Have you ever been unfaithful?

[Arrian]

Well, I didn't say they weren't sexual, exactly. But my bestfriend loves taking pictures of herself (mm vanity) and likes sending them to me, and in some of the pictures she happens not to be wearing much clothing.

And you think you have no chance of ****ing her?

This is why:

I know so many nerds/geeks who have been through similar situations.

Because we sell ourselves short.

-Arrian

[Kidlicious]

Originally posted by Lorizael


Well, I didn't say they weren't sexual, exactly. But my bestfriend loves taking pictures of herself (mm vanity) and likes sending them to me, and in some of the pictures she happens not to be wearing much clothing.

Dude have you at least told her how much you've always wanted to **** her. I think she would like you to tell her. Then she wont do things like send you pictures of you naked.

[Dinner]

Originally posted by Spec
The mistake is:
Voluntarily coming clean about this fact does not make it any better.

But not telling her would be like lying.



Spec.

Sometimes secrets are good. Just ask yourself if telling her will help or not and if the anwser is no then get rid of the pictures or at least stash them some where she'll never find them then don't mention them.

[MOBIUS]

Originally posted by Kidicious
Dude have you at least told her how much you've always wanted to **** her. I think she would like you to tell her. Then she wont do things like send you pictures of you naked.

Yeah, talk about

[Dinner]

Likely, she wants him too and that's why she's sending naked pictures.

[Lorizael]

Originally posted by Arrian
Funny, I thought the same thing once. Classic case of girl likes boy, boy doesn't know it, boy misses opportunity, girl moves on, boy is *then* smitten...

But then, years later, she came to visit me up at college. I was, at that moment, unattached. She comes out with "I wish I'd been with you after all" and makes it pretty clear that we could make up for lost time if I wanted to. I didn't, though, and that was that.

-Arrian

My bestfriend is stunningly honest with me. It's hard to describe this in a way that other people believe.

But anyways, the point is that I know she doesn't and never did want me in a romantic sense.

I also know that she believes the only difference between her friendship with me and relationships she's had with people she's been in love with is that there's no sex with us.

I also know that she doesn't really know why she isn't actually attracted to me, except that she thinks she might fear a relationship with me for various reasons.

Bleh. Where's all this coming from.

[Arrian]

get rid of the pictures or at least stash them some where she'll never find them then don't mention them.

Only the first option is any good. Stashing them "where she'll never find them" is the fool's option, IMO.

-Arrian

[Spec]

Originally posted by MOBIUS


OK, I'll compare:

Spec is a moron.

MOBIUS is not.

Welcome to kinder garden debating 101.

Spec.

[Lorizael]

Originally posted by Kidicious
Dude have you at least told her how much you've always wanted to **** her. I think she would like you to tell her. Then she wont do things like send you pictures of you naked.

Oh, I told her that years ago. Even made a thread about it. GP thought I was a *****.

[MOBIUS]

Originally posted by Spec

Welcome to kinder garden debating 101.

Spec.

Well, I did have to bring it down to a level little Speccy could understand...

[Arrian]

I also know that she believes the only difference between her friendship with me and relationships she's had with people she's been in love with is that there's no sex with us.

I also know that she doesn't really know why she isn't actually attracted to me, except that she thinks she might fear a relationship with me for various reasons.

Mmmhmm. If push came to shove, she might very well realize she does want you. Push coming to shove = some recognition that she could lose you.

You may want to seriously consider explaining that, so sorry, but you cannot continue like this. Too painful for you. Gotta move on.

One of two things will happen:

1) Friendship ends. Pain, misery... but those fade with time and you get on with your life.

2) She comes to her senses and jumps you.

-Arrian

[Dinner]

I imagine if you acted more like a potential boyfriend and less like a best friend then she'd come around to the idea. Open doors for her, offer to pick up tabs, go on long walks, playfully flirt with her, etc...

[Arrian]

But also cease being a doormat about certain things. Like the pictures...

Get mad about it, for goodness sake! She's taunting you, man!

-Arrian

[Kidlicious]

Originally posted by Lorizael


Oh, I told her that years ago. Even made a thread about it. GP thought I was a *****.

I don't think you are ready for a relationship, and shouldn't be in one. You might be hooked on your 'best friend' so that you can not get hooked on someone who is available. You need to completely get over this women first and start thinking about what you really want from women and where you see yourself in the future. I think Arrian is giving yoiu some good advice.

[Arrian]

I know, 'cause I've been there.

-Arrian