question for the married/long term relationship folks

[Urban Ranger]

Women generally have sex on a much lower priority than men. You said you haven't had sex in 4 weeks, how does that affect you as a whole? Are you in the relation for sex or for your SO?

[Bugs ****ing Bunny]

Re: question for the married/long term relationship folks

Originally posted by MRT144
whats the longest youve gone without making love?

6 weeks- after the birth of our kid.

[Bosh]

Good chance it might be the stress, do some different and nice with a back massage, nice dinner, the works to try to make her forget about that. I feel for you man, I start getting cranky when its been 4 days (which happens every week, goddam LDR )....

edit: hmmmmm or maybe spend a little less time together, there seems to be a bizarre inverse relationship between the amount of time couples spend together and how much sex gets had.

[Lord Merciless]

Ten weeks, because I have to go to a grad school in a different city.

My wife didn't want to have sex with me before marriage, and we had lived together for six months before marrying.

[Rex Little]

4 weeks is a long time in the context of a 4-month relationship, but not if you've been married awhile. I don't remember exactly when my last time was, but I think it was over a year ago. I know I'm 0 for 2003.

[JohnT]

whats the longest youve gone without making love? and this means from one time to another. right now its been almost 4 weeks and its so frustrating and i just dont know what to do. we have talked about it and she says she just isnt in the mood, and that our relationship doesnt need it so much because we are so close.

Laura and I went through a year long period where we didn't do it because of a really long and painful bout with endometriosis - and when it was all said and done, our wedding date was just 2 months away so we were like "what the hell, we might as well wait."

[Imran Siddiqui]

I've probably gone longer while in an LTR, but not much longer. Typically, a lack of sex in a relationship points to other problems in the relationship. It might for instance just be her, but the odds are that it involves you to some degree. It could be a million things, and she may not even be aware of exactly what it is herself. Your mission is to figure out what the deal is while simultaneously keeping a good "can-do" attitude about the relationship and not pi$$ing your gf off.

I concur. This points to another problem, IMO. This is definetly not normal behavior. If she 'isn't in the mood' there is something that happened.

[MRT144]

i will try to do more romanitical type things, i do give her lots of massages already, but perhaps ill do some more elemental and mood sort of stuff. for right now im just not gonna stress about it though, because i figure that itll happen again when it does...

perhaps im just growing a bit apathetic

[Ben Kenobi]

Well, I haven't slept with mine, by mutual consent. We've been dating for close to 8 months.

and that our relationship doesnt need it so much because we are so close.

This section worries me. You said that you have enjoyed sleeping with her before so something has changed.

Stress may be a problem, I know it would be between my girlfriend and I, if we were at that point in our relationship, annd we were both as busy as we have been.

The suggestion of massages, etc. are good. Keep her mind off of school.

[Richelieu]

She may be testing you. I know i will surprise the hell out of you but women can be devious sometimes...

[Imran Siddiqui]

Well he doesn't need that sort of test .

[Snotty]

When you were having sex, how long did your foreplay last? Do you have non-penetrative sexual contact now? What I mean is do you fool around, or can you bring her to orgasm just by masturbating her, or oral. Thats certain to de-stress her if thats the problem. You may have to do it this way for a little while.

If shes complaining about being sore after sex then you need to take that into account when you do get it again. Some lube works wonders, and try not to thrust as fast/hard. I guess she has not had a lot of sex before? If shes badly sore afterwards then its going to put her off doing it again, so you should try what you can to help.

A previous gf of mine found sex painful and we had to go through all sorts of stuff with the gyno to sort it out, all that time without sex. Everyone else says that you should be cool and liberal with it, but I know how tough it can get, and how much it can mess with your head. Its possible shes got a deeper problem and youve got to try to keep it together to help her get through this.

[aaglo]

I've been with my girl for 4 years in the new years eve.

The longest time without sex might be between 4 to 6 weeks - mainly because she's studying in another city, 160 km from my home. And that's partially because she had her period when we saw each other in the middle. I don't find it awkward to have sex while period, but she does... I don't know if that's normal (on either point of wiev).

[Spec]

Imo, 3 options

1 - She's a lesbian
2 - You suck in bed but stays with you cuz she loves you (women dont want any if they dont com)
3- She doesn't love you anymore.

I would bet 100$ that it's one of those reasons.

And for these things, I am usually right.

It's a gift.

Spec.

[aaglo]

Originally posted by JohnT
Laura...

What a beautiful and perfect name for the of one's life