Growing up in an irreligious household.

[JohnT]

My wife and I were discussing religious education in regards to our 2 year old daughter and, well, we have a dilemma:

We aren't really religious. At all.

We both were raised Catholic (her family was more devout than mine, but then, most families are more devout than mine) and, like many kids, drifted away as we got older. I can't speak for her, but for me, even as a kid being "good" wasn't something I did because I was concerned that God or Jesus or Allah was going to punish me, I was "good" because it made my life easier, that chosing "right" tended to always be the more long-term pragmatic decision. I have never been concerned with my afterlife - if it exists, it does, if it doesn't, it doesn't.

My wife went through a few years soul searching before she pretty much came to the same conclusions. We still feel it's important to teach Sophie about the Bible in order for her to learn about one of the pillars of Western Civilization, but as the major part of a comprehensive belief system? Uh, no, not interested. Thanks!

Therefore, we were wondering what would be the effects if we raised Sophie (Sophia when she's being naughty) in an irreligious environment and if anybody here has been raised in such an environment. And by "irreligious" I don't mean "Dad was actively atheist and would go on and on about the horrors of religion", more like "my parents didn't really care about all that so we never went to church."

[Skanky Burns]

She should be raised in an irreligious environment due to necessity. How can you force your daughter to believe in something that neither of her parents believe in? That said, I don't think there is any great benefit to raising her in a religious environment.

EDIT: Damn, I'm the first one to vote and I misread the question.
Make that "yes" a "no".

[GePap]

If you raise her to think on her own, take risks, examine her spirituality, and make it clear you love her regardless of her eventual beliefs, and that you shall support her no matter what, there should be absolutely no problems. Either she will on her own gravitate towards one religious sect or another and become faithfull based on HER OWN CHOICE, or not.

Edit, and I had the same probem as skanky..I though the question was whtehr one had been raise in an irreligious household...

* must blame poll maker for own mistakes!

Darn it JohnT, make it clearer!

* there, have shifted blame!

[Sava]

I agree with GePap... teach your daughter to be a critical thinker, while exposing her to all world religions. Give her the choice, don't brainwash her.

[JohnT]

Let me quote:

Should we raise Sophie "religiously"

.

Thank you.

[GePap]

Bah, who ever reads the question oevr the poll!!??/ Why,that's like the fine print!!1

[red_jon]

JohnT, is it rare where you are to raise kids without religion?

I don't see any detrimental effects, you don't need a Bible/Quran to teach children values. Why not teach them about all different religious alternatives?

[JohnT]

... must change location field back to "Knoxville, Tennessee."

Does that answer your question, R_J?

[red_jon]

Pretty much.

It is extremely rare over here for parents to take their kids to church every week. We had a French student stay with us a few years back and his parents insisted we take him to Catholic church every sunday. Got real old, real fast and I was religious myself back then.

[Spiffor]

Re: Growing up in an irreligious household.

Originally posted by JohnT
We still feel it's important to teach Sophie about the Bible in order for her to learn about one of the pillars of Western Civilization, but as the major part of a comprehensive belief system? Uh, no, not interested. Thanks!

The main problem with a "religious" education in the meaning of promoting actively a blelief system (let's call it a "spiritual" education to distinguish it from the rest) is that you'll force Sophie to take a strong position about the issue. Whether she believes or not will affect her relationship to you, will affect her image of you. Besides, that'd force her to accept (at least during her first years) a religion without free will, without the ability to decide whether it's right or wrong. And should she decide it is wrong some years later, the religious issue could really be a trouble (especially for her).

OTOH, to give her an aducation "about religion" is an excellent thing to do. It is as important as teaching her history, or as explaining her the news. Religion has been and remains a very important element in today's mentalities and societies, and she must know about it if you want her to understand the world. That's why I think you shouldn't strictly stick to the Bible, but you should give her hints about other religions as well, if possible.

Therefore, we were wondering what would be the effects if we raised Sophie (Sophia when she's being naughty) in an irreligious environment and if anybody here has been raised in such an environment. And by "irreligious" I don't mean "Dad was actively atheist and would go on and on about the horrors of religion", more like "my parents didn't really care about all that so we never went to church."

I pretty much correspond to what you said. My mother is of Jewish origin, and my father is of Catholic origin. I don't know if they have any shred of belief (my mother told me sometimes she didn't believe, but this might have changed with age), but I never had any spiritual education. Never was I told by my parents that God is real. Besides, I was never christened nor circumsised. However, I learned a bit about religion, and I quickly understood the influence of Judeo-Christian values over the society and over the morale I overall agreed with.

The fact that my parents didn't teach me any debatable "truth" besides morale has made me greatly independent minded. My communist beliefs are not dependent of my parents' ideology (while none of my parents are commies, it was no mindless rebellion either). Besides, I am not blinded into believing anything I read is "truth", even from the party itself. I am sometimes quite gullible because of the trust I give to individual people, but I think that's another trait of character that has nothing to do with it.

I strongly suggest you to raise Sophie with all the knowledge you can give her, but you should force as little "truth" (political or religious) as possible. Let her judge later if something is true or not

[Spiffor]

Oh, and I had no problem with the Poll. My "No" is proper

[FrostyBoy]

My Dad taught me about Evolution and God at the same time, we would both theorise a lot about both things. The conclusion that we both would come up with is that we accepted the fact that there COULD be a God, but neither of us are "God-like" enough to prove that there is or isn't a God, therefore, accepting, that there COULD be a God is the probably the most healthiest thought for the mind in this matter.

Also, for Evolution, we would of course accept that there is change amongst life, and that although Evolution is still in a Theory-Fact transition at this present time, we believed that Evolution is fact. quite easily, but not ruling out the fact that we could be wrong.

Then, when I left home, and had learned many other things in life (I had actually gone to church when I left home, etc, and read up more about Evolution, eductional shows, etc). I had come to the newer and better conclusion that if Evolution is true, that does not mean that God doesn't exist. God, could have created Evolution, for all we know.

So at this point, all this open discussion, freedom to ponder, freedom to theorise, has helped me to make a FAIR and HONEST belief of what COULD BE, and to NOT rule out possibilities.

So if I was you, I would teach your children to be open about thought, and don't shut them out of things that you believe are wrong. For example, if you hate the KKK, that doesn't mean you shouldn't explain your children about the KKK. (of course, they would have to be old enough to understand at least a little bit). But when you do explain things, I wouldn't TRY to lean them towards what YOU BELIEVE is right. But rather tell them what you THINK is right. I think it is bad to have your children become fanatical about a certain belief.

[st_swithin]

Like not smoking.

[red_jon]

And not stabbing the neighbours.

[Asher]

I was raised Protestant until I was 12 when I was allowed not to go to church.

Best thing that ever happened to me.