I guess I wanted someone else to know as well

[Wezil]

We need a Poly Relief Fund to help our fellow posters in times of need.

If we can build houses...

[Provost Harrison]

Originally posted by Pekka
I've kind of used my credit already. I don't even have 0 money, I have negative money.

ANyways, I hate it when people are inconsiderate on purpose. Just like today, I just asked my co-worker for her battery charger and she threw it at me. You know? She's pissed off at work, hey listen, everyone's got problems, but we all try to behave even if it means being pissed off at the same time. We don't throw things. We ANSWER to questions and we say bye when we leave or good morning, especially when you share the same desk and office.

An effective good mood killer right there.

I've had periods in my life where things have felt really **** and I've had to work. But trust me, no one would ever be able to tell from my professional disposition towards other people. There's never any need to get angry with innocent bystanders.

[Darius871]

Originally posted by Kidicious
fixed

Oh please. I suppose you think rape can't be funny either.

[Pekka]

PH, exactly. Also, that same person, my only co-worker and basically who I thought was my friend pretty much turned the coldest shoulder ever. That is we are not to talk, see or anything. So I'm basically out of my office anyway right about now. Tried to solve it, co-worker doens't want to talk about it. That is doesn't want to solve it. Great.

That's cool, I can't get outside my house anyway. I've been in this ****er ever since I said I've started preparing. I went to a doctor on Monday. Got some sick leave.

That's about it.

But I got a plan. I'm going to escape. I can't take it much longer, I've got no one to talk to face to face, so I'm tired of that as well. No I'm not going to hurt myself or others, I'm just going to destroy all my cards and dump traceable items, change my customer information where ever I'm customer to .. have fun with anyoen who's trying to find me and won't find a single clue. Assume new identity and get it official and simply walk out. I've been thinking about few countries in particular but this information I can't give to anyone. So, if I'm not posting here next week, I guess I'm gone then, physically, mentally and in person to be never found or heard from again.

[EPW]

You can't run away from yourself.

[Pekka]

That's right. I can stay here and continue to have no human contact, no office and no money. I can continue to go to the closet and sit there depressed in the dark. Of course I can stay here and not be able to function. I have 4 choices.

1) go to the hospital
2) continue to sit in this mess and eventually number 1 or 3
3) escape by the way of suicide
4) escape by the way of disappearing. I happen to prefer this option, because I sort of still like myself. I just don't like what my life has become. And it's not just not liking. It's torture. Anyone has a right to their opinion, but unless they've been in a similar situation, I'd suggest they reconsider with their brilliant advices.

[Aeson]

Why is your identity a problem? You can "escape" your job by quitting more easily than you can "escape" your job by quitting and changing your identity, right?

[Pekka]

No I can't. I'd be left with nothing. True, I'd be still left with nothing if I disappear. But that's kind of the point. I want to erase my life and become anew, in a comprehensive way. It's not something I really want to do, I'm desperate and it's a desperate measure. There's no point of talking me out of it. Unless some of the problems improve very soon, I'm out.

[Darius871]

Still, it's not as easy to erase your identity as it used to be, since any normal work and housing takes an SS# or green card. There's only a few **** jobs that pay cash and only a few **** apartments that accept cash, so there'd be no way to survive other than soup kitchens. If option #1 is still available you should take it.

[Jon Miller]

What is coming at your identity that means you need to lose that?

I have a freind who left graduate school... basically the entire 5 years he spent in graduate school was wasted. But he started looking for a job again after a couple months, and found a job that they enjoyed and started working it. And yeah, he started out at the lowest rung, but now he is doing what he wants to. Even if he is getting paid a little bit lower than he should be.

So yeah, you can do it. You can leave what you are doing.. even say that those years were completely wasted and start at a lower position than you would have it you hadn't ever started those years... and begin to build life anew.

There is no need to leave the country or change your identity, unless the government or the mob is after you.

JM

[Jon Miller]

I would suggest start a job you know you can do that pays enough to live on. Make freinds there, most low pay jobs have a lot of opportunity for socialization. And you won't feel so low that you can't go outside.

Another, maybe better option, is to quit work and call a good freind who will allow you to crash with them for 6 months or so. Then go there, and start looking for a job. Once you have a job for a month or two, move out and start your live anew.

JM

[Jon Miller]

Oh, and he was similar to you in that the job and his situation was really depressing him. He did have freinds (and a wife the last year of graduate school), but he would just be so upset about not wanting to be there that he would stay home and not go to work (Sometimes for a week at a time). He had this off and on throughout graduate school (and people had suggested he leave) but had forced himself to stay in and had lucked out with having easy and not stressful advisors.

Him leaving, and starting to do something else (in his case, tester and than programmer at a game porting company) made him a lot happier about work and life in general.

JM

[Pekka]

I'm being misunderstood. I know you people mean good.

[Jon Miller]

I think I understand Pekka, you are a romantic.

JM

[Jon Miller]

Wait, did you sign stuff with your current job saying that you can't work elsewhere for some time?

JM