As I have said previously, I’m new to the working force. This can often be perceived as a negative thing, but nothing could be further from the truth. I am more than willing to learn, and you could say I am positively excited over the prospect of a career with you.

Education

School name: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx(a high school)
City: xxxxxxxxxxxx
Province: QC
Country: Canada
Field of Study: General

I attended the xxxxx high school for approximately three years and a half. After this, I decided to leave and find an alternative means to pursue my formal education. This was about two years ago. I am currently studying to take my G.E.D.

Interests


I am very interested in getting the job done. I’ve always been what you call a perfectionist, and I take pride in this. It can be a burden on myself at times, but it is a good quality. I’m interested in Martial arts, because it soothes and calms the mind and body. I have also got a knack for writing; mainly fantasy skips, just for fun. I enjoy reading as well (science fiction, technology, science, general fiction).

Keyword Summary

These are the words that I believe describe me best:

Strong, Determined, Valiant, Hardworking, Perfectionist, Motivated, Creative, Happy, Persistent, Unshakable, Energetic.

There you have it! I hope you consider me,

*Name Witheld*.

[Ninot]

I just couldn't keep myself together when I got to Keyword Summary

[Aeson]

Valiant dishwashers are in short supply these days... quite a find!

[Wiglaf]

Hire him immediately. A dishwasher who speaks any English is a keeper.

[Ninot]

I like that his first and foremost interest is "getting the job done"

[Kontiki]

I wish him the best of luck in his search for a career in dishwashing.

[Asher]

Originally posted by Wiglaf
Hire him immediately. A dishwasher who speaks any English is a keeper.

Especially in Quebec

[rah]

You've been spammed by the seek_emp_bot.

[-Jrabbit]

LOL. Surprisingly good writing skills, though. I've seen much worse in apps for management positions.

[dudemanjack]

I didn't know you needed a resume to be a dishwasher. Thought you just kind of showed up and as long as there are no current warrants for your arrest you got the job.

Edit: At least that's what it seemed like when I worked in a restaurant.

[snoopy369]

Usually the warrants just have to be at least a year old, and not for anything above grade 3 felony.

[Q Classic]

If he only spoke Spanish, he'd remind of that guy in Fawlty Towers.

[Riesstiu IV]

I speak English!. I learn it from a book!

[Ninot]

Originally posted by dudemanjack
I didn't know you needed a resume to be a dishwasher. Thought you just kind of showed up and as long as there are no current warrants for your arrest you got the job.

Edit: At least that's what it seemed like when I worked in a restaurant.

to be honest, that's pretty much how it is. My boss likes things to be very legal though, so we atleast have to make sure that whoever gets the job has a valid Social Insurance Number.

But in reality, we'll probably hire the first 2 people that applied and answer their phone.

[SlowwHand]

If you hire someone without a valid SS number, you should all be shot.