connecting with girls on an intellectuel level

[Zero]

Re: It's funny because it's true!

Originally posted by JohnT
Of course, we are forgetting the one things females are congenital geniuses at, and that is the remembrance of past transgressions, no matter how minor or trivial. It turns even the most innocent of coversations into a penance ritual:

"No, really. I like Moonlighting. I've been catching it on A&E at nights, after you go to bed."
"When did this happen? I thought you always hated the show?"
"Hated it? Where did you get that impression?"
"When we were first dating, about 8 years ago. You were going on about "stupid TV shows your parents like" or something and you mentioned that you thought Moonlighting was dumb. Considering how you freaked out about the fact that I liked Beauty and the Beast, I never brought it up again."
"I freaked out about you watching BatB?"
"Yeah, you got all upset and called it "stupid" - a very common word with you, by the way. I felt so bad for so long."
...
...
"... I'm sorry."

or their ability to read deep emotional crises' into the most mundane and involuntary of body motions:

"What?"
"What What?"
"You snorted. You're thinking about something. What?"
"I didn't know that I snorted."
"Yeah, you did. You make that sound you make when you're thinking about something that is exasperating you. What is it?"
"I don't recall making any sound"
"There was soundage. Don't deny it.... So, what were you thinking? What's bothering you?"
"Honey, I don't know. Just random, stream-of-consciousness stuff. I don't even remember right now."
"Oh yeah? Then why did you're eye twitch when you said that? You do remember!"

eventually you just make up some **** to satisfy her, ending with:

"... I'm sorry."

I can tell you've been with the same woman for too long.

BTW you nailed something. Why does everythin have to end w/ "I'm sorry"? It really feels like Im giving in and not able to voice my own opinion. I'm afraid Im spoiling her and just end up cauing even more friction later after I cant take anymore of it. Of course I ALWAYS choose the wrong timing and argue when my position is bad...

[Bereta_Eder]

The few times I've said I'm sorry to girlfriends their responce was : oh don't be you're so sweeeat and they jumped me (in a sexual manner). So I'm not adverse in apologizing.

Girls with whom you "connect" and are in the same wave frequencey with you are heaven. With those that aren't it kind of pisses both off.
Plus I don't believe very much in this "to change, get accostumed to each other theory".

I think for the major part people don't really change. So I think it's better to go for those with whom there is this sort of connection - or not go at all.

[Ben Kenobi]

If they're dating me because I'm a sexy beast, then sign me up.

I have the same problem as you, Loinburger. No problem connecting intellectually, but physically?

[Saint Marcus]

You don't always wear the same clothing all the time, do you? By the same token, you need to have friends to talk about big issues, and you need to have friends to connect on an emotional level.

In a way. But I´m perfectly content having friends who I can connect with intellectually, but not emotionally. Yet, if it´s the other way around I get sick of it within months.

What do you mean by "fail to connect on an intellectual level"?

That they are less intelligent than you? That they don't have the same interests?

Both. Most girls I meet are less smart than me. And those that aren´t never seem to share my interests.

you're probably looking in the wrong places.

so where do I have to look?

Im guessing you chase around airheaded hot looking types and whine about how they cant be any smart. 99% of my friends who whines about the same thing usually fall under what I described.

I can spot those girls from miles away, I stay clear of them. Yet the less good looking ones I can´t connect with either (airheads or not)

I think he wants to debate with them endlessly, without having the girl take it personally...you know, like a guy. Of course that will never happen. All girls take all disagreements about all subjects very personally.

Yep. That´s what I want. And they must exist. They have to.



Stupid as it may sound, but the only woman I have ever known that I can have a good debate with on issues like politics, current affairs, ethics and philosophy is my mom. No surprises there really, since she´s studying theology and is in the city council. I wouldn´t ever want to date a girl who has my mom´s personality, but wouldn´t mind a girl with similar interests and intelligence.

Maybe not, but I have friends who ask the same thing over and over again, and frankly they themselves are so superficial that they are looking for wrong things in a girl. And when they realize this they're not happy wit it.

Maybe u have the same problem? lets hope Im wrong.

I´m the oposite of superficial...I´ve never dated a girl just for looks. I go for personality...so I´ve met some sweet girls. There have been girls I can connect with physically, emotionally, but never intellectually.

Literature is actually a really good way to get into "sincere" conversations with that special Ms. Take a uni English course, if you can handle that stuff

Yeah, that´s an option. Thank you.

I have yet to meet a woman as smart as me

I know one or two who´re smarter as me. Not that many, indeed.

if you met a girl 'thinking on the same level' as you, they would realize youre gay/sexist...

I wish I was gay, cause then I´d get laid every night. I wouldn´t even have to try.

but no, I´m not gay. and sexist? yeah, I am. and so what? the smart girls that I do know are sexists. I dated some (not so smart ones) that were. And I really couldn´t care less. So what´s your point?

[The Mad Monk]

I usually have no problems connecting on an intellectual level...it's every other level that's the problem...

[*End Is Forever*]

Both. Most girls I meet are less smart than me. And those that aren´t never seem to share my interests.

So I was right with "patronising and paternalistic" in the first place?

[Provost Harrison]

Well I have found it hard to find anyone I connect with as well, although it is hard to pinpoint why...I am too nervous and they don't really want to have anything to do with me 'in that way'

[Spiffor]

I often have interesting discussions with my fellow students in political sciences, guys and gals, as well as some girls from my hometown (granted, most are politically engaged, and as such have something to say).

I mostly try to talk with women the same way I would talk with men. They show their intelligence much more when I consider them like "default" human beings, rather than specifically female.

[Saint Marcus]

So I was right with "patronising and paternalistic" in the first place?

not sure what you mean by it, please clarify.


and all I want is a girl who can talk me under the table.

[*End Is Forever*]

...you look down on girls.

Though it looks like you just look down on anyone that doesn't meet your (high) standards and you're having difficulty finding girls that do...

[Imran Siddiqui]

All girls take all disagreements about all subjects very personally.

. It's like, "I was just talking about this issue"... "You just thought I was dumb"!

Reminds me of a conversation with my g/f. We were talking about Mormons. I said we should not rely on stereotypes of Mormons being super sexist, while she was saying they were. I kept saying, I know what the stereotypes say, but I'd give them the benefit of the doubt. After a while, she said "I took a class on it, and I can't believe that you don't believe me" (or something like that) and said she was going.

Her: "What's wrong?"
Me: "What?"
Her: "What's wrong?"
Me: "What are you talking about?"
Her: "You're acting like something is wrong."
Me: "Am I? Well, I don't intend to act that way, since nothing's wrong."
Her: "So you're saying that nothing's wrong?"
Me: "Yup, nothing's wrong. Everything's great."
Her: "I really wish you'd confide in me."
Me: "Say what huh?"
Her: "I really wish you'd tell me when something's wrong, rather than going on the defensive like that."
Me: "I would tell you if something's wrong, if there were something wrong. However, since there is nothing wrong, I'm not going to tell you that something's wrong."
Her: "I'm just trying to help you, Kevin. Please, just open up to me."
Me: "You're ****ing insane. You know that? Completely ****ing insane."

So true, so true.

[Bugs ****ing Bunny]

This thread is an abomination.

I'm going to find a gay thread, because at least in those threads there's at least an outside chance of encountering people with balls.

[*End Is Forever*]

[Saint Marcus]

Though it looks like you just look down on anyone that doesn't meet your (high) standards and you're having difficulty finding girls that do...

Well yeah. But doesn´t that go for anyone?

Doesn´t everyone want to find someone who meets their standards? People just focus on different things. I know plenty of guys who only date beautiful women.

I used to have no standards whatsoever in who I dated. I had a low self esteem and was pretty desperate, and figured that anyone would be better than having noone. After a while I figured out it doesn´t quite work that way, unless desperate for sex. So I upped my standards. And not even that much. I mean, there´s a lot I don´t have going for me. I´m not atletic, or a real hunk, or a smooth talker, or rich either. But I am pretty smart. Still, I´m not a genius by any standard, and know lots and lots of people who are way smarter than me. So I don´t think it is too much to ask for someone who is my intellectuel peer, is it?

[Spiffor]

Maybe you should look for women in places according to your interests (to talk about politics and religion, politicial or theological universities may be the way to go). Then, when you'll find a smart woman, you'll be able to dicuss on an interesting topic.