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**David Floyd** · January 21, 2003, 01:43

Oh, well, if we're using TV examples, look at how ****ed up it was between Ross and Rachel, and, on the other hand, how good it was between Chandler and Monica.

**Bosh** · January 21, 2003, 01:51

Have you ever had a friend of the opposite sex, who is probably one of your best friends, and then you realize how much you like her - and not in a "she's cute I wanna nail her" way, either?

Yes, definately yes...

But if I ever asked her out I'd lose my best drinking buddy

**David Floyd** · January 21, 2003, 01:52

Why do you say that?

**korn469** · January 21, 2003, 01:53

David

i'm 25 year old guy and my best friend of the past 12 years is a girl, and while there have been times since i've known her that I would have wanted to try to have something more with her i'm glad that we never did

i think it is impossible to have a friendship between a girl and a guy that is completely devoid of all sexual tensions for hetrosexuals, but i think that in most cases it is best not to act on them here's why:

1) by simply trying to date this girl you could irrepreably damage your friendship

2) you could date her and if it doesn't work out again you lose your friendship

3) if you've known her for a year and a half and you just know see a side of her that you are attracted too, i'm questioning your chemistry, if she was somebody you really wanted to be with you would have known that a long time ago, and if you have wanted to get with her for a while why did you wait this long to start thinking about making your move?

you're really not telling us much tho

*are you best friends or causual friends?
*how long have you been attracted to her physically?
*when did you suddenly start wanting to date her?
*has she ever given you signal that make you think she wants to date you?
*how long have you been single? what about her?
*what is both of your past records in relationships like?

all of those things will impact you two being together?

**David Floyd** · January 21, 2003, 01:54

3) if you've known her for a year and a half and you just know see a side of her that you are attracted too, i'm questioning your chemistry, if she was somebody you really wanted to be with you would have known that a long time ago, and if you have wanted to get with her for a while why did you wait this long to start thinking about making your move?

Oh, it isn't sudden at all.

And yes, there's lot's of stuff I'm not telling you. And I'm not gonna, either

**korn469** · January 21, 2003, 01:57

lol

the best advice comes from knowing all sides of the problem, but i can always give you half assed advice

so you've liked her for a while, so is it like a year and a half or not?

**David Floyd** · January 21, 2003, 01:58

Sorta, but I basically ignored it for most of that time, for various reasons.

**korn469** · January 21, 2003, 02:01

because she had a boyfriend?
now be truthful, were you the guy who was always there for her when she needed a shoulder to cry on, because you were just her "good friend" when in reality you always wanted to be with her or is it different?

**David Floyd** · January 21, 2003, 02:02

It's different, and don't make too many assumptions

**korn469** · January 21, 2003, 02:07

i'm making assumptions to rule out possibilities

ok so there is this girl you've know for a year and half, and you've always kinda liked her, but for unnamed reasons you've ignored it

a couple more questions come to mind

what has changed about the situation to make now the right time to go for it?

what kind of relationship are you in the mood for?

with what i know i think something either really light, like just going out on the occasional fun date or something with lots of potential for commentment could work, but something in between raises red flags to me

**orange** · January 21, 2003, 02:08

tell her how you feel, be completely honest, and when she shoots you down be sure to say "I hope we can still be friends"

haha, I'm just kidding DF. Best of luck, I've been in your shoes before...

**David Floyd** · January 21, 2003, 02:09

tell her how you feel, be completely honest, and when she shoots you down be sure to say "I hope we can still be friends"

Bastard!

korn,

Looking for a serious relationship. Couldn't care less about casual dates, etc., - I can do that whenever I want, if I'm so inclined.

**orange** · January 21, 2003, 02:12

I can do that whenever I want, if I'm so inclined.

Almost convincing

haha, sorry I'm going to stop ragging on you...

at least in this thread

**David Floyd** · January 21, 2003, 02:13

Damn, orange

**korn469** · January 21, 2003, 02:15

seriously if you just come out and say "hey i like you, wanna go out" and there wasn't any indication of it before then you're putting her in a bad situation if she doesn't feel the same way

since she is your friend she isn't going to want to hurt you, but since you probably know her pretty well when she tries to lie to not hurt your feelings you're going to know it and still get hurt

lots of times people you are really close to just totally lose all flirting cues from you, and won't see a hookup attempt coming, and it'll put space between you in most cases

again i'm assuming that she is either a really good friend or a best friend, if she is just a casual friend then it doesn't matter too much, if that is the case go for it, but still clue her in before you tell her you like her with lots and lots of flirting

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