Old Woman Has Me By the Balls

[BlackCat]

Originally posted by Lancer
I'm considering appearing as a character witness for him.

Don't say that - he may confess in despair

[Lancer]

Or...he might send me a credit card, you never know.

[BlackCat]

I'ts actually strange that noone yet has asked for his bank account and code considering the fact that he probably would post it

[LordShiva]

[Kidlicious]

Originally posted by Darius871
The old lady doesn't have any evidence that Wiglaf hit her car, nor that he gave her the card, nor that he communicated consent for use of the card. The situation is thus the same as in my analogy.

He could lie to the police and tell the police that the card was stolen. But then is he going to tell them that it was her? Then his got to come up with some lie. I'm pretty sure that whatever lie he came up with wouldn't be very good considering his story here.

But fine, let's alter it slightly so that I claim you were compensating me for breaking my chandelier one drunken night, and then I show the police a broken chandelier. Do you really think any experienced investigator - who deals with clever liars day in and day out - would "assume that that very well could be the case" and let me keep my brand new TV? Not a chance.

I assume you mean that you actually stoled my TV, and I reported it to the police. Then you made up the story about the chandelier. Right?

It's pretty strange, cause I guess the TV is set up in your house and stuff so it looks like that. But then if I report it then I must be saying that I saw you steal it and I know you, otherwise why would I know where you live.

Pretty strange, and I would say that if they would tell me that it's a civil matter because we know each other well enought that I know where you live and the TV is set up in your house. I'm probably drunk or stupid or something like that.

[Lancer]

Ethics! Ethics! Ethics!

E t h i c s !

[BlackCat]

While I find it quite funny that Wiggy displays that he neither are able to drive a car, neither are able to handle a credit card, I actually find it a bit scary that people are more concerned about his credit card abilities - not the fact that he actally isn't able to drive a car

[Koyaanisqatsi]

Originally posted by Lancer
Sheriff. Morons.

[Ramo]

LS, you found Wiggy!

[Lancer]

I'd say we need to focus on advising him to do what's right instead of figuring ways he can squirm his way out by whatever comes to mind.

But! This is all BS for fun anyway. I don't buy the whole accident bit.

[Darius871]

Originally posted by Kidicious
He could lie to the police and tell the police that the card was stolen. But then is he going to tell them that it was her? Then his got to come up with some lie. I'm pretty sure that whatever lie he came up with wouldn't be very good considering his story here.

He wouldn't have to say a thing about her. He could just report his card stolen and report that whoever stole it made so-and-so purchases on Amazon.com. After that point the usual investigative process would go into motion and find her independently.

Originally posted by Kidicious
I assume you mean that you actually stoled my TV, and I reported it to the police. Then you made up the story about the chandelier. Right?

Only half-right, so you may need to read again. I did not steal your TV; I stole your credit card and used it to buy a TV online. Like any rational human being you reported that someone stole your card and that a TV purchase from so-and-so website appeared on your statement.

Originally posted by Kidicious
It's pretty strange, cause I guess the TV is set up in your house and stuff so it looks like that. But then if I report it then I must be saying that I saw you steal it and I know you, otherwise why would I know where you live.

Pretty strange, and I would say that if they would tell me that it's a civil matter because we know each other well enought that I know where you live and the TV is set up in your house. I'm probably drunk or stupid or something like that.

The analogy never supposed that we knew each other. From the cop's perspective we could be total strangers and I'm just making up a story trying (unsuccessfully) to keep my ass out of jail.

It could go the same way for Wiglaf. Say tomorrow he reports that "someone" made charges on Amazon.com with his card and a cursory record search finds the woman through her shipping address. An investigator shows up at her house and finds the items purchased, but she says "no no wait, that kid gave me the card as compensation for his crashing into my car, with the mutual understanding that I could buy as much stuff as I want until he'd get the chance to cancel the card!" and the only evidence to back up her incredible story is some damage to her fender which could have come from anywhere. The investigator then talks to Wiglaf who says "I've never met this person in my life, but I sure as hell want to press charges!"

Who would a cop (or prosecutor and jury for that matter) believe when applying Occam's Razor to the facts above? Someone found in possession of property purchased fraudulently with a paper trail leading straight to her, or someone who simply reported his card stolen? Definitely the latter, especially when you consider that the lady's story is not corroborated by any evidence whatsoever, and that it's just plain absurd anyway. I mean, what kind of idiot would actually give someone their credit card to keep them quiet about a car accident, and then report the fraudulent charges to boot? It's too laughable a proposition for the cop to even give it a second thought.

With that in mind, I'll go against the majority and posit that Wiglaf is in fact an unparalleled genius and had this all planned out from the beginning. If he now just takes the next step, he could actually land someone in jail for getting in the way of his car.

[Kataphraktoi]

@OP:WTF

but major kudos if you land this person in the slammer

[Kidlicious]

Originally posted by Darius871
He wouldn't have to say a thing about her. He could just report his card stolen and report that whoever stole it made so-and-so purchases on Amazon.com. After that point the usual investigative process would go into motion and find her independently.

That's a criminal case based on a falsified report.

Only half-right, so you may need to read again. I did not steal your TV; I stole your credit card and used it to buy a TV online. Like any rational human being you reported that someone stole your card and that a TV purchase from so-and-so website appeared on your statement.

The analogy never supposed that we knew each other. From the cop's perspective we could be total strangers and I'm just making up a story trying (unsuccessfully) to keep my ass out of jail.

It could go the same way for Wiglaf. Say tomorrow he reports that "someone" made charges on Amazon.com with his card and a cursory record search finds the woman through her shipping address. An investigator shows up at her house and finds the items purchased, but she says "no no wait, that kid gave me the card as compensation for his crashing into my car, with the mutual understanding that I could buy as much stuff as I want until he'd get the chance to cancel the card!" and the only evidence to back up her incredible story is some damage to her fender which could have come from anywhere. The investigator then talks to Wiglaf who says "I've never met this person in my life, but I sure as hell want to press charges!"

Who would a cop (or prosecutor and jury for that matter) believe when applying Occam's Razor to the facts above? Someone found in possession of property purchased fraudulently with a paper trail leading straight to her, or someone who simply reported his card stolen? Definitely the latter, especially when you consider that the lady's story is not corroborated by any evidence whatsoever, and that it's just plain absurd anyway. I mean, what kind of idiot would actually give someone their credit card to keep them quiet about a car accident, and then report the fraudulent charges to boot? It's too laughable a proposition for the cop to even give it a second thought.

With that in mind, I'll go against the majority and posit that Wiglaf is in fact an unparalleled genius and had this all planned out from the beginning. If he now just takes the next step, he could actually land someone in jail for getting in the way of his car.

There's probably damage to Wiglaf's car don't you think. At least some paint. Police aren't stupid. They deal with idiots like this. I wouldn't try it if I were Wiggy. It's not worth it. He could get himself in real trouble. But I'll be glad to read all about it here on Poly.

[Darius871]

Originally posted by Kidicious

That's a criminal case based on a falsified report.

So? The argument was that it would remain a criminal case and not become a civil dispute, which appeared to be our point of contention.

Originally posted by Kidicious
There's probably damage to Wiglaf's car don't you think. At least some paint. Police aren't stupid. They deal with idiots like this. I wouldn't try it if I were Wiggy. It's not worth it. He could get himself in real trouble. But I'll be glad to read all about it here on Poly.

If Wiggy's as smart as I think he is, he'll obviously have his fender painted, repaired, or replaced (depending on the level of damage) prior to reporting the charges. After that point he's bulletproof.

I'm all for him giving that wretched old witch the punishment she deserves.

[Kidlicious]

Originally posted by Darius871
So? The argument was that it would remain a criminal case and not become a civil dispute, which appeared to be our point of contention.

WTF? It wouldn't start out as a criminal case unless someone gave a false report to police. Our point of contention was whether it was a civil or criminal case if based on the assumption that both parties were truthfull. Adding that someone gives a false report totally changes things, of course.

If Wiggy's as smart as I think he is, he'll obviously have his fender painted, repaired, or replaced (depending on the level of damage) prior to reporting the charges. After that point he's bulletproof.

I'm all for him giving that wretched old witch the punishment she deserves.