"When I'm a parent, I'm not going to punish my child! I will gently..."

[JohnT]

"... explain to them what they're doing wrong and reason with them....Spanking does nothing but teach the kid that violence is the answer... blah, blah, blah."

Yeah, I used to be one of those too. "Oh, I'll NEVER spank my kids, that would be WRONG!!! I remember when my dad spanked me - I vowed that I would never do that to my kid, that I will treat them with love, respect, yadda yadda yadda."



So, whatcha gonna do in the following case:

Sophie walks in the room, reeking to high heaven because she had a diaper:

"Sophie, did you have a movement?"
"No."
"Sophie, tell me the truth: did you have a diaper?"
"No."
"Sophie, you're lying to us."
"No."
peering inside "Sophie, I can see it. Did you have a diaper?"
"No."

Oh, we didn't spank her of course - she's still too young for more than a swat on the bottom (something you don't want to do with a full diaper anyway), but the fact is that I have seen the future 'cause I remember the past: Even with all evidence to the contrary, even knowing that we know, children will still lie to us to avoid whatever it is they want to avoid (in this situation a diaper change). I did it, my daughter does it, I'm sure y'all did it too.

So, how does one reason with a creature that will knowingly deny mountains of evidence? Answer: you can't.

But any suggestions would be appreciated.

So, all you parents out there: what was the biggest shift from the imaginary to the real that you experienced? Were you rabidly anti-TV... until you needed some peace and quiet to get some work done so you decided to turn on the cartoons? Were you virulently anti-spanking until you just had to get the message across? Were you an anti-Santa Nazi who now gets sad because your kids no longer believes?

This slice-of-life has been brought to you by the family Thornton. All rights reserved.

[Verto]

she's still too young for more than a swat on the bottom (something you don't want to do with a full diaper anyway)

I was wondering how that was going to work.

[BeBMan]

Re: "When I'm a parent, I'm not going to punish my child! I will gently..."

Originally posted by JohnT
Sophie walks in the room, reeking to high heaven because she had a diaper:

"Sophie, did you have a movement?"
"No."
"Sophie, tell me the truth: did you have a diaper?"
"No."
"Sophie, you're lying to us."
"No."
peering inside "Sophie, I can see it. Did you have a diaper?"
"No."

[/size]

Just a thought - did you teach her other words than "No"?

[Harry Tuttle]

I'm not a parent, but I know from experience and my own upbringing that instilling the fear of God into your kids is a great motivator for them to act like respectable human beings. You don't need to spank, but using your angry "God talking to Moses" voice works wonders. The positive motivator (do this and you'll get candy) is about the worst way to go.

Ned Flanders never got spanked and look what happened to him??? (Yeah, I know, he's fictional, but so's the boogie man).

[JohnT]

Re: Re: "When I'm a parent, I'm not going to punish my child! I will gently..."

Originally posted by BeBro


Just a thought - did you teach her other words than "No"?

Heh-heh. Just you wait.

[BeBMan]

I just thought maybe she was willing to tell the truth, but hadn´t the means to do so :

[JohnT]

Originally posted by Harry Tuttle You don't need to spank, but using your angry "God talking to Moses" voice works wonders.

In time, that loses its effectiveness as your child gets used to it. Even at the age of 2.

"Our words are backed with NUCLEAR WEAPONS" works great... until the opponent realizes that you will never use them.

[Verto]

Originally posted by JohnT


In time, that loses its effectiveness as your child gets used to it. Even at the age of 2.

"Our words are backed with NUCLEAR WEAPONS" works great... until the opponent realizes that you will never use them.

Use them on an insignificant third party. Do you have any pets?

[JohnT]

Yeah, but the dogs don't lie.

[BeBMan]

Originally posted by Verto


Use them on an insignificant third party. Do you have any pets?

Still useless once the balance of terror is established.

[Verto]

You can't make an omelette without breaking some eggs.

[Harry Tuttle]

Originally posted by JohnT


In time, that loses its effectiveness as your child gets used to it. Even at the age of 2.

"Our words are backed with NUCLEAR WEAPONS" works great... until the opponent realizes that you will never use them.

True, true. There's a myriad of things you could try really. Maybe some shaming, some praise. You're right about the one sided approach. Use "combined arms".

[Darsnan]

Re: "When I'm a parent, I'm not going to punish my child! I will gently..."

Originally posted by JohnT
So, all you parents out there: what was the biggest shift from the imaginary to the real that you experienced? Were you rabidly anti-TV... until you needed some peace and quiet to get some work done

My wife and I actually got some hands on practice on our niece during the first Persian Gulf Conflict back in '91. It essentially evolved into a "Good Cop/ Bad Cop" approach in that I watched my wife struggle mightily to verbally convince our niece to do something/ stop acting out, and when my wife finally gave up, I stepped in and made it very clear what I expected of her. Our niece wised up real quick as to who she could twist around her little finger, but to this day 13 years later, she gravitates towards the person who was more strict with her.....
Oh yeah, and if you do decide to "punish" your kid at that phase of development you are describing, change the diaper before doing so: considering how absorbant diapers are, spanking a kid with a full diaper proves to the child just how impotent spanking really is.....


D

[Alexander's Horse]

I just whack my kids - saves a lot of time.

[Tamerlin]

Originally posted by JohnT
Yeah, but the dogs don't lie.

Only by oversight...