"When I'm a parent, I'm not going to punish my child! I will gently..."

[Tamerlin]

Spanking kids is sometimes necessary to show them that there is a limit that MUST not be crossed... Imagine your kid is crossing the street without looking at the road to spot a vehicle though you have repeated time and time again that he should not cross without you or without having a look. You can tell him many times he won't pay any attention to it until a given age because kids do not have any sense of danger until they are old enough to, but what they remember is that they will be spanked if they do it.

Fortunately, the big voice followed by a threat is generally enough to stop the criminal. But for the threat to be understood you need to have spanked the child at least once...

[Cruddy]

I'm speculating JohnT, but maybe, just maybe the reason she didn't want to admit to it was because she was afraid of an angry reaction.

Now, if your conscience is clear on that, fair enough. But too often I see parents in full screeching rage at their kids.

Scares the hell out of me, let alone the kids!

[Alexander's Horse]

I don't get mad at my kids very often.

[Gibsie]

If I ever have to resort to that I will consider myself failed as a parent. Use the term, "movement" like that, I mean

[Alexander's Horse]

I'm just glad Professor Roy Meadows never caught up with me.

[The Mad Viking]

Small children are far more intelligent than adults tend to believe. We tend to base our idea of their intelligence on their vocal capabilities and their knowledge and experience, both of which they are lacking. As a result, we continually underestimate the sophisitication of their understanding, motivation and actions.

Sophie has yet to learn sarcasm. So she has no response better than no. Otherwise, she would probably say,

"No, doofus, somebody else had a crap, I'm just holding it for them."

Or, if she was not inclined to sarcasm, she might try,

"Of course I did, you dolt, we can both smell it, can't we. Why do you insist on trying to humiliate me with a series of rhetorical questions to point out what I already know. I'm just a two-year old. Crapping our pants is one the things we sometimes do. If you don't like it, you should have kept it in your pants."

Spanking your kid is giving in to your fear and frustration. It has only negative impact on the kid, and admits automatically that you are a failure. If you want your kid to be thoughtful, respectful and responsible, you cannot teach them this by being angry, violent, and reactive.

[Dr Strangelove]

I talk to my kids, that always works. They would do anything, even behave, to avoid having me talk to them. You simply have to know how to be long winded, heavily moralistic, and boring. Oh, and you need to know how to apply a thick, smothering layer of guiilt. Try to think like a Yenta.

[Stuie]

Originally posted by The Mad Viking
Spanking your kid is giving in to your fear and frustration. It has only negative impact on the kid, and admits automatically that you are a failure. If you want your kid to be thoughtful, respectful and responsible, you cannot teach them this by being angry, violent, and reactive.

How many children do you have?

[Potassium]

Originally posted by The Mad Viking
Small children are far more intelligent than adults tend to believe.

*snip*

Spanking your kid is giving in to your fear and frustration. It has only negative impact on the kid, and admits automatically that you are a failure. If you want your kid to be thoughtful, respectful and responsible, you cannot teach them this by being angry, violent, and reactive.

Finally, someone who agrees with what I've been telling my mom my entire life. I could carry on full conversations with adults at age 4, yet I still got treated like I just learned to speak the day before. It's annoyed the hell out of me.

And for seriously, spanking is not the way to go. Nor is hitting them at all, because after awhile, they're going to hit back. I have, on various occasions and after being slapped for something, come about thisclose to slapping my mom back. I can't bring myself to do it. But anyway.

If you want a kid to do something, reward them for positive behaviour. "If you do such and such, I'll give you a cookie/take you to the park/buy you a puppy." Worked wonders for me.

[The Mad Viking]

stuie: two, aged 17 and 14. I've been through it all...

potassium: better still, explaing the benefits of what you should be doing, and let you decide that doing it will lead to a real reward, not an artificial one.

(rewards are the use of power to manipulate)

[CerberusIV]

Once they get a bit older denial works quite well - "Go to your room and stay there. No, you are not to switch the Playstation on." Half an hour of that is usually enough to make the point.

(No, I don't have children but I have seen this work enough times to know it can be effective)

[Stuie]

Originally posted by The Mad Viking
stuie: two, aged 17 and 14. I've been through it all...

Cool. Just checking - usually the most vocal spanking critics have ZERO.

I disagree with your "admits automatically that you are a failure" statement. Like any diplomatic situation, the possible use of force should be kept available as a deterrent to future poor behavior. However, I only use spanking in extreme situations (such as where the child may injury himself) when all else has failed. Children need to learn that there are boundaries that must not be crossed, and crossing them must have consequences.

[Potassium]

^^^^ That's why you teach them why they shouldn't be doing what they're doing. They aren't going to learn by you smacking their bottom and telling them they shouldn't do it. Anytime you tell a kid not to do something, they're just going to want to do it more.

Originally posted by CerberusIV
Once they get a bit older denial works quite well - "Go to your room and stay there. No, you are not to switch the Playstation on." Half an hour of that is usually enough to make the point.

(No, I don't have children but I have seen this work enough times to know it can be effective)

No, it doesn't. Telling them to sit there and thnk about what they've done -- WTF?! "Okay. I talked back to you and now I'm sitting here being bored. I could be outside playing. That would be a lot more fun than this. I wonder what my friends are doing..." and the mind wandering continues from there.

Taking things away works about as well as ^^^ that ^^^.

[MikeH]

If my kids misbehave I'll Dad kill them and dance about on their graves singing Hallelujah.

[SpencerH]

Originally posted by The Mad Viking
Small children are far more intelligent than adults tend to believe. We tend to base our idea of their intelligence on their vocal capabilities and their knowledge and experience, both of which they are lacking. As a result, we continually underestimate the sophisitication of their understanding, motivation and actions.

Sophie has yet to learn sarcasm. So she has no response better than no. Otherwise, she would probably say,

"No, doofus, somebody else had a crap, I'm just holding it for them."

Or, if she was not inclined to sarcasm, she might try,

"Of course I did, you dolt, we can both smell it, can't we. Why do you insist on trying to humiliate me with a series of rhetorical questions to point out what I already know. I'm just a two-year old. Crapping our pants is one the things we sometimes do. If you don't like it, you should have kept it in your pants."

Spanking your kid is giving in to your fear and frustration. It has only negative impact on the kid, and admits automatically that you are a failure. If you want your kid to be thoughtful, respectful and responsible, you cannot teach them this by being angry, violent, and reactive.

I agree, in general, but once in a while a (single) swat on the bum lets em know that its more serious than the normal stuff.