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Maybe I just didn't want to believe I was a slut...

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  • What do you do with your ladyfriends (inflatable or otherwise)



    NO! Gay people only enjoy penetrative sex


    Not only gay people enjoy backdoors btw.
    Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing?
    Then why call him God? - Epicurus

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    • Just got in... this thread is so funny.

      And Boris, you go!
      Who is Barinthus?

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      • Hillarious thread.

        You know, generally apolyton is pretty boring these days, but I guess you people save your creative energy to create these miracles.

        /me remembers Speer's "Help, I think my favourite rapper is gay!" thread.
        urgh.NSFW

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        • Way to go Boris

          Now if there were some pretty girls here to sell beds... . But then, I'm married.

          Comment


          • In honour of Boris, here's a musical number. With commentary:

            There Are Worst Things I Could Do

            There are worse things I could do,
            Than go with a boy or two.
            (Or five or six for Boris)
            Even though the neighborhood thinks I'm trashy,
            And no good,
            I suppose it could be true,
            (It is honey)
            But there are worse things I could do.

            I could flirt with all the guys,
            Smile at them and bat my eyes.
            Press against them when we dance,
            Make them think they stand a chance,
            Then refuse to see it through.
            That's a thing I'd never do.
            (Seeing it through is what got you in trouble with Drake but better that than a **** tease)

            I could stay home every night,
            Wait around for Mr. Right.
            (Instead of Mr. Right Now)
            Take cold showers every day,
            (So good for the skin!)
            And throw my life away,
            (You're moving to Portland. Done and Done.)
            On a dream that won't come true.

            I could hurt someone like me,
            Out of spite or jealousy.
            I dont steal and I dont lie,
            But I can feel and I can cry.
            (which, to be fair, is more than I can do with my heart of ice and rock)
            A fact I'll bet you never knew.
            But to cry in front of you,
            That's the worse thing I could do.
            Exult in your existence, because that very process has blundered unwittingly on its own negation. Only a small, local negation, to be sure: only one species, and only a minority of that species; but there lies hope. [...] Stand tall, Bipedal Ape. The shark may outswim you, the cheetah outrun you, the swift outfly you, the capuchin outclimb you, the elephant outpower you, the redwood outlast you. But you have the biggest gifts of all: the gift of understanding the ruthlessly cruel process that gave us all existence [and the] gift of revulsion against its implications.
            -Richard Dawkins

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            • Nobody told no-one nothin'
              Consul.

              Back to the ROOTS of addiction. My first missed poll!

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              • @Starchild: Those the lyrics of a "real" song?
                Why can't you be a non-conformist just like everybody else?

                It's no good (from an evolutionary point of view) to have the physique of Tarzan if you have the sex drive of a philosopher. -- Michael Ruse
                The Nedaverse I can accept, but not the Berzaverse. There can only be so many alternate realities. -- Elok

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                • Re: Maybe I just didn't want to believe I was a slut...

                  Originally posted by Boris Godunov
                  I had never thought of myself as such, after all. I mean, I have standards, perhaps even relatively high ones.

                  But tonight...

                  In preparation for my move, I wanted to sell my bed. It's only a year old, is in great condition, so why not? I posted an ad on Craig's List last week, and got some prompt responses. The first person was a guy who lived in the same neighborhood who had his own van that he could use to transport it, so I figured he was the best bet for a painless transfer.

                  Well, he came by tonight to check it out and take it away (if he wanted it). He had sounded a bit gay to me on the phone, and when he arrived I noticed he was kinda cute.

                  He thought the bed was fine, and... started flirting heavily with me. I mean, quite obvious. Well, what am I going to do?

                  So I gave him his first test run on the bed. And then he took the bed with him when we were done. Now there's a first for me.

                  A Brian Kinney experience.
                  A lot of Republicans are not racist, but a lot of racists are Republican.

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                  • Hmm. What if I placed this ad in the newspaper:

                    "Bed for sale. Excellent condition.
                    Hot chicks are encouraged to apply."

                    or so I don't sound like a chauvinist:

                    "Bed for sale. Excellent condition
                    Hot minority chicks are encouraged to apply."
                    CSPA

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                    • Gangerolf, "More BANG for our BUCK!"

                      Well, you have a thread going on 5th page already about you being slut. Face it, you're a slut.
                      In da butt.
                      "Do not worry if others do not understand you. Instead worry if you do not understand others." - Confucius
                      THE UNDEFEATED SUPERCITIZEN w:4 t:2 l:1 (DON'T ASK!)
                      "God is dead" - Nietzsche. "Nietzsche is dead" - God.

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                      • C'mon, the Poly gays are way lamer than the SFU plonkers.
                        Not by much.

                        Still, you gave me a good laugh.
                        Scouse Git (2) La Fayette Adam Smith Solomwi and Loinburger will not be forgotten.
                        "Remember the night we broke the windows in this old house? This is what I wished for..."
                        2015 APOLYTON FANTASY FOOTBALL CHAMPION!

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                        • You're getting head while browsing Poly?

                          Seriously dude, your priorities are somewhat messed up there.


                          That's going on my sig.
                          Scouse Git (2) La Fayette Adam Smith Solomwi and Loinburger will not be forgotten.
                          "Remember the night we broke the windows in this old house? This is what I wished for..."
                          2015 APOLYTON FANTASY FOOTBALL CHAMPION!

                          Comment


                          • Funny thread.

                            Boris . .. . happy you enjoyed yourself-- interesting and fun way to hook up--

                            Oh and you are a slut !! Congratulations??


                            Pekka-- I'd say you have Tourettes of the typewriter but you are consistent-- oh well
                            You don't get to 300 losses without being a pretty exceptional goaltender.-- Ben Kenobi speaking of Roberto Luongo

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                            • sluts
                              Solomwi is very wise. - Imran Siddiqui

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