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I desperately need the old joke about how many forum members are needed to change a light bulb. You know, the joke where the first posts a message that he's changed a light bulb, and the thread goes on an on and on. Please give me a link to the joke!
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how many cbeast!s are required to change a lightbulb?B♭3 -
Hmm, never saw that one.
But it's an opportunity to post one of my favorite light bulb changing jokes.
How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?
Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is
young, we've got our whole
lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a
stupid burned-out
light
bulb?
Border Collie: Just one. And I'll replace any wiring
that's not up to code.
Dachshund: I can't reach the stupid lamp!
Toy Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border collie's ear and
he'll do it. By
the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will
be dry.
Rottweiler: Go Ahead! Make me!
Shi-tzu: Puh-leeze, dah-ling. Let the servants. . .
Labrador: Oh, me, me!!! Pleeeeeeze let me change the
light bulb! Can I? Can
I? Huh? Huh? Can I?
Malamute: Let the Border collie do it. You can feed me
while he's busy.
Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the
carpet in the dark.
Doberman Pinscher: While it's dark, I'm going to
sleep on the couch.
Mastiff: Mastiffs are NOT afraid of the dark.
Hound Dog: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb.
Irish Wolfhound: Can somebody else do it? I've got a
hangover.
Pointer: I see it, there it is, right there...
Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?
Australian Shepherd: Put all the light bulbs in a little circle...
English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? LIGHT BULB? That
thing I just ate was a LIGHT
BULB?It's almost as if all his overconfident, absolutist assertions were spoonfed to him by a trusted website or subreddit. Sheeple
RIP Tony Bogey & Baron OComment
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Thanks, rah! That was good too.
I found the one I was looking for:
Tampabay Road Runner User Home Pages
(Isn't Google just marvellous!)Comment
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How Many _____Does It Take To Change A Light Bulb?
Charismatics - Only one: Hands already in the air.
Catholics - None. They use candles.
Baptists - CHANGE??!!??!!
Pentecostals - Ten. One to change, nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.
Presbyterians - None. God has predestined when the lights will be on and off.
Episcopalians - Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine to say how much they liked the old one.
United Methodists - We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey, you have found that a light bulb works for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your personal relationship with your light bulb, and present it next month at our annual light bulb Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence through Jesus Christ.
Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.
"Hating America is something best left to Mobius. He is an expert Yank hater.
He also hates Texans and Australians, he does diversify." ~ BraindeadComment
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Quakers: As many as it takes until the Spirit moves someone to actually change the bulb.B♭3Comment
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Programmers: None. It's a hardware problemComment
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Hardware Vendors: None. It's either your fault or the warranty's expired.B♭3Comment
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Men - One. He just holds the lightbulb up to the ceiling and waits for the world to revolve around him
Desperados of the world, unite. You have nothing to lose but your dignity.......
07849275180Comment
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How many Apolyton Moderators does it take to change a lightbulb?
Ask in the community forum. CASE CLOSED.Jon Miller: MikeH speaks the truth
Jon Miller: MikeH is a shockingly revolting dolt and a masturbatory urine-reeking sideshow freak whose word is as valuable as an aging cow paddy.
We've got both kindsComment
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you forgot to lock the thread.
B♭3Comment
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How many women on PMS does is take to change a lightbulb?
One. One I tell ya! Why? BECUASE THE STUPID MAN IS TOO LAZY TO DO ANYTHING BUT SIT THERE ON THE COUCH WATCHING FOOTBALL DRINKING BEER AND GETTING EVER FATTER BY THE SECOND!!! AND ANOTHER THING I'M NOT FAT, AT LEAST NOT LIKE HIM, YOU TRY HAVING TWO KIDS AND NOT GETTING FAT!!! YOU STUPID, LAZY, WORTHLESS PEICE OFF SHEIT! I HATE YOU AND EVERYTHING YOU STAND FOR!!!.... So, what was the question again?Comment
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Mennonites:
What's a lightbulb?
Scouse Git (2) La Fayette Adam Smith Solomwi and Loinburger will not be forgotten.
"Remember the night we broke the windows in this old house? This is what I wished for..."
2015 APOLYTON FANTASY FOOTBALL CHAMPION!Comment
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Freudian psychlogists:
Two. One to hold the ladder and another to actually change the penis....I mean, lightbulb."Paul Hanson, you should give Gibraltar back to the Spanish" - Paiktis, dramatically over-estimating my influence in diplomatic circles.
Eyewerks - you know you want to visit. No really, you do. Go on, click me.Comment
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Originally posted by MikeH
How many Apolyton Moderators does it take to change a lightbulb?
Ask in the community forum. CASE CLOSED.
There have been a lot of good ones posted. Quite entertaining.It's almost as if all his overconfident, absolutist assertions were spoonfed to him by a trusted website or subreddit. Sheeple
RIP Tony Bogey & Baron OComment
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