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Growing up in an irreligious household.

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  • #16
    I don't see why you want to bring your daughter up in a "religious" household, partiuclarly if it is only a charade. How would she react when she finds that out? Not pretty I'd imagine.

    If your goal is to show her morals, you are best off teach her by examples (on second thought, Mr Thruston isn't exactly a pillar of paragon ). Deception and/or hypocrisy are not good virtues to learn at an early stage.
    Last edited by Urban Ranger; August 31, 2003, 22:46.
    (\__/) 07/07/1937 - Never forget
    (='.'=) "Claims demand evidence; extraordinary claims demand extraordinary evidence." -- Carl Sagan
    (")_(") "Starting the fire from within."

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    • #17
      Yep, monkey see monkey do is a good tenet.
      -30-

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      • #18
        Leave it to her. People have an amazing ability to find faith on their own, when they need it. Whether or not that faith is in God should be her decision.

        I was raised in an irreligious environment, and I don't think I'm any worse for it. In fact, I think I have an objectivity that many of the people I come into contact with lack due to their own religious upbringing.
        "Beauty is not in the face...Beauty is a light in the heart." - Kahlil Gibran
        "The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved; loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves" - Victor Hugo
        "It is noble to be good; it is still nobler to teach others to be good -- and less trouble." - Mark Twain

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        • #19
          I'm like the opposite of Asher,

          I was raised in an unreligious household but later became a christian
          I noticed that at the church I went to I seemed to have a much stronger faith than those 'raised' in it, I was also much more willing to question and probe the belief system.

          As a parent now (12, 9 and 2 year old children) I would definately not force them (or even massivlely encourage them) to be religious - I believe that they can find it on their own.
          19th Century Liberal, 21st Century European

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          • #20
            I think being brought up on "Religion Lite" gives you enough knowledge about religion and religious people to see them from a better perspective, it also allows you to question religions, understand it, and draw conclusions about it in an informed manner. One thing that I really don't like is when people (religious and atheist) make judgements about a religion by taking things out of context, or taking things that are just plain wrong or inconsequential out of it. In this way being brought up softly religiously (i.e being educated but not taken over by it) can mitigate religious prejudice, in my opinion.
            One day Canada will rule the world, and then we'll all be sorry.

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            • #21
              X>·
              -30-

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              • #22
                Religion serves two functions, one practical (a moral framework for acceptable behavior) and one spiritual (to tackle humanity's belief or questions about the meaning of life and the feelings that there's 'something' out there).

                The first function is reproducible without religion - teach the kid the proper way to behave. You don't need to believe Jesus is the Messiah to understand that you should do unto others as you would have them do unto you. So, teach her right and it'll help her develop into a fulfilled and productive person.

                The second is best taught (IMO) by taking a completely neutral approach and teaching about different religions and belief systems. Start slow and work your way up - most kids can't even really fathom the concept of something like God or infinity until they're quite a bit older (which, sadly, is why a lot of early religious 'instruction' is more akin to indoctrination than instruction). She will naturally begin to ask questions when she thinks to ask where the universe came from and what happens when we die. Encourage her to investigate on her own, but teach her enough to give her a start.

                Alternatively, you can provide basic instruction in the religion best known to you and your wife, or, if you do have any convictions, the religion you feel the warmest toward. Just don't hammer it into her, and don't each it as the TRUTH. You can raise her with a lightly religious background to fulfill whatever needs may arise, but that is loose enough to allow questions and the possibility that her feelings may evolve and she may choose another (or no) faith.

                Since you claim neither you nor your wife has any real religious inclinations, I'd go with the first, more neutral approach.

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                • #23
                  "Religion serves two functions, one practical (a moral framework for acceptable behavior) and one spiritual (to tackle humanity's belief or questions about the meaning of life and the feelings that there's 'something' out there)."

                  We also have some damn fine potlucks.
                  "mono has crazy flow and can rhyme words that shouldn't, like Eminem"
                  Drake Tungsten
                  "get contacts, get a haircut, get better clothes, and lose some weight"
                  Albert Speer

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                  • #24
                    I was VERY religious untill I was 15, then I became old enough to form my own beliefs and came to the conclusion that religion was a buch of bullocks (especially after 9/11 for some reason). I also turned from a Libertarian into a Commie. Unfortunatly I live in a very conservative rural town, I am afraid of being ostricized if a lot of townspeople learn that I am an athiest, and a commie; I have to be careful about who I talk to.

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                    • #25
                      I was totally spiritually apathetic for the vast majority of my childhood. I went to church, but the vast majority of stuff rolled over me like water off a duck's back. As I went through High School though, and I matured, I became a bit more spiritual and understanding of the concepts. I'm happy now that I was raised in a supportive church community, now that I have all the memories. Also, as I encountered more cruelty in the world, my resolve to be a good person strengthened.

                      Of couse, a Congregationalist upbringing is hardly as intense as Catholicism... damn papists!
                      "mono has crazy flow and can rhyme words that shouldn't, like Eminem"
                      Drake Tungsten
                      "get contacts, get a haircut, get better clothes, and lose some weight"
                      Albert Speer

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                      • #26
                        I have a feeling that, when it comes to the Bible, we'll say "Here: Read this and pay attention to this part, this part, and this part. Ignore this, it's boring. And this, this, and this is just flat out wrong. Enjoy, and get back to us in a few months."



                        I do think the idea that it is wrong for a believing adult to inculcate their child into their religion (as has been argued to me on another board) is bizarre and kinda obliterates half the purpose of parenthood - to raise your child in the manner that you see fit. If you believe in religion, teach the kid religion - after all, none of you are going to resist teaching your child about the importance of "critical thinking" and "thinking for yourself", etc. After all, that's what y'all "believe" in, isn't it?

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                        • #27
                          But religion is a waste of time and only serves as building some kind of crutch and escapehatch to use instead of being a man and finding your own morals and beliefs.
                          "The issue is there are still many people out there that use religion as a crutch for bigotry and hate. Like Ben."
                          Ben Kenobi: "That means I'm doing something right. "

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                          • #28
                            Not to mention the pedophile priests, the money laundering ministers, and the *****y choir women.
                            "The issue is there are still many people out there that use religion as a crutch for bigotry and hate. Like Ben."
                            Ben Kenobi: "That means I'm doing something right. "

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                            • #29
                              JohnT: Yes. I am not familiar with being a parent, but as a Catholic, it is definitely your duty to raise her spiritually as well as a physically and mentally, it is your duty to bring her up in the faith. When she is older she will be in a better position to choose to continue in her faith or not, but while chidren are young they need to be instructed on religion. If you feel inequipped to ever discuss any matters, check what religious education services they have at your parish, and consider enrolling her in CCD.

                              Of course, Apolyton is a forum that is largely athiest and can be rather hostile to religion. It isn't the best place to go for advice on matters religious, it is far better to discuss your concerns with a priest.
                              "I'm moving to the Left" - Lancer

                              "I imagine the neighbors on your right are estatic." - Slowwhand

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                              • #30
                                Originally posted by Shi Huangdi
                                JohnT: Yes. I am not familiar with being a parent, but as a Catholic, it is definitely your duty to raise her spiritually as well as a physically and mentally, it is your duty to bring her up in the faith. When she is older she will be in a better position to choose to continue in her faith or not, but while chidren are young they need to be instructed on religion. If you feel inequipped to ever discuss any matters, check what religious education services they have at your parish, and consider enrolling her in CCD.
                                I think my bullsh!t detector just went off. Go back in to your little bigoted wonderland, you papist.

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