How easily can you get a date with a woman (or man)?

[Son of David]

Anglo-Saxon females must be too demanding?

[Dis]

Originally posted by nostromo


QFT

Dis, dating isn't rocket science, you know...

it seems like it. Yeah I could randomly ask girls out. But if I can't even get eye contact with them, it seems silly to ask them out. Most women will not make eye contact with me. I know I should smile more. And yes I have been working on that. I met a girl the other day, and I smiled at her and was real friendly with her. But she had a ring on her finger. But it's good practice.

[Dis]

Originally posted by Son of David
Anglo-Saxon females must be too demanding?

haha. Well there is this saying about american women... I don't want to say it with Playful in this thread. .

The two women I've been interested in lately have been a german-american, and a mexican-american. But the first one has just turned into a good friendship. And I'm happy about that. It's nice to discuss emotional issues with someone. You can't exactly talk about emotions with guys.

I have nothing against american women. If I could get one, I would be happy with that. But many of them have unreasonable expectations of men.

[Flubber]

Originally posted by Dis


it seems like it. Yeah I could randomly ask girls out. But if I can't even get eye contact with them, it seems silly to ask them out.

I'm not advocating asking RANDOM girls out. . . but just as soon as there is a girl you know something about where you think a date might be fun . . . ASK. I would be concerned about people failing to make eye contact though. Are you intimidating? Or are you trying so hard for eye contact that you appear to be staring.


Instead of trying for an intrusive looking eye-lock with an unknown potential target, find a reason to speak to her . . . ie

"Excuse me .. . I was wondering if you know where the Danois Cafe is? I am supposed to be meeting a buddy there in a few minutes"

This technique is even better if you actually know that the Danois cafe is in the very direction she happens to be walking. Then you have a few moments to make small talk-- If you know that you will see her around again you can leave it at that or there's the go-for-broke method

"Thanks for showing me the way. Hey I don't mean to seem forward but I don't know very many people and I was wondering if you'd be interested in meeting up and going for lunch"

Totally non-threatening-- suggesting a lunch in the area and environment where she has already seen you
etc etc


I'm an old married fart now but when I was dating I found that a forthright honest approach generally worked. It didn't always work but then again I never expected that it would.

[Urban Ranger]

Originally posted by Dis
the problem with that I encounter is I enter the "just friends" category, and have no hope of a romantic relationship.

I know there's some kind of transition you must do, and you have to do it early. I just don't know how to do it.

You don't have to do it early.

Though being bold is a plus. I remember talking to a girl I barely knew, and she suddenly just grabbed my hand. The rest is history.

[Urban Ranger]

Originally posted by Dis
Now I have this other woman I'm into (actually I've been into her since December). She's a coworker. The problem is she has a boyfriend and 2 kids.

Into? Say no more!

[Dis]

in my dreams. I'm actually more attracted to her than the german-american girl. I have a hard time talking to the mexican american without becoming aroused (pun intended).

Like I said, from the beginning I knew I'd be friends with the german. Even though I have had sexual thoughts about her. But the mexican american. Well, she just excites me in another way.

[Dis]

The only caveat is I'm not sure about my looks. I'm not a very attractive guy. And I'm still not sure how important looks are to women. I'm not sure what kind of girl I can get. The girl I'm talking about is pretty. She's kind of short though, and has a few extra pounds. But still looks damn good for having 2 kids. I'm only talking a few extra pounds. No more than 10 or 15. A small scar about her eyes, and a few other facial blemishes. Her teeth aren't all that great. She grew up poor I'm sure, no access to expensive dentistry. That is my case as well. I'm just not sure I have a shot with a girl that pretty. But as I said, she probably wouldn't be considered hot or beautiful. But cute.

[Urban Ranger]

Don't worry about your looks.

1. You can't really change it, and
2. Most women don't care about it all that much

[Gibsie]

Well, they care, but in the context that they can make it easier to pick a girl up, but not having the looks won't ruin it for you.

I suggest going for girls that are single. Come on, you're a man, not a teenager, you're allowed to ask women out on dates. Pretend you're Seinfeld.

[Nostromo]

Don't worry about your looks.

1. You can't really change it, and
2. Most women don't care about it all that much

I agree, he shouldn't worry about his looks. But it doesn't mean he shouldn't care how he looks. Sorry to state the obvious, but if you look clean, have a nice haircut and dress sharp, everything gets a a lot easier. For one, you're more confident. If you have lame glasses, an ugly Linux T-shirt, an ugly haircut, if you're wearing sweatpants, you're pretty much doomed, even if you look like George Clooney.

[MOBIUS]

I have to say for me it's effortless: Must be my combination of intelligence, good looks and maturity...

All quite a waste really seeing as I'm already taken - I've had to turn down a couple of advances this month alone.

[Spiffor]

Dis: I saw your pics, and you're not ugly. With a little grooming, your looks will pose you no problem whatsoever.

I've felt fairly ugly for most of my life, and I started grooming about a year ago. I now feel quite beautiful, and it seriously boosts my self-esteem. I recommand it

[Nostromo]

Grooming

[Spiffor]