Are you fat?

[Krill]

For people who don't get what nye said...it is from a scene in Monty Python's' the Meaning of Life...

[Clapping.]

[Mr Creosote enters.]

First Fish: [in tank] Oh ****! It's Mr creosote.

[All the fish disappear with six flicks of the tail.]

Maitre D: Ah good afternoon, sir, and how are we today?

Mr Creosote: Better...

Maitre D: Better?

Mr Creosote: Better get a bucket, I'm going to throw up.

Maitre D: Gaston! A bucket for monsieur!

[They seat him at his usual table. A gleaming silver
bucket is placed beside him and he leans over and throws
up into it.]

Maitre D: Merci Gaston.

[He claps his hands and the bucket is whisked away.]

Mr Creosote: I haven't finished!

Maitre D: Oh! Pardon! Gaston!... A thousand pardons monsieur. [Puts
the bucket back.]

[The Maitre D produces the menu as Mr Creosote continues
spewing.]

Maitre D: Now this afternoon we monsieur's favourite - the jugged
hare. The hare is *very* high, and the sauce is very rich with
truffles, anchovies, Grand Marnier, bacon and cream.

[Mr Creosote pauses. The Maitre D claps his hands and
signs to Gaston, who whisks away the bucket.]

Maitre D: Thank you, Gaston.

Mr Creosote: There's still more.

[Gaston rapidly replaces the bucket.]

Maitre D: Allow me! A new bucket for monsieur.

[The Maitre D picks the bucket up and hands it over to
Gaston. Mr Creosote leans over and throws up onto the
floor.]

And the cleaning woman.

[Gaston hurries off. The Maitre D takes care to avoid the
vomit and places the menu in front of Mr Creosote.]

And maintenant, would monsieur care for an aperitif?

[Creosote vomits over the menu. It is covered.]

Or would you prefer to order straight away? Today for
appetizers... er... excuse me...

[The Maitre D leans over and wipes away the sick with his
hand so that the words of the menu are readable.]

... moules marinieres, pate de foie gras, beluga caviar, eggs
Benedictine, tart de poireaux - that's leek tart - frogs' legs
amandine or oeufs de caille Richard Shepherd - c'est a dire,
little quails' eggs on a bed of pureed mushrooms, it's very
delicate, very subtle...

Mr Creosote: I'll have the lot.

Maitre D: A wise choice, monsieur! And now, how would you like it
served? All mixed up in a bucket?

Mr Creosote: Yes. With the eggs on top.

Maitre D: But of course, avec les oeufs frites.

Mr Creosote: And don't skimp on the pate.

Maitre D: Oh monsieur I can assure you, just because it is mixed up
with all the other things we would not dream of giving you
less than the full amount. In fact I will personally make sure
you have a *double* helping. Maintenant quelque chose a
boire - something to drink, monsieur?

Mr Creosote: Yeah, six bottles of Chateau Latour '45 and a double
Jeroboam of champagne.

Maitre D: Bon, and the usual brown ales...?

Mr Creosote: Yeah... No wait a minute... I think I can only manage
six crates today.

Maitre D: Tut tut tut! I hope monsieur was not overdoing it last
night...?

Mr Creosote: Shut up!

Maitre D: D'accord. Ah the new bucket and the cleaning woman.

[Gaston arrives. The Cleaning Woman gets down on her
hands and knees. Mr Creosote vomits over her.]

[Some guests at another table start to leave. The
Maitre D approaches.]

Maitre D: Monsieur, is there something wrong with the food?

[The Maitre D indicates the table of half-eaten main
courses. The guests shrink from his vomit-covered hand.
The Maitre D realises and shakes a little off. It hits
another guest, who wipes his eye.]

Guest: No. The food was... excellent...

Maitre D: Perhaps you are not happy with the service?

Guest: Er no... no... no complaints.

Guest's Wife: It's just we have to go - um - I'm having rather a
heavy period.

[A slight embarrassed silence while the rest of the party
look at her.]

Guest: And... we... have a train to catch.

Guest's Wife: [as if covering for her previous gaffe] Oh! Yes!
Yes... of course! We have a train to catch... and I don't want
to start bleeding over the seats.

[An awkward pause. The Maitre D gropes for words.]

Guest: Perhaps we should ne going...

[They start to go. The Maitre D follows.]

Maitre D: Very well, monsieur. Thank you so much, so nice to see
you and I hope very much we will see you again very soon. Au
revoir, monsieur.

[He pauses. A look of awful realization suffuses his
face.]

Maitre D: ... Oh dear... I've trodden in monsieur's bucket.

[The Maitre D claps his hands.]

Another bucket for monsieur...

[Mr Creosote is sick down the Maitre D's trousers.]

and perhaps a hose...

[Someone at another table gently throws up.]

Companion: Oh Max, really!

[At another table someone else has really thrown up all
over the place. His mother and brother look at him
incredulously. Meanwhile Mr Creosote has scoffed the lot.
The Maitre D approaches him with a silver tray.]

Maitre D: And finally, monsieur, a wafer-thin mint.

Mr Creosote: No.

Maitre D: Oh sir! It's only a tiny little thin one.

Mr Creosote: No. **** off - I'm full... [Belches]

Maitre D: Oh sir... it's only *wafer* thin.

Mr Creosote: Look - I couldn't eat another thing. I'm absolutely
stuffed. Bugger off.

Maitre D: Oh sir, just... just *one*...

Mr Creosote: Oh all right. Just one.

Maitre D: Just the one, sir... voila... bon appetit...

[Mr Creosote somehow manages to stuff the wafer-thin mint
into his mouth and then swallows. The Maitre D takes a
flying leap and cowers behind some potted plants. There
is an ominous splitting sound. Mr Creosote looks rather
helpless and then he explodes, covering waiters, diners,
and technicians in a truly horrendous mix of half
digested food, entrails and parts of his body. People
start vomiting.]

Maitre D: [returns to Mr Creosote's table] Thank you, sir, and now
the check.

[Ecthy]

Originally posted by Snotty
6'5'' 108 kilos or 238 pounds. I know for sure at least 1 stone (but no more than 2) of that is uneccesary fat though

This sounds like you're a porker, which you're obviously not!

[Axxaer]

Originally posted by Krill
6'5'' so about 195 cm, and about 9 1/2 stone, so around 60 Kg. And age 17 to boot...

Axxaer, you sure you weren't seperated at birth? :P

"Long lost twins meet through internet forum!"

[Pekka]

Guys, don't look at the BMI. If you work out, you are most likely overweight according to it. It has no flexibility at all, I mean it doesn't take real life into account. YOu'd have to call most outgoing athletes fat according to that index.

My rule of thumb for normal people has always been the ever flexible height - 100. That means, if you are 190cm, then around 90kg is normal weight. If it's 100kg, it can still be normal. Some people just are heavier without being fat.
But that's my rule of thumb.

Am I fat? No. I work out few times a week these days, I used to work out 5 times a week and I played competitive sports until I was 16, working out almost every day in decent level. Then I picked up fighting, I worked out 3 times a week (but more correctly) and gained my peak condition cardio, strength and explosiveness wise. Then I quit it all, gained a lot of weight very fast, became a bit of a fatty boy, entered the army, and magically I lost the weight but became .. urmh.. I could have used some of that body fat. I'm a fairly big guy so it kills you at some point if you are drained. Due to all the humping and running and ****. No good work out basically for me. Then I got out of the army, started eating again like a human, didn't feel like doing anything since I spent the last 12 months with my balls on the ground (or snow), so I gained weight back some, then started working out again, picked up fighting again. Now I'm in average condition according Pekka-index, however I'm not happy with it. Not that I'd like to lose weight, it's just that I'd like to gain some of that cardio and explosiveness back. I feel my training is not motivated at all so I rarely bother doing the right things and modifying my work out program and my nutrition is in the ****ters, like the worst kind you could have, typical poor student nutrition.

[Axxaer]

Originally posted by Pekka
Guys, don't look at the BMI. If you work out, you are most likely overweight according to it. It has no flexibility at all, I mean it doesn't take real life into account. YOu'd have to call most outgoing athletes fat according to that index.

My rule of thumb for normal people has always been the ever flexible height - 100. That means, if you are 190cm, then around 90kg is normal weight. If it's 100kg, it can still be normal. Some people just are heavier without being fat.
But that's my rule of thumb.

Am I fat? No. I work out few times a week these days, I used to work out 5 times a week and I played competitive sports until I was 16, working out almost every day in decent level. Then I picked up fighting, I worked out 3 times a week (but more correctly) and gained my peak condition cardio, strength and explosiveness wise. Then I quit it all, gained a lot of weight very fast, became a bit of a fatty boy, entered the army, and magically I lost the weight but became .. urmh.. I could have used some of that body fat. I'm a fairly big guy so it kills you at some point if you are drained. Due to all the humping and running and ****. No good work out basically for me. Then I got out of the army, started eating again like a human, didn't feel like doing anything since I spent the last 12 months with my balls on the ground (or snow), so I gained weight back some, then started working out again, picked up fighting again. Now I'm in average condition according Pekka-index, however I'm not happy with it. Not that I'd like to lose weight, it's just that I'd like to gain some of that cardio and explosiveness back. I feel my training is not motivated at all so I rarely bother doing the right things and modifying my work out program and my nutrition is in the ****ters, like the worst kind you could have, typical poor student nutrition.

BMI isn't a measure of how fat you are, it is a measure of whether your weight is 'normal' for your height. That is why it doesn't say fat and skinny but 'overweight' and 'underweight', there are distinct differences. Almost all bodybuilders are extremely overweight.

[Pekka]

Yeah. I know it doesn't measure body fat. I used the word fat meaning weight. Thus BMI has no idea.

[Axxaer]

Originally posted by Pekka
Yeah. I know it doesn't measure body fat. I used the word fat meaning weight. Thus BMI has no idea.

Please tell me in what way this equation doesn't factor in weight:

Weight in Kilograms / (Height in Meters)^2

???

It gives you weight relative to height and nothing more or less. It is nothing to do with fatness. I'm not saying the BMI means anything, its just a way of comparing relative weights compared to heights.

[Thrawn05]

I choose forklift only because that was so damn funny.

I got a nice belly, but that's because I can't really workout 'cause of some really nasty cut nerves that weren't supposed to be cut in surgery many years ago. So I pace walk for an 30 to 60 minutes a day.



EDIT: Grammer check.

[Pekka]

Axxar, AAAAAAAAAAAARGH! I have answered to this already I won't bother going into debate over words and semantics.

[Last Conformist]

Actually, BMI is supposed to be a predictor (not measure) or body fat percentage.

The odd thing with BMI is that it assumes that taller people should be more gracile. Common sense would have us expect they'd be more robustly built, and I think experience bears that out.

[Axxaer]

Originally posted by Pekka
Axxar, AAAAAAAAAAAARGH! I have answered to this already I won't bother going into debate over words and semantics.

Ok np Probably just a misunderstanding as usual

[Leifmk]

Originally posted by Pekka
Guys, don't look at the BMI. If you work out, you are most likely overweight according to it. It has no flexibility at all, I mean it doesn't take real life into account. YOu'd have to call most outgoing athletes fat according to that index.

Yeah. Also, the BMI standard assumes people fit on a curve where taller people have porportionally more slender frames than shorter ones (since it is body mass over the *square* of height). Which may be true statistically but breaks for a lot of individuals, including me.

[Pekka]

Axxaer, No just that I have a feeling where this would be going and I think we do both mean the same thing, it's just that I used the word fat inappropriately. My bad.

[Japher]

I'm fat.

October 2004 I quit smoking and gained 40 pounds, putting me at 220 pounds. 180 was ideal for me. January 2005 I started the atkins diet and lost 15 pounds in the first 2 months. Then, wifey got pregnant, which made it hard to diet since she needed to increase her intake. I am now at 190 pounds and hoping to shed another 10-15. I have cut sugar out of my diet almost completely and regulate my carbs to around 100g/day.

Once I get my debt settled I will join a gym.

[Axxaer]

Originally posted by Pekka
Axxaer, No just that I have a feeling where this would be going and I think we do both mean the same thing, it's just that I used the word fat inappropriately. My bad.

Ok sorry you just answered something I PM'd you. Mindreader!

But yeah, I think we can all agree that the BMI system is not a way to tell if you're fat or not.