deaf chicks?

[Ben Kenobi]

I don't know though, maybe deaf girls usually want to date deaf men, I don't know. Because maybe they have better ways to communicate because they are more used to it, like I'm a total newbie so I would have to learn how to express myself better and read other people..

Yes, reading emotions is a big thing since we can't always rely on hearing things. Leads to some interesting conversations when we get it wrong.

In my case, I couldn't imagine wanting to be with another deaf girl. There are so many things we would have in common, but for myself I'd rather have someone who could hear who was willing to put up with me.

If you want to meet a girl who doesn't hear, and you want to make a big impression, there are a variety of things you can do.

First of all, treat her exactly like you would any other beautiful girl. All her life she's heard stuff from other people about her being deaf. I know this might sound insensitive, but trust me, if you treat her just like someone who is a beautiful girl who can hear, that will help.

Secondly, be patient. She's going to miss things and mess up and feel bad. She's going to annoy you and anger you and sometimes not even understand why.

Third, try to make things easier on her. If she wears hearing aids, as I do, you get tired after awhile of just listening. It really drains you throughout the day, since you have to focus on just what a person is saying rather then the amplified sounds all around you. She'll appreciate it if you don't really feel like talking and especially if you let her take her aids off and still talk for awhile.

I just genuinely think that sinc ewe wouldn't talk with out mouths, unless she can read lips so I'd talk some, the actual communication would be much richer in other ways. I mean, if you could find someone that you cared for and she cared for you, there would be a bond that couldn't be trashed, because it's just too strong.

Well, you would be genuinely surprised at how well some deaf folks speak. Chances are if they are interested in hearing folks, they will speak just fine even if they are reading lips. The above is the biggest stuff for accommodation that will be appreciated.

[Ben Kenobi]

We have people here who have some hearing problems, so would I want to offend them by making stupid jokes? No. Absolutely not.

I'm interested to see how love life and special ways of communication would make the relationship deeper.

Well I guess I have to agree with the strong bonds part. I don't know about making the other person feel special in the lovemaking so I'm rather unhelpful there. Haven't been there.

I do say though that you can form a rather intense bond, but I don't see that as something particular for deaf folks.

[Dinner]

Originally posted by Ben Kenobi
In my case, I couldn't imagine wanting to be with another deaf girl.

That's just because you haven't looked at the benifets.

[Ben Kenobi]

No that's because I see the benefits of having a gal who can hear.

For starters they can play their music and you get to listen to all sorts of new stuff.

Opens up a different perspective that's for sure!

[Dinner]

Who wants to hear that crap?

[Ben Kenobi]

I do.

Things are different when you can't hear. Good music is more sweeter when you come across it.

Maybe your problem is you just need to find gals with better taste in music.

[Pekka]

Yeah Ben but you see, it's a cultural thing here, not talking. It's like, I can go somewhere in a car with my good friend adn not talk for the whole trip, even if it took us 2 hours. And we would not feel uncomfortable. We like to give each other some space (like Japanese do, to avoid uncomfortable..), so while some people think it's bad manners or being too inactive or even rude for not making an effort, we actually appreciate it (like Japanese do). It means nothing, it has no hidden meanings, it's silence, period. If I have nothing to say, good, then I don't have to talk.

So... just not talking is fine and great for me, even for longer periods of time. Walking and not talking is even better, I think it's stupid to walk and talk, if you're going for a walk. You can talk later. But if I go for a walk, I'd like to appreciate where I'm at and the moment.

So that wouldn't be a problem. Trust me, it would definitely be a PLUS!!

Also, if someone has to concentrate a lot while reading lips or trying to hear with them aid things, you know what's the point, like you said, it must wear someone out fast, it's like I really would need glasses for class.. because I don't see too good, so when I have been 'twisting my eyes' for an hour or two, my head already hurts and I don't feel like going back to class, and after few hours I get really tired, plus then it's even more difficult to see.

So, I would understand that when you have to really concentrate.. it's just not that simple, it's demanding physically.

One thing I didn't know is how to impress them girls. Don't worry though, I try to be as normal as I can, because I know that many people with disabilities, like people who can't walk and stuff... I can imagine sitting in that chair myself, and everyone being 'oooh look at that poor man'.. wtf? Look at yourself you idiot, I'm having a life so why you have to interrupt mine with your 'caring for me'.

It's like people don't know how to act. They are like 'don't look at him, he's been ridiculed enough in his life so just ignore them' or 'be nice to them, you have to show compassion'.

I think I'd get more tired of the compassion myself. You know, don't ignore, don't be the cutest person in the world, just be the person you are so.. yeah, I think that wasn't too difficult .. are there any other things you can do to impress except treat them like everyone else?

And hey, when you say it's going to be annoying at times, and she's going to miss things and be upset.. I don't care, I think that makes it all the more better. Why? Because that's showing something, emotions etc.. you know, you can help and she can help you, that's partnership. I'd rather go for different things like that than the usual 'yeah shut up and make me cookies!!'.

It's like this.. I'd imagine that is... if someone said to you that you suck and you should go away, it would suck, right? But if that someone wouldn't say that to you but would express it to you, that would hurt so much more (I mean not an idiot in the street but someone who can express themselves better like that) ... and same thing when they tell you they like you, transmitting that emotion through common language that is universal and between the two people. So much stronger I feel like.

Am I serious? Yes and no. I'm not actively going to look for deaf girls, besides they would think I'm weirdo stalker. But if I just had the opportunity, I wouldn't hesitate. Meaning I like the girl of course...

[Dis]

I just realized something. Pekka is weird. .

[Dinner]

Took you long enough.

[Pekka]

It's like.-... I mean have you guys ever been outside your country, chatting up girls just for information or flirting or stuff like that, and neither of you spoke any common language? It's just so much hotter, because you tend to show more that you are interested and stuff.. it's like automatic human behaviour. Because you can't camoflague anything by words, so you tend to smile more and read the other person, and if they are interested, it's way more fun that way...

I mean, to be honest, I think I'd be more interested in a foreign deaf girl than finnish.. I don't know why. It would be better for communication if the girl was also foreign, but from similar culture so it wouldn't be totally out of control.

[Monk]

Yes Pekka, listen carefully.

Before embarking on your voyage into the Deaf Zone, consider the possibility of dating a girl who's been lip-reading all her life and as such could know about anything you say, even from distances where the rest of us wouldn't have a clue.

If you're still interested, I have a beautiful cousin in her early twenties and a grumpy grandfather, both of whom are severely hearing-impaired. Now let's see how much of a sicko you are.

[Dis]

Originally posted by Oerdin
I'm afraid reenacting German shizer porn would still be out though. Unless of course she had also lost her sense of smell.

Or you could get a a perfect Helen Keller who was deaf, blind, and had no smell then you'd have the perfect woman. No more worrying about how you dress, no more worrying if she'll smell your farts, and you could do just about any sex act without a care.

I actually had to look up what shizer porn was. I wish I hadn't.

[Pekka]

Haha that would be weird but in other ways.. like, what if we really liked each other? I mean me and your cousin, because I'm not into grumpy grandpas in romantic ways..

.. we might be in the same family! Wow... can you imagine that? We'd still be fighting here every other night. Would make some great battles after that.. it would get personal!!

Besides, why do you talk like that considering they are your family man.. and why is it me that has to be weird for having interest to experience other kind of relationships? It's nothing but different, and it would be different in good ways and bad ways, but I think the goods outweigh the bads.. like for example the connection would be stronger, this is how I'd see, of course I have no experience.

It's like I sometimes try to make little babies laugh from a distance, babies that I don't know. If they notice me for some reason, I try to do something to get reaction. Like I might try to smile at them, so they smile back.. then I try to make them laugh by doing something silly, but so subtle that no one else should notice. Now, that baby and myself are strangers and in different level in every single way, but it's way more fun. Because we have a connection, the baby and I, in a different setting. This is to compare going next to the baby and chatting them up 'ooo cutie cutie smoochy boochies..'.. nah.. forget that.

And that baby can be foreign too! I don't care.. we don't need to talk in order to communicate.

[Dis]

I think I'd be more into blind chicks. Though they'd require more maintenance to help them get around. But they aren't likely to care if you get jizz in their hair. And it helps if you aren't the best looking guy around. Why would they care?

[Pekka]

But maybe there is some unconscious immature levels too, like the urge to protect someone. You know, because today, you can't be protective over a girl, and I don't mean 'stop looking at my gf!'-idiotism but just in general.. or be a gentleman either, they open their own doors and if you try to do something like that, you're more likely a dork than showing effort. Or sexist.

So maybe there's a need for being someone who also protects and defends against possible difficulties that comes about. This can't be ruled out.

Or maybe I'm just looking for a reason to beat up some punks again.. and I need a deaf gf for that, so that when someone insults her, I can hit first and nearly kill them and 'be right'.. I don't know. I should go back to fighting anyway. I mean the gym, nothing else.