I Need Jokes!!

[lord of the mark]

Originally posted by Whaleboy
A duck walks into a bar and says to the barman, "Have you got any bread?"

The barman says "no".

The duck stops for a second and says "Have you got any bread?"

The barman says "No, this is a bar, we have no bread"

The duck looks around and says "Have you got any bread?"

The barman, looking a bit irritated says "No, we have no bread"

The duck looks curious and says "Have you got any bread?"

The barman, his face red says "NO, WE HAVE NO BREAD, IF YOU SAY THAT ONE MORE TIME, I'M GOING TO NAIL YOU FVCKING BEAK TO THE WALL!!!"

The duck looks at him for a second and says "Have you got any nails?"

The barman says "No"

The duck pauses and says "Have you got any bread?"

Obviously the duck wanted to say motzi and make shabbos. He went to a bar cause he knew theyd have wine, but wanted to make sure theyd also have bread. Smart little critter.

BTW, whaleboy, how are you?

[self biased]

:roots around in old issues of playboy for more jokes:

[Whaleboy]

I'm great LOTM, and yourself?

[Pekka]

What do you get when you cross mathematician and programmer? Fat nerd.



I'm on fire tonigh!

[lord of the mark]

Originally posted by Whaleboy
I'm great LOTM, and yourself?

baruch hashem.

[Japher]

One I probably shouldn't say:

What do you get when you cross a black guy with a mexican? - Some one who is too lazy to steal...

[self biased]

so long as people realize that it's only a joke, i think we'll be okay. i've got a whole litany of polish jokes. and guess where the majority of my heritage comes from?

[Whaleboy]

baruch hashem

This is OT, not bedtime prayers .

[Japher]

I need some good white guy bashing jokes...

[self biased]

a huge black guy walks into a bar, and sits down in a stool next to a white guy. he looks over to him and says "i'm big, i'm black, and i just love to have sex with little white women" terrified, the man downs his beer in one gulp and runs out of the bar.

the black guy moves over to another white guy and says "i'm big i'm black, and i just love to have sex with little white women." the man downs his whiskey and runs out the bar.

the black guy then sits next to a polack. "i'm big, i'm black, and i just love to have sex with little white women."

the polack sips his beer and responds: "i don't blame you. i wouldn't touch those black ones either."

[Inverse Icarus]

i'm not feeling like getting banned today. i kinda have a streak going right now

[Commie Chocobo]

wow...

[Brundlefly]

What do you call a quadropalegic....

... in the bathtub?

Bob.

... in a ditch?

Phil.

... at the door?

Matt.

Two quadropalegics leaning against the wall?

Curt and Rod.



Thanks. I'll be here all week folks.

[Pekka]

What do you call a white fat chick?

You don't call! She might call you back!


YEAH! And it's ALL MINE!

[Brundlefly]

Q: What do you call an anorexic girl with a yeast infection?

A: Quarter Pounder with Cheese.