I guess I wanted someone else to know as well

[Jon Miller]

I Found that could pick me up for a bit, but never solved the problem. Sometimes even made teh problem worse, as time (and money) would go on...

JM

[Pekka]

of course. It's never the answer. It's just a new problem if it's the only thing you have. It costs, it's bad for your health, you get hangover... and you're pushing the problem away but it doesn't disappear. It's a new problem rather than anything else.

But sometiems it just works. LIke right now. I feel totally calm and have that sweet buzz. It's OK though, I drink very few times a year anyway. Just felt like I needed some drinks and beer. It's OK.

I think I won't even drink that much, I just like the calm I already have after 6 beers. I might take like few more and then go to bed when I feel sleepy. And not make this a habit of course. Just needed to calm down a bit. I'll just hang on for the next 5 weeks, have a new start.

[TCO]

Pekka: It's been a while. talk to me about supercitizen. and working out. And pekka heital.

[Pekka]

Oh well.

It goes up and down hard. Very hard.

On the positive note, it's up right now. Very up. I know I'm capable of happiness. I feel happy right now. I think it'll suck in the morning, but right now. **** it. I'm feeling great. Sure, sure, I've been drinking. But not that much. A six pack. I got that buzz going on and AWE¤SOME music from Soma... man I love Soma. They're free too. It's totally great that they're free.

I'm basically almost dancing in the nude, pouring beer on my chest. If there were any chicks in here, I'd have sex with thme right now.

Alas I'm alone but regardless, they'd be had if they were had they be had they would be.

You know, Iw as so happy to hear, one of my friends called because I'm going back to my old hood for the first time this year next weekend.. so I told them I've been feeling like **** and it's all gone to hell for quite some time and I'm not happy, I'm ****ing miserable and totally hating it, I'm sort of not OK... so anyway, I'm going there, and they're having a party for me. I go there Thursday night and I get company from one friend then, thne Friday is activity day, some of ym friends are joining me. It's a surprise,so I don't know hwat it is. And Saturday is a full party day, we'll just eat and get wasted then. Sunday I return here.

You know... they have arranged a whole like... 2 day thing fo rme, with activities one day and one day party, whole day and night.

That feels so nice. So nice. So excellent and nice. I can't even begin to describe how much taht means to me. I've bene wihtout my friends and parties like that for.... this whole yar. Just crap this year hgsas been.

So they're stepping it up for me. You know... That means os much to me. IT means so much to me that I'll tell themjust how much it means to me and then they will be happy about it as well. Friends

[DaShi]

Glad to hear you're feeling better!

[Pekka]

only if it lasted.

[DaShi]

You've got to come down, so you can go up again.

[Kidlicious]

Originally posted by Pekka
only if it lasted.

Does that mean you got depressed now?

[Pekka]

Yes. And I can't get outside the house again. And it feels like this is just the start. I don't know what happens next.

[Kidlicious]

Originally posted by Darius871


I suggest another solution:



mmmm....

Dude, you are morally bankrupt. You're future is not good.

[Pekka]

ok the trouble ahead is riding fast on top of me. I had to go and stock some food, I'm washing my clothes right now and cleaning up. I think the **** is about to hit the fan, I'm preparing and not even realizing it until now. Not a good realization to make. Actually it's creepy. It is not going good, it is going bad. As if it is one of those movies where heroin addicts go and quit cold, stock their ****ty little apartments and just wait. I'¨m doing that preparation phase it seems, I don't have a drug addiction but I wish I could just ride this out in a week or so. I don'¨t know how long this will last, I am afraid, I can't go to work anymore because it's seriously ****ed up now, so... I guess 24/7 is now the only way, ok, have to continue with the preparations, I think I can go to the store once more so get something extra.

Hope I see you soon and ride this one out. May the time pass quickly.

Ta-ta.

[Darius871]

Originally posted by Kidicious


Dude, you are morally bankrupt. You're future is not good.

How so? If you actually take something like that seriously, there's no help for you.

[Kidlicious]

Originally posted by Darius871
If you don't take something like that seriously, there's no help for you.

fixed

[Kidlicious]

Originally posted by Pekka
ok the trouble ahead is riding fast on top of me. I had to go and stock some food, I'm washing my clothes right now and cleaning up. I think the **** is about to hit the fan, I'm preparing and not even realizing it until now. Not a good realization to make. Actually it's creepy. It is not going good, it is going bad. As if it is one of those movies where heroin addicts go and quit cold, stock their ****ty little apartments and just wait. I'¨m doing that preparation phase it seems, I don't have a drug addiction but I wish I could just ride this out in a week or so. I don'¨t know how long this will last, I am afraid, I can't go to work anymore because it's seriously ****ed up now, so... I guess 24/7 is now the only way, ok, have to continue with the preparations, I think I can go to the store once more so get something extra.

Hope I see you soon and ride this one out. May the time pass quickly.

Ta-ta.

Damn Pekka, you are in a pretty bad place right now. You need to stop worrying about the future. Just live for today.

[Alinestra Covelia]

...Pekka...?

How're you doing mate? Are things any better?