Apolyton's unofficial experts.

[The Mad Monk]

Explains a lot, dosen't it?

[Bugs ****ing Bunny]

Good song, though.

(Spoken)
Folks, I'd like to sing a song about the American Dream. About me. About you. The way our American hearts beat down in the bottom of our chests. About the special feeling we get in the cockles of our hearts, maybe below the cockles, maybe in the sub-cockle area. Maybe in the liver. Maybe in the kidneys. Maybe even in the colon, we don't know.
I'm just a regular Joe with a regular job
I'm your average white suburbanite slob
I like football and porno and books about war
I've got an average house with a nice hardwood floor
My wife and my job, my kids and my car
My feet on my table, and a cuban cigar

But sometimes that just ain't enough to keep a man like me interested
(Oh no) No Way (Uh-uh)
No, I've gotta go out and have fun
At someone else's expense
(Oh yeah) Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

I drive really slow in the ultrafast lane
While people behind me are going insane

I'm an ******* (He's an *******, what an *******)
I'm an ******* (He's an *******, such an *******)

I use public toilets and piss on the seat
I walk around in the summertime saying, "How about this heat?"

I'm an ******* (He's an *******, what an *******)
I'm an ******* (He's the world's biggest *******)

Sometimes I park in handicapped spaces
While handicapped people make handicapped faces

I'm an ******* (He's an *******, what an *******)
I'm an ******* (He's a real ****ing *******)

Maybe I shouldn't be singing this song
Ranting and raving and carrying on
Maybe they're right when they tell me I'm wrong

Naaaah!

I'm an ******* (He's an *******, what an *******)
I'm an ******* (He's the world's biggest *******)

(Spoken)
You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna get myself a 1967 Cadillac El Dorado convertible, hot pink with whaleskin hub caps and all leather cow interior and big brown baby seal eyes for headlights, yeah! And I'm gonna drive around in that baby at 115mph getting one mile per gallon, sucking down quarter pounder cheese burgers from McDonald's in the old-fashioned non-biodegradable styrofoam containers and when I'm done sucking down those grease ball burgers, I'm gonna wipe my mouth with the American flag and then I'm gonna toss the styrofoam container right out the side and there ain't a God damned thing anybody can do about it. You know why? Because we got the bombs, that's why.

Two words. Nuclear ****ing weapons, okay?! Russia, Germany, Romania - they can have all the Democracy they want. They can have a big democracy cake-walk right through the middle of Tiananmen square and it won't make a lick of difference because we've got the bombs, okay?! John Wayne's not dead - he's frozen. And as soon as we find the cure for cancer we're gonna thaw out the duke and he's gonna be pretty pissed off. You know why? Have you ever taken a cold shower? Well multiple that by 15-million times, that's how pissed off the Duke's gonna be. I'm gonna get the Duke and John Cassavetes...
(Hey)
and Lee Marvin
(Hey)
and Sam Pekinpah
(Hey)
And a case of Whiskey and drive down to Texas...
(Hey, you know you really are an *******)
Why don't you just shut-up and sing the song pal!

I'm an ******* (He's an *******, what an *******)
I'm an ******* (He's the world's biggest *******)

A-S-S-H-O-L-E Everybody! A-S-S-H-O-L-E

(Barking)
Arf Arf Arf Arf Arf Arf Arf
Fung achng tum a fung tum a fling chum
Oooh Oooh

(Spoken)
I'm an ******* and proud of it!

[Evil Knevil]

Oooo, oooo, I love this game

Gonzo Journalism. Gatekeeper does the real thing, I get my assistant to chat up dirty old men so that they give me information about a local murder

Neurology, Neuropsychology.... Still interested in this subject after my 'top-class' (tm) degree. I haven't dissected stoned rats for no reason.... honestly!

[st_swithin]

Originally posted by Lazarus and the Gimp


Your Dad's Denis Leary?

I WISH!!

[Boris Godunov]

Originally posted by Shi Huangdi
SHif HUangdi- ASSKICIKING EXPERT!

Certainly not the spelling expert, however.

[Dinner]

That's because he's our drinking expert.

[Lefty Scaevola]

Originally posted by st_swithin
I feel forgotten and neglected. What am I, yesterday's news?

Post some nice pictures of yourself wand you will be the center of attention to these geeks for a week.

[Inverse Icarus]

st_swithin: resident attention whore.

[Solly]

As such Uber, are you surprised about the divorce?

[Boris Godunov]

Originally posted by Oerdin
That's because he's our drinking expert.

I thought that was GP a.k.a. TCO?

[Spiffor]

Originally posted by Odin
Spiffor?

No, I'm no expert in the EU. HershOstropoler / Roland is. (Well, I may be the expert of the European Parliament, since I worked there, and I should work there again)

If anything, I'm an expert of Paris. And even there, my knowledge is lacking.

[Ben Kenobi]

Krazyhorse, Rogan Josh are the physics experts. I'm not sure what degrees they have.

What about DanS?

I'll vote Agathon as the resident philosophy expert while donning my flamesuit.

And thanks Shi. I just hope that people have found what I say helpful.

[Makeo]

Originally posted by Boris Godunov


I thought that was GP a.k.a. TCO?

They are both amateurs.

[Agathon]

Originally posted by obiwan18

I'll vote Agathon as the resident philosophy expert while donning my flamesuit.

If it's Greek philosophy I'd claim it, but there is at least one person on here with a philosophy PhD and it isn't me.

[Ben Kenobi]

Agathon:

Did you like the essay you asked to see?