Apolyton opening sentence contest (revisited)

[Boris Godunov]

"Like an overripe beefsteak tomato rimmed with cottage cheese, Santa's corpse lay sprawled across the seedy hotel room floor."

(Yes, it's plagiarized, but I still think it's the best opening sentence ever!)

[Theben]

Originally posted by Lonestar
"It's another Beautiful day in Lake Wobegon."

whilst thou plagarize a radio program?

[JohnT]

Wasn't it book before a radio program?

[Immortal Wombat]

Sure it wasn't the best plan, it involved too many levers, tripwires and guns made of rusty nails, but under the circumstances it was the best I could do.

[Sandman]

As the end came, the screams were drowned out by sound of rushing water.

[monolith94]

She grabbed him by the collar and pulled him across a lobby floor, were she pushed him to his knees; she let her fingers run through his thick hair and smiled.


"I'll be interested to see if you can find another non-literature forum that has a higher proportion of published writers than CG does."

It's a jab, Laz. Acol shut down, so it was all that remained... Calm thyself down.

Also, I forgot to mention that I have now been published in my college's literary review thingy, which is, I suppose, a bit more presitigious than my High School's, were everyone got in...

[Q Classic]

So there I was, about to be thrown out of a helicopter, when I got a message.

[Starchild]

Just when I thought Monday was bad, Tuesday taught me that you really don't get any satisfaction from seeing your hometown, with its highschool bullies and bigoted rednecks, incinerated in nuclear fire.

[Whaleboy]

"For some reason, I found myself only able to deffacate whilst under a great degree of agony this morning. Two sets of mens clothing and an empty bottle of vodka lay by the table in the lounge, a table whose surface can only be described as smeared."

[Capt Dizle]

Originally posted by Whaleboy
"For some reason, I found myself only able to deffacate whilst under a great degree of agony this morning. Two sets of mens clothing and an empty bottle of vodka lay by the table in the lounge, a table whose surface can only be described as smeared."

Sentence, singular. Amazing the number of people who can't read but think they can write.

[PLATO]

The man leaned back into the cool grass after another fun filled picnic outing when suddenly a sail appeared on the Horizon shattering all hope for peace.

(Yes, I am playing an archipeligo game right now!)

[Capt Dizle]

Originally posted by PLATO
The man leaned back into the cool grass after another fun filled picnic outing when suddenly a sail appeared on the Horizon shattering all hope for peace.

(Yes, I am playing an archipeligo game right now!)

The capital H leads one to believe that the Horizon is a ship. The string "another fun filled picnic outing" is so bad it makes the teeth grind.

The last two words could be dropped. I can't go more than 3/10 for this one.

[Urban Ranger]

The stone door slided open silently, revealing a very large room permeated with a soft white light.

[JohnT]

slided?

"Everbody knows that God protects fools and drunks, what they don't know is that he also takes a liking to crackwhores like my mother."

[Winston]

Tsk, tsk. Traditionally, a good story should contain equal amounts of religion, aristocracy, mystery and romance.

So basically, an opening sentence along the lines of "God Almighty", cried the countess, "how on Earth did I get pregnant?" would be ideal.