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when i was young.. i was a virgin till i married. a commitment made by me and yes in a religious context. but you have to see in the whole sence of when that was.. back in the late 60's and 70's when everyone was in the middle of the free sex revolution.. i was one of a few virgins i knew at the time.
most were not.
I don't think things are much different now than back then. I don't know of any of my guy friends who have held off.
Scouse Git (2)La Fayette Adam SmithSolomwi and Loinburger will not be forgotten.
"Remember the night we broke the windows in this old house? This is what I wished for..."
2015 APOLYTON FANTASY FOOTBALL CHAMPION!
Who cares about sex. If someone doesn't want to have sex except with their future husbands/wives, so what. Let them. It's their choice. Their body and stuff.
The fact is, if it's for religious or what ever other reasons, they are not likely going to enjoy sex before getting married, because it woudl be thinking 'oh now I'm breaking my promise' etc other negative feelings. IF it doesn't come naturally, the good feeling, wanting to have sex without any doubts, then well.. what's the point. Sex is supposed to be fun. So if the chances are it won't be fun, why do it anyway.
So those folks, better keep their minds and have sex with their married partners. That works for them.
What's so bad about it. I don't get it.
In da butt.
"Do not worry if others do not understand you. Instead worry if you do not understand others." - Confucius
THE UNDEFEATED SUPERCITIZEN w:4 t:2 l:1 (DON'T ASK!)
"God is dead" - Nietzsche. "Nietzsche is dead" - God.
So it's only the folks who have no respect for themselves who wait? Maybe they want a husband rather than a 'boyfriend', and feel that the best way to get what they want is to wait for one.
I love the strawman. Did you miss the part where I told boann the middle is the place to be? But yes, I fear that those who stick to abstinence until marriage don't have respect for themselves, just like those who'll screw everything that moves.
They won't trust their own judgment, but will conform.
If you're stuck with a boyfriend, then there's not much chance of getting a marriage out of it, if the boyfriend has everything he wants without one.
My God you are clueless! Yeah, because no one has ever gotten married when the had sex before marriage. Nope... the boyfriend had everything he wanted without the marriage and marriage never came. What world do you live in Ben?
As for conforming to the Christian model, I'd think the pressure to conform works more the other way. After all, isn't it just the way the world works nowadays?
When women who have sex even a few times are called sluts, I think there is still massive pressure to conform to the Christian model... especially if you belong to a strongly Christian family or live in a stongly Christian society (like the Southeastern US).
“I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”
- John 13:34-35 (NRSV)
So? I express my love far more strongly than that. I'm afraid you are short sighted.
In da butt.
"Do not worry if others do not understand you. Instead worry if you do not understand others." - Confucius
THE UNDEFEATED SUPERCITIZEN w:4 t:2 l:1 (DON'T ASK!)
"God is dead" - Nietzsche. "Nietzsche is dead" - God.
Originally posted by Ben Kenobi
If you're stuck with a boyfriend, then there's not much chance of getting a marriage out of it, if the boyfriend has everything he wants without one.
Why would a women want a husband that is only getting married for sex? You don't even have to get married for sex, because there are plenty of women who will have sex with you anyway.
Any women who chooses to not have sex with me is leaving herself open for a breakup. I'm not marrying anyone for sex. That's for sure. I doubt anyone else will either, unless they're losers.
I drank beer. I like beer. I still like beer. ... Do you like beer Senator?
- Justice Brett Kavanaugh
They won't trust their own judgment, but will conform.
You are quite right, I don't trust my own judgement. I know that when I am going to be that close to someone, that I am going to want to stay with them. I'm not going to be happy having anyone else.
Yeah, because no one has ever gotten married when the had sex before marriage. Nope... the boyfriend had everything he wanted without the marriage and marriage never came. What world do you live in Ben?
I know of lots of folks who get stuck there. Including one of my best friends and his long term girlfriend. She's his wife in all but name.
Scouse Git (2)La Fayette Adam SmithSolomwi and Loinburger will not be forgotten.
"Remember the night we broke the windows in this old house? This is what I wished for..."
2015 APOLYTON FANTASY FOOTBALL CHAMPION!
So it's only the folks who have no respect for themselves who wait? Maybe they want a husband rather than a 'boyfriend', and feel that the best way to get what they want is to wait for one.
I love the strawman. Did you miss the part where I told boann the middle is the place to be? But yes, I fear that those who stick to abstinence until marriage don't have respect for themselves, just like those who'll screw everything that moves.
They won't trust their own judgment, but will conform.
If you're stuck with a boyfriend, then there's not much chance of getting a marriage out of it, if the boyfriend has everything he wants without one.
My God you are clueless! Yeah, because no one has ever gotten married when the had sex before marriage. Nope... the boyfriend had everything he wanted without the marriage and marriage never came. What world do you live in Ben?
As for conforming to the Christian model, I'd think the pressure to conform works more the other way. After all, isn't it just the way the world works nowadays?
When women who have sex even a few times are called sluts, I think there is still massive pressure to conform to the Christian model... especially if you belong to a strongly Christian family or live in a stongly Christian society (like the Southeastern US).
well ben has made a choice and its a fine choice.
like imran says.. its about respect for yourself and your choice... not to align with some moral code really but about respect for your own choices.. you should do what makes you feel good about who you are.
many do make fine relationships after having sex first..
its just i think too many put physical intimacy before emotional intimacy.. one without the other is empty.
sure its pleasureable.. but what makes it special is the connection.... mentally..
and my choice is to wait... ive been celebate now for over a year...its been a great choice for me.. not for everyone though ..
"If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun." -Katherine Hepburn
Why would a women want a husband that is only getting married for sex? You don't even have to get married for sex, because there are plenty of women who will have sex with you anyway.
Ok, let's back up. Pekka said something that's valid here. What if I want to have sex with the same person without having any doubts? I know back in my mind, that I'm going to want to keep having sex with that person, just because I love them and I want to be with them, and not anyone else. Why, if this is what I am looking for, would I want to dally with other women who offer themselves?
Any women who chooses to not have sex with me is leaving herself open for a breakup. I'm not marrying anyone for sex. That's for sure. I doubt anyone else will either, unless they're losers.
So any woman who says no to you, is risking a breakup? Harsh.
Scouse Git (2)La Fayette Adam SmithSolomwi and Loinburger will not be forgotten.
"Remember the night we broke the windows in this old house? This is what I wished for..."
2015 APOLYTON FANTASY FOOTBALL CHAMPION!
Right. If you are thinking I will regret this, why do it. I never do stuff I know I will regret, at least I try avoiding those things. SO.. there's no problem since sex is not THAT necessary.
And then a person can truly enjoy and have pleasurable experience afterwards, when the whole regret thing is passed, adn they have fulfilled their wishes. Nothing wrong in that.
And for the record, if I happen to fall in love (which doesn't exist) with some girl, and she wants to wait, it's totally cool. Maybe even I want to wait. I'm not a virgin. But I can wait with the right girl. Maybe it would be kind of great. If the girl is right.. why not?! Then again, I do like to check the compability, so that the sex won't totally suck, but .. how likely is that with a partner you are deeply in love with? It won't suck. At least not TOO bad. Then you learn to push each other the right ways, since you are open to each other, and it'll work then.
In da butt.
"Do not worry if others do not understand you. Instead worry if you do not understand others." - Confucius
THE UNDEFEATED SUPERCITIZEN w:4 t:2 l:1 (DON'T ASK!)
"God is dead" - Nietzsche. "Nietzsche is dead" - God.
I know that I would prefer to only have sex (and engage in sexual activity) with girls who I am in love with...
and I just argued it with people in my house, and with people at CG
and am tired of arguing it (although I admit that I didn't argue it much on CG, mostly just said that I disagreed with others)
Jon Miller
Jon Miller- I AM.CANADIAN
GENERATION 35: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment.
I had several male freinds (from undergrad) who waited until marriage to have sex... sometimes it was because that was what the girl wanted though
Jon Miller
Jon Miller- I AM.CANADIAN
GENERATION 35: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment.
and it isn't even entirely religious (although is somewhat)
it is that I want sex to be romantic
also from a more practical standpoint, I think that sex is linked to love (all those powerful emotions) if you don't try to break that link sex can be an additional way to keep close to the one you love (to have something special together, which any good relationship needs)
I am not saying that relationships where people have screwed arround don't work, I am saying that I think that they have harmed themselves..
Jon Miller
Jon Miller- I AM.CANADIAN
GENERATION 35: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment.
My God you are clueless! Yeah, because no one has ever gotten married when the had sex before marriage. Nope... the boyfriend had everything he wanted without the marriage and marriage never came. What world do you live in Ben?
why not?! Then again, I do like to check the compability, so that the sex won't totally suck, but .. how likely is that with a partner you are deeply in love with? It won't suck. At least not TOO bad. Then you learn to push each other the right ways, since you are open to each other, and it'll work then.
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