Hilarious AI Quotes

[mrmitchell]

I know there's probably been threads like this before and there is one on Civfanatics, but PtW will have some new hilarious quotes and I just gotta get this out before I get any more brain damage ROFL and hitting my head on things...

Mongol Leader (Who is he? I really dont care I just refer to them all as "[Civ] Leader" except for my favorite Xerxes.)

Anyway, Mongol says: "Ignorance of Mongol borders is yet another reason to question American breeding habits."

(paraphrased due to the brain damage already sustained from ROFL and hitting htings)

If you don't find this funny then please keep it in, maybe I just think its funny.

Please post your own hilarious quotes, especially those from PtW!

[vmxa1]

To bad this was not up yeserday as I ran into one that cracked me up and now I forgot it.

[Tattila the Hun]

Elisabeth complained that my terible little soldiers were stealing chicken...

[Tiberius]

... and scaring their women. Yeah, that's a nice one (but not from PtW)

[Alex]

I like that one where Montezuma says he will sacrifice dozens of warriors to celebrate our friendship... which is also not from PTW (I don't own the game yet).

[Minmaster]

ive disbanded dozens of warriors to celebrate going broke.

[aaglo]

"well DUH! I thought we were supposed to kick you from this planet"

- other leaders after space race victory

[punkbass2000]

"Would you like to trade or would you rather instead battle to the death?" -Montezuma, on polite

[mrmitchell]

Mongol: "I could only agree to this deal if I knock myself bloody with a rock. I am out all out of rocks and you are virtually out of time."

Mongol: "Perhaps if you spent more time listening to your advisors and less time haunting houses of ill-repute you'd see the insult in such an offer."

Various Conquest Defeat
-------------------------------
"Two words: Wait 'til next time!"
"I got trounced, and all these clowns just watched..."
"I'll bet you 100 gold that you cant do it again!"
"Oh yeah? You and what army? Oh...right."
"What! I couldn't have possibly lost! You must have cheated!"

[dudemanjack]

I got this one from Abe Lincoln while in the early industrial ages when asking for a loan of gold: "I'm sorry, but all our money is tied up in dot-com stocks."

[Pyrodrew]

"Three words: increase your medication..."

[alva]

Stop doing that !!

[Vlad Antlerkov]

Just about anything Mao says, but his quotes on completing a trade ("Like a mighty castle, our friendship will survive, even if the heavens rain, er, very large rocks on it!") and offering an MPP ("An ancient Chinese philosopher said, 'One is the loneliest number'.")...

And then there's the foreign advisor after a Conquest victory, saying "Make more friends." Genius! And of course, the trade advisor saying we don't have enough resources when we have EVERY RESOURCE ON THE PLANET. (Try setting up a bunch of colonies after a Conquest win over every resource. )

[Sea41571]

I clicked on a barbarian once by accident and he siad "take me To Your Leader"

[CerberusIV]

I am currently playing on a tiny map as the Japanese and have just wiped out the Chinese.

After capturing the last Chinese city the advisor said "We have destroyed the Solid Chinese". SOLID?? Are they made of chocolate or something?

Then I opened a negotiation with the Indians and the advisor popped up and said "Ghandhi has betrayed our friends the Chinese". Friends? I just wiped out their empire