Hilarious AI Quotes

[Pyrodrew]

After capturing the last Chinese city the advisor said "We have destroyed the Solid Chinese". SOLID?? Are they made of chocolate or something?

Then I opened a negotiation with the Indians and the advisor popped up and said "Ghandhi has betrayed our friends the Chinese". Friends? I just wiped out their empire

You've destroyed the Chinese Empire, but you didn't kill the Chinese Leader, Mao. Mao will still be involved in diplomacy & discussions until he's dead. Mao hides in the last unit alive, so if there is a small boat sailing away from China... that's Mao getting away.

[badman]

I don't think it's his last unit, it's his last settler.
You have to capture all cities and all settlers of a civ in order to make it "disappear".

[Vlad Antlerkov]

Actually, "Solid," "weak", etc. refers to the cultural level of the civ that was destroyed. Whether it's absolute culture or relative to your own, I don't know.

[ducki]

My all-time favorite AI quote is the one when Caesar rings you up on the diplomacy-phone saying something like "Dat's a pretty little empire you got dere; it would be a shame if something was to happen to it."

I always hear that in my head in a really thick Italian accent(duh, Rome, Italy) - think Sopranos.

Cracks me up every damn time.
I'm laughing just thinking about it.

[Carver]

Military advisor while looking at my largest of armies "Hail to the King, Baby".

An unexpected touch with PTW.

[Carver]

Carthage, on first contact with my Scandanavian superpower...

"I threaten the hierarchy of power that is already forming, Ragnar Lodbrok. A deal with me is to flirt with danger. You're not afraid of a little danger, are you?"

[ruby_maser]

This is a little off topic but yesterday, for some reason, I got the idea of mixing a little Gandhi with Montezuma to get:

Would you like a little vegetarian curry or maybe we could go to war until one of us in wiped off the earth?

I think I had to paraphrase Montezuma's a bit, but I would just find it amusing to hear someone a peaceful as Gandhi say something like that

[Tattila the Hun]

Caesar once said, something like "Rome is in a urgent need of assistance, pleace arrange for the swift dispatch of the following" or similar. First this happened, I gave him what he wanted, thinking, "Hey, if he asks nicely for my help, sure" But then he naturally replied something like "You know your place in world/as Roman vassal/etc. Pissed me off!

[mrmitchell]

Multiple times, as I go into Viking territory w/ no war and no RoP, they say to protest "We have spotted [city name]..."
For example, once I put a knight next to Trondheim and he sez, "We have spotted Trondheim!..." (I hope he has spotted Trondheim... )

[spy14]

Shaka, on trying to negociate myself the best possible deal - "Perhaps you would like my eldest son as well?"

Xerxes - something like "We are so glad to end this war. Lets say we go and pick on someone smaller than us"

[Kingof the Apes]

Shaka, when beaten down in a war, begging for peace saying

"Your troops are burning our land, eating our chickens, and stealing our women! We really must protect those chickens!"

It was something like that.

[miccofl]

I always wondered about him...

[Bella Hella]

i had a military alliance with hiawatha of the iriquois against the persians. when i called hiawatha up, he said:

"let us smoke the pipe of peace and discuss our battle strategies!!!"

first of all: dude, man, pass it over. second of all, smoke the pipe of PEACE and discuss our BATTLE strategies???

[Bella Hella]

then there's the infamous "all your base...."

[Tattila the Hun]

Anyone noticed, that Xerxes seems quite happy after you've pounded him to pulp?