Dating Between Friends

[aaglo]

My g/f is my best friend, and I don't find that strange at all...

[Dinner]

I've heard that in most cases were a man and a women are good friends it is because one of the two secretly likes the other one but is afraid to admite it.

[aaglo]

Oerdin, according to your theory, I would be good friends with all the women in the planet...

[Dinner]

It's not really my theary just something you hear repeated on all those "relationship help" programs.

[korn469]

UR

Originally posted by korn469
In my experience relationships have more stress than friendships do simply because there is more potential for getting your heart broken.

No guts, no glory. If you don't take your chances, you will always remain at the same spot.

i'm just saying that a committed relationship takes more effort to maintain than a friendship, and you could be wasting your energies if you don't love the person you are in a relationship with. to me there is no reason to possibly damage a perfectly fine friendship that does make your life better when it has taken you quite a while to decide that you liked a person. however, every rule should have an exception, so here is mine, if you have underwent a great deal of personal growth over time and you are a different person than when you first became friends then possibily you should go for it, but if you are looking for the same type of partners years down the road as when you first met your friend and your friend never fit the bill before they probably won't meet it now unless they have changed quite a bit.

turning a long term friendship into a relationship will effect that friendship. their will be new stresses on that friendship, and there will be new sides of the person you haven't ever experienced before. Plus if thing don't work out your friendship most likely will be different than what it was before. i think everyone should consider this before they do try and date their best friend

[Urban Ranger]

"Chemistry" - sexual attraction perhaps - does not always kick in near the beginning. Often it can be a result of mental attraction, which takes time to establish.

Often, too, when a man gets attracted to a woman friend, it is because he is receiving a different set of non-verbal cues - he is merely reacting to them. In this case, the man shouldn't hesistate if he is at all interested. The woman is likely to give up and look elsewhere if she hasn't received any affirmative signals, i.e., your window to react is small.

[TCO]

Go for it, David. Get her a little tipsy one night. Go for a walk somewhere romantic (beach at night is good) and than just give here a smacker on the lips.

[FemmeAdonis]

I didnt read everything...

but my first serious BF was at first my best friend.

we ended up being together over 4 years.

but now...we're not friends at all after we broke up.

I don;t think I woulda been able to handle it...it woulda been too akward..too weird...

now Im in a new relationship. been in it for over 2 years (thank you Blackwidow for introducing us). my hunnnnny *swoons*


ANYHOO...dating a friend can become the best thing you can do. I don't regret my relationship with my best friend at all. Only thing is...the friend ship can end if the bf/gf thing does.

I say go for it.....but only if theres LOVE there. its the only thing that makes it worth the risk

[TCO]

Or sex. You know you want it.

[orange]

Originally posted by GP
Go for it, David. Get her a little tipsy one night. Go for a walk somewhere romantic (beach at night is good) and than just give here a smacker on the lips.

That's how GP caught his wife

[Urban Ranger]

Originally posted by aaglo
My g/f is my best friend, and I don't find that strange at all...

Even the Mad Finn could do it.

[TCO]

Originally posted by Oerdin
I've heard that in most cases were a man and a women are good friends it is because one of the two secretly likes the other one but is afraid to admite it.

Yeah. I've had this a few times. Last time, we both got drunk and she pulled me into her and made me kiss her. I figured I might as well. Didn't want to hurt her feelings. So we went out for a while and then broke up and than weren't friends anymore. Harry was right. Sally was wrong.

[Urban Ranger]

It's all your fault, George.

[Lorizael]

Originally posted by korn469
Lorizael

the weirdness thing comes from turning a comfortable relationship intosomething that could be less comfortable but more rewarding if it works out, lots of times you are best friends with people of the opposite sex who are nothing like the people you wanna date

In my experience relationships have more stress than friendships do simply because there is more potential for getting your heart broken. A person could have more than one best friend at once, but it is highly doubtful they will have more than one serious committed relationship at once. Friendship is based around shared interests, mutual respect, and acceptance if not approval of your friend's behavior. While friendship is an important part of a good relationship, all of the shared interests in the world don't add up for that thing in your heart that makes you completely happy when you are around the person you love and completely miserable when you aren't. Simply because you have lots in common with a person doesn't make you two soulmates. There has to be that crazy emotional attachment to them that makes you wanna spend all of your time together plus having all of those shared interests, and I don't think it takes that long to figure out if it exists or not.

In my experience it's not that friendships give you more stress and require more to maintain, it's that because there is a stronger emotional attachment involved with romantic relationships, there is more honesty, and so you know when your partner is upset. Often times friendships can slowly erode because neither is willing to share as much with someone who is only a friend. Now, with bestfriends, this changes. Just make sure you know that someone actually is a bestfriend...

And in my weird case, I knew almost immediately that I wanted this girl. I at least thought it was pretty obvious that I was wanted too. The problem was that a number of different circumstances arose (me having another romantic partneer, her being totally turned off to men because of a bad experience, the both of us not being near each other at all) nothing was able to happen. Many months later, after a very strong friendship had developed, I said screw it all and asked her out anyway.

[Boris Godunov]

Re: Dating Between Friends

Originally posted by David Floyd
Have you ever had a friend of the opposite sex, who is probably one of your best friends, and then you realize how much you like her - and not in a "she's cute I wanna nail her" way, either?

No.