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Ahh, Women...

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  • #16
    Originally posted by -Jrabbit
    Oh yeah, lots of expertise on that topic at Poly...

    actually more experience that your would suggest.

    But the truly experienced would see the truth in your comment, in that no one ever gets expertise in the area of "women"-- you might get pretty good with respect to an individual woman but you are never an EXPERT on the gender
    You don't get to 300 losses without being a pretty exceptional goaltender.-- Ben Kenobi speaking of Roberto Luongo

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    • #17
      Unless you actually are one.

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      • #18


        Yup, the old "yer not gonna get out of the fight" fight.

        Any other seemingly innocent topics a man should avoid when talking to his girlfriend, or that've got any of you guys into big trouble?
        Everything I do gets me in trouble with wifey. I try to do just enough as to not get in trouble for doin nothing, and just enough as to not get in trouble for doing something.
        Monkey!!!

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        • #19
          Originally posted by Barinthus
          There is no safe topic with women. None.

          Just learn to nod your head and say you're sorry and how grateful you are that she set you straight.

          DING DING DING DING!!

          We have a winner Tom! Tell us whats in store for Barinthus!






          SPec.
          -Never argue with an idiot; He will bring you down to his level and beat you with experience.

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          • #20
            "Does this dress make me look fat ?"

            Never answer this one...you can not win this one, change the topic at all costs!!!

            If she stares at the wall or ceiling for any longer than 3 seconds, again, go into red alert or you will painting for the next 6 weekends.
            Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing?
            Then why call him God? - Epicurus

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            • #21
              Originally posted by Adagio


              You mean like a FaQ about women?
              Seriously it would take more than a thread. This requires a series of books that would equal any encylopedia.
              Which side are we on? We're on the side of the demons, Chief. We are evil men in the gardens of paradise, sent by the forces of death to spread devastation and destruction wherever we go. I'm surprised you didn't know that. --Saul Tigh

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              • #22
                This should work, for starters.

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                • #23
                  Woman FAQ
                  by Japher

                  1. Why is she yelling at me? - No one will ever know
                  2. Why won't she have sex with me? - Headache
                  3. Why does she think I'm an idiot? - She's a woman
                  4. Does that dress make her look fat? - walk, no, run away
                  5. Can you do her a favor? - Yes, and make the task look very very difficult
                  6. Is she prettier than that girl? - Not at all
                  7. Are you listening to her? - I love you too dear
                  8. Do you know what day it is? - Always keep a present hidden away for her
                  9. Do you love her? - Of course
                  10. Can she have that new peice of jewelry? - She'll put out if you get it for her
                  Monkey!!!

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                  • #24
                    Okay, well I think that from a woman's point of view, you all need to see that you won't get away with anything, because we are women. We are ALWAYS right, and you will never win. You can't change the way God made us, so just learn to accept it, and try your best to stay out of hot water and you will be okay. Always tell the woman that you are with that you love her and make her feel special daily, and that will mean more to her than anything else, and believe it or not, it might save your ass on more than one occassion.

                    This is from Spraybers fiance so that is why it is a little *****y! Sorry
                    Which side are we on? We're on the side of the demons, Chief. We are evil men in the gardens of paradise, sent by the forces of death to spread devastation and destruction wherever we go. I'm surprised you didn't know that. --Saul Tigh

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                    • #25
                      Originally posted by Sprayber
                      Always tell the woman that you are with that you love her and make her feel special daily, and that will mean more to her than anything else, and believe it or not, it might save your ass on more than one occassion.
                      And I thought for a minute that there is one man in the earth that had truely got it.
                      Be good, and if at first you don't succeed, perhaps failure will be back in fashion soon. -- teh Spamski

                      Grapefruit Garden

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                      • #26
                        Originally posted by Japher
                        Woman FAQ
                        by Japher

                        1. Why is she yelling at me? - She needs your attention
                        2. Why won't she have sex with me? - You didn't do enough that gets her into that state
                        3. Why does she think I'm an idiot? - You missed a cue
                        4. Does that dress make her look fat? - She looks gorgeous in everything
                        5. Can you do her a favor? - Yes, and make the task look very very difficult (I'll give you this one but don't over play it)
                        6. Is she prettier than that girl? - Which girl? You didn't notice any other girl
                        7. Are you listening to her? - I love you too dear (a little oversimplified actually but you've got the most important )
                        8. Do you know what day it is? - Always keep a present hidden away for her ( Good one)
                        9. Do you love her? - Of course (Yes and you are not tired of her asking this again and again)
                        10. Can she have that new peice of jewelry? - Well she always look fabulous and lovely with or without the jewelry (if you don't want to buy it that is)
                        Be good, and if at first you don't succeed, perhaps failure will be back in fashion soon. -- teh Spamski

                        Grapefruit Garden

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                        • #27
                          All you big boys afraid of little ole' women You have nothing to fear from us
                          Welcome to earth, my name is Tia and I'll be your tour guide for this trip.
                          Succulent and Bejeweled Mother Goddess, who is always moisturised yet never greasy, always patient yet never suffers fools~Starchild
                          Dragons? Yup- big flying lizards with an attitude. ~ Laz
                          You are forgiven because you are FABULOUS ~ Imran

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                          • #28
                            Snowflake gave an excellent piece of advice there. He's right, the girl would want Gibsie be there.

                            I'd have not brought that thing about fighting up, I'd offer to be there with her to help out and everything even if I knew it'd lead to the inevitable - the fighting.

                            I'd just grin and bear it if she start to be cranky and take it out on me. I'm not too good at packing myself (I actually prefer to do it all by myself, I'm worse than a woman if others are involved). I'd try my best not to snap back and if I succeed (give myself a big pat on my back), she'd usually later on say sorry for being grouchy or whatever and make it up to me. But there's a chance I'd be a bit touchy for a while, it's not easy for me to take 'abuse' from someone I love. If I fail, we get in this stupid argument over nothing and she end up being mad at me for few days . So either way I suffer.

                            Snowflake's pretty smooth, knowing how to defuse tensions with some choice lines there. Wish I had that ability.

                            Why can't it be like this:

                            Man: You know, this packing thing? I think maybe it's a good idea if I kind of just stay away for a while so I don't get in the way or something? That way we don't get into an argument like people often do over packing.

                            Woman: Aw, honey, that's so sweet of you, I would not want for us to get into an argument. But it would really mean a lot to me if you could be there with me. It's a sensitive time for me and it'd be so wonderful to have you there. We'll just try not to take anything personal or get into argument. No matter what, I love you, remember that.

                            instead of:

                            Woman: You insenstive b***ard! How do you dare to imply our relationship isn't secure enough blah blah blah blah blah idiot blah blah blah jerk blah blah blah!!!

                            Why couldn't G's gf recongize that he was trying to be thoughtful and considerable although perhaps it wasn't along the lines she'd want him to be. The important thing here is the thought and she could have communicate in more positive way that she would want him there.
                            Who is Barinthus?

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                            • #29
                              I've noticed that if you accidently say something mildly bad to your girlfriend she will nag you into explaining yourself and will deftly turn all subsequent attempts at compliments into insults as foreplay to an argument you will definitely not win. If you say something fairly bad she will get into an ill thought argument straight away and honours are even. If you say something really bad she will give you the silent treatment for a while.

                              Almost counter-intuitive crime-punishment scenario there if you ask me.

                              Beware though, say something really really bad and you will have to make sure you've hidden the scissors and your favourite clothes.
                              One day Canada will rule the world, and then we'll all be sorry.

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                              • #30
                                Well when people gets more intimate with each other they don't talk like they are diplomats all the time. You know using beautiful words and so on. But a girl won't say "insensitive b***ard" for no reason too. I was being delibrately dramatic.

                                But Barinthus is right. How you say it sometime does have a big effect. Equally important is how you interpret your significant other's words and expressions.
                                Be good, and if at first you don't succeed, perhaps failure will be back in fashion soon. -- teh Spamski

                                Grapefruit Garden

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