Hilarious AI Quotes

[Lucarse]

Best one i saw was the response YOU culd give to the AI
After they catch you probing their borders

'Err we were just out on manoeuvres, yeah thats the ticket ...manoeuvres....'

Hilarious!.

[miccofl]

This had to be seen to be believed… Is it just me, or could Hannibal be a bearded lady?

[SultanofATL]

This one is really cheap but I can't help, but to giggle when I see it...me asking the AI for an RP:

"Nope. Not gonna do it. Wouldn't be prudent at this juncture."

I can just hear Dana Carvey everytime

[CerberusIV]

The best one I've seen so far was from the Russians.

I am well on the way to a domination victory. I can't remember the full text but Catherine ended by saying:

"if you have finished, I would like to go home and shoot myself now"

[werdhertz]

The Cartheginians had a real good one...

"Contrary to propoganda from my enemy, i am not a cannibal"

cuz his name is hannibal..AHAHAHAHA

[Jaybe]

As the Greeks I'm losing a long, drawn-out defensive war with my next door neighbors, the Carthags, who ... (well, he's started the U.N., and I am trying to get corporation). His tanks, bombers and battleships vs. my infantry, guerillas, artillery and occasional ironclad.

I'm finally changing governments, and I ask (no, BEG) Lincoln for Communism in exchange for World Map. I've got a negative cash flow out the kazoo and nothing to offer.

Abe's response is "This offer seems to be a bit one-sided, Alexander. Well, a LOT one-sided, actually. We decline, with thanks."

--
First extended defensive war I have played in quite some time. The bombardment graphic effects (battle animations ON) in PTW are fun, effective and informative. The AI strategy of terrain improvement bombardment actually takes effect after awhile, disrupting communications, etc.

[vmxa1]

They seem to hold communism as sacrosanct and do not like to give it up cheaply. I guess that is fair as Police Stations are useful.

[Naiveplayer]

Lincoln once scaled a bluff of mine with this stupid quote:

"With friends like you, who needs enemies? We decline"

Xerses also scaled a bluff, saying:

"The jackal does not dictate terms to the lion. We refuse your squalid demands"

[Jaybe]

Originally posted by Naiveplayer
Lincoln once scaled a bluff of mine with this stupid quote:

"With friends like you, who needs enemies? We decline"
...

He said that to me too when I increased my offer for communism to "world map PLUS 8 gold" (all that I had left) with a cash flow of -48gpt.

[aaglo]

Lincoln said to me yesterday something like this (I don't remember the beginning)

"Now go away before I forget myself and do something rural and picturesque!"

[Naiveplayer]

Originally posted by Jaybe

He said that to me too when I increased my offer for communism to "world map PLUS 8 gold" (all that I had left) with a cash flow of -48gpt.

Wow. What could have gone wrong? It wasn't a gpt deal, and he was getting a world map along with the bargin...

[Mad Bomber]

quote:

He said that to me too when I increased my offer for communism to "world map PLUS 8 gold" (all that I had left) with a cash flow of -48gpt.



Wow. What could have gone wrong? It wasn't a gpt deal, and he was getting a world map along with the bargin...

This is a second response and is actually an improvement over the previous offer.

I'm finally changing governments, and I ask (no, BEG) Lincoln for Communism in exchange for World Map. I've got a negative cash flow out the kazoo and nothing to offer.

Abe's response is "This offer seems to be a bit one-sided, Alexander. Well, a LOT one-sided, actually. We decline, with thanks."

If he had asked what he would accept for communisim he would have gotten a response of " I don't see how we can wrok this out" or something to that effect. In short he has nothing to offer the AI that the AI will accept.

[Jaybe]

Peace in Our Time -- NOT!

Japan and Carthage are warring on me. Carthage is bearing the brunt of the offensive, with Japan basically providing bombardment support (battleships).

Japan offers Peace for all my gold +12gpt -- to me that is of no value whatsoever, so I give a counterproposal: Peace and THEY give ME Steel. Japan's response:

"What! You have the gall to offer Japan THIS?!? No! No! No! A thousand times, NO! Somebody hold me back before I gut this jackal!"

--

If he had asked what he would accept for communisim he would have gotten a response of " I don't see how we can wrok this out" or something to that effect. In short he has nothing to offer the AI that the AI will accept.

Mad Bomber, DON'T YOU THINK I KNOW THAT??!
I don't have ANYTHING! And my number of cities diminishes every few turns.

Under monarchy, there IS an advantage to losing a town that once was a metropolis: Your maintenance costs go way down, resulting in a net profit ... for as much time as my Greece will live to enjoy it.

[Mad Bomber]

Re: Peace in Our Time -- NOT!

Originally posted by Jaybe

Mad Bomber, DON'T YOU THINK I KNOW THAT??!
I don't have ANYTHING! And my number of cities diminishes every few turns.

Jaybe:

I was just explaining your situation to Niaveplayer, no offense intended.

Chck out this quote by Ghandi, after I demanded silks from him (AI's never learn):

[Jaybe]

I was just explaining your situation to Niaveplayer, no offense intended.

It's okay. I was playing the game at the time, and I had to let off some steam.
I determined some time ago that I was NOT going to quit this game, that I would stick it out for the experience.