Hilarious AI Quotes

[Naiveplayer]

"Mao, it is said that a friend is a pearl beyond price. Sounds good to me. Could you sign this contract?" - Lincoln getting me to sign a MPP/ROP agreement.

"Well, we were just dropping by to borrow a cup of rice. But if you're going to take THAT attitude, we will leave at once!"

A couple of funny quotes I stumbled upon.

[Mad Bomber]

MrMitchell wrote:

I would prefer to see the speech happening, because for some reason it's funnier in the game than it is in a text file.

and this post proves his point

Originally posted by justjake73
Taken directly from diplomacy.txt:

"What the world needs now, $PLAYER0, is love: sweet love. Will you extend our peace treaty?"

"My generals inform me that your cute little soldiers have wandered into $CIVADJ6 territory near $CITY3. I trust that they will clean up after themselves when they leave?"

"I'm sorry, $PLAYER0, but I'm refinishing all of the bathrooms in the Winter Palace, and $CIVNAME5 has nothing to spare."

"Convey my regrets to $CIVNAME1, please. We're poorer than a blind drunkard in a crooked poker game.".....

"$CIVNAME3 will not deal with a liar and a treaty-breaker, $PLAYER0. Go now before I create a diplomatic incident on your head with this large rock!"

[King_Henry]

Once when I asked the Celts for a loan of gold and Brennus' reply was something like "I'm sorry, but we are saving up our money for a more religious purpose. Bring on the alcohol!"

[mrmitchell]

Originally posted by Mad Bomber


and this post proves his point

Mad, as soon as I saw the first few words of the second quote I quickly ignored the post as I saw that it was up to no good.

"All your base are belong to us!"

[mrmitchell]

"Mother Russia welcomes you, Joan d'Arc. Are you here only to admire my great beauty, or is there some other purpose to your visit?"

[Jahi]

the domestic advisor once told me (at 3am) "sleep is for the weak!"

[mrmitchell]

Also, it's funny when they capture cities and don't rename them. This has resulted in:

Killtherussianbastards, owned by Russia
Russia Sucks!, owned by Russia
Spanisharelosers, owned by Spain

and countless more.

[badams52]

Just saw one on the victory screen I hadn't seen before: "Well I can't be blamed. I never even met you!"

[Master Zen]

Originally posted by Andrew1999
I got "I'm not even supposed to be here today!" from my Trade Advisor once. Any one else seen this?

Probably worked at the QuikStop before joining your cabinet!



(BTW, actually I haven't seen this)

[The Mad Monk]

Originally posted by miccofl
This had to be seen to be believed… Is it just me, or could Hannibal be a bearded lady?

I don't know but I swear he's trying a come-on when he's 'polite'.

[Vlad Antlerkov]

[Spec]

Originally posted by Pyrodrew




You've destroyed the Chinese Empire, but you didn't kill the Chinese Leader, Mao. Mao will still be involved in diplomacy & discussions until he's dead. Mao hides in the last unit alive, so if there is a small boat sailing away from China... that's Mao getting away.

Wrong, not in the last unit nut in the last settler!

Spec.

[Stuie]

Originally posted by Andrew1999
I got "I'm not even supposed to be here today!" from my Trade Advisor once. Any one else seen this?

Yes!! I almost fell out of my chair laughing. It's the only valuable thing she's ever said.

And to be exact, I think it's displayed as:

"I'm not even supposed to be here today."

[mrmitchell]

Could be...
---
"Excuse me Joan, is that a French hobo near Madrid?"

It'd only be funny if later the bastards didn't declare war on me and sign out alliances with everything...

[Chemical Ollie]

Problems to handle paperwork already in ancient time, have we?