Announcement

**Vev** · November 28, 2003, 08:23

stutter is good ... emphasis of points

**Jamski** · November 28, 2003, 11:15

Indeed

-Jam

**Vander** · November 30, 2003, 22:03

I'm Back! Ha! Alive and well, too.

**Vev** · November 30, 2003, 22:06

Come to the merry land where Christmas is everyday until the Chairman says stop. Sit on the slide of destiny as the party shall propell you forward in destiny to your fate in history. Feel the ages of worry sit on your shoulders as all the party bureacrats pore over your work!

**Snowflake** · December 1, 2003, 11:21

The second half of the court transcript will be released soon. Maybe somebody (CoughVevCough) could write couple case related pieces such as how people were cheering for the justice and an interview with Jamski in that cold wet cell about how his haiku insanity returns.

**Snowflake** · December 1, 2003, 14:14

Transcript Case No 2145-0001 (part II)

Judge Octavian X: I've only one question for the defendant: Do you now swear your everlasting loyalty to this government of the Human Hive?

Witness Jamski: I swear everlasting loyalty to the Human Hive.

State Prosecutor: If it so pleases the Court the Prosecution would like to submit the following communiqué from Ex-Deputy Chairman Jamski to the administration of the Human Hive:

* State Prosecutor hands each judge and the defendant attorney a copy of paper.

I am assuming power and control over the Human Hive. The Chairman is deposed. I shall shortly announce my new deputy chairman. Vander is confirmed as the permanent PRAVDA editor. Ex-Chairman Voltaire is sentenced to prison for his non-action in the face of duty, and his lack of response to the resignation of the planning authorities.

All conduct of Hive business and control of the military is now my responsibility! (until someone takes it from my dead hands)

The Marshal is stripped to the rank of Private until he can excuse his behavior in DESERTING from the glorious Hive Armed Forces in the moment of need.

State Prosecutor: The People would like to know why Citizen Jamski felt it necessary to depose our beloved Chairman since the Constitution gave him the authority to act. The Ex-Deputy Chairman’s words prove that his intent was not the best interests of the People, since he could have very well done so within the powers given to him by the Constitution, but rather the overthrow of the People’s beloved Chairman. This clearly is an act of treason.

Witness Jamski: The Chairman had ceased to act in the best interests of the Hive, AND HE CONTINUES TO DO SO! I stand by my actions as the correct behavior! His abandonment of his post was a serious treasonable offence.

Judge HongHu: I would like to ask a clarification from the witness. Are you pleading not guilty in this case? Are you contending that you will continue your action against the Chairman?

Witness Jamski: I plead not guilty, or this trial wouldn't even be happening. As for continuing the plot... I certainly don't want to play any more turns right now.

Judge Comrade Tassadar: Comments to the Defendant: I suggest you tone down your arrogance. Your actions nearly collapsed the Hiverian government and sent us to war. This is hardly deserving of a medal.

Judge Comrade Tassadar: Questions for the Defendant: Do you recognized that your coup has failed? Please answer YES or NO.

Witness Jamski: Yes, sadly

Judge Comrade Tassadar: Do you recognize that Chairman Voltaire is the legitimate head of the government of the Human Hive? YES or NO.

Witness Jamski: Yes, sadly

Judge Comrade Tassadar: Do you recognize that your attempted coup was illegal? YES or NO.

Witness Jamski: No, because in the absence of the chairman, I decided what was legal or not.

Judge Comrade Tassadar: Do you believe you should be punished? YES or NO.

Witness Jamski: No. As stated before, I should be rewarded for "awaking the Hive" from its slumbers.

Judge Comrade Tassadar: Do you believe that Comrade Kody is counter-revolutionary? YES or NO.

Witness Jamski: If counter-revolutionary means putting private pleasures such as study, work or a social life before the Hive, then yes. Sorry Kody.

Judge Comrade Tassadar: Chairman Voltaire and I have had much contact in the past, including during the time in question. With this information, do you still stand by your claim that "he would not ever return"?

Witness Jamski: With all due lack of respect an absent chairman talking privately to a man who claims to be god is hardly something for a court of law. Perhaps you should withdraw this question.

Judge Comrade Tassadar: As deputy chairman, you take "Chairman" position until he returns. Why did you attempt to overthrow the Chairman and permanently occupy his position?

Witness Jamski: Because he had not only been absent for a while, but had been neglecting the job for a long while before. For the good of the Hive I thought a new chairman would be needed. Also, I doubted anyone would even notice, let alone care.

Judge Comrade Tassadar: Were you or were you not in collaboration with Comrade Citizen Vander in this failed coup?

Witness Jamski: Who is on trial here?

Judge HongHu: Judge Tass's question is a valid question. Witness must answer the question.

Witness Jamski: I'll keep silent.

Judge Comrade Tassadar: All the peoples know Kody is a master at playing turns. Why did you willingly and knowingly nullify Kody's turn when you know he is better than ANYONE, including YOU, at playing them?

Witness Jamski: I acted under instruction from Googliegod. You wouldn't dare to go against his words.

Judge HongHu: Another follow-up question. When you initially announced that your turn was the official one did you receive secret instruction from Googliegod?

Witness Jamski: Googliegod made me do it!!!! He said he'd press end-turn if I didn't!

Judge HongHu: Jamski, will you now agree that you are guilty of counter-revolutionary act, and that you will accept whatever punishment the party and the court award to you?

Witness Jamski: OK

* Judge HongHu hesitated for a long time, before she finally asked her final question gravely:

Judge HongHu: Dear deputy chairman, I have always had the greatest respect of you. From your earlier testimony, I understood that you had performed your action because you believed that it was for the best interest of the Hive. My question to you now is: Do you still maintain that it is to the Hive's interest to "dispose" the Chairman? Or will you choose to support and help the Chairman in his future endeavor of leading the Hive to our final success?

Witness Jamski: My answer depends on the future actions of the chairman. If my "coup" has woken him up to both his power and his responsibilities, then I will continue to serve him to the best of my abilities, either as deputy or in whatever role he assigns me. If he acts to the detriment of the Hive I love, I cannot stand by and see all of our hard work wasted through disinterested politicos.

Judge HongHu: Any other questions from the judges and parties?

Judge HongHu: Hearing none. We will now proceed to closing statement from the prosecution and the defendant.

Counsel Jamski: WAIT! I'd like to call Googliegod as a witness!

Judge HongHu: You may call Googliegod as a witness.

State Prosecutor: OBJECTION! The People do not see what relevant information Googliegod could provide to this case, the People will withdraw their objection if the Defendant could beforehand elaborate for the court what purpose he has in calling Googliegod as a witness.

Judge HongHu: Sustained. Counsel Jamski must elaborate his purpose of calling Gooliegod as a witness.

Judge HongHu: Looks like that Counsel Jamski is not able to present a convincing argument. The court therefore moves to the next step, closing argument. The court will adjourn in 19 metric hours.

Judge HongHu: The court is now adjourned. Judges, please meet me at the chamber.

**Snowflake** · December 1, 2003, 14:38

I also suggest that the report and order should be published through Pravda.

**Micha** · December 2, 2003, 18:04

Please correct this article, improve the style. I am too tired right now

Comrade Anderson, a hovertruck driver from the CFD (Centre of food distribution) Googliegrad, stopped his vehicle and swallowed. The scenery in front of his windscreen equalled the holovids he had seen about the famines on old earth: People in rags covered the streets above the underground structure of this city, which was called "Michanapolis". They were crying after a piece of bread or just something to eat. Hundreds, more likely thousands were already dead; Starved, killed for food or struck by the epidemics.
Nobody knows how this could happen. Almost twenty months had passed since the last food convoys reached this city, and the local farmers weren´t able to cover the needs of the growing population. Some counter-revolutionists claim that the ten-children-policy was responsible for that catastrophe, but luckily they could have been arrested before their sabotage of our glorious Communism reached a concerning level.

Comrade Anderson´s hovertruck has been the first of eighty-six, all of them carrying hundreds of tons of basic food, and all those drivers have been welcomed as heroes by the Michanapolitans. All eighty-six men and women have been awarded the "Hero of the Human Hive" medal (HHH), followed by a huge celebration in the warm bowels of that great city.

However the question of "why" is yet to be answered, the case is being brought to investigation by the Central Committee of Internal Affairs by next week. How many died, noone knows. Almost all of them were workers, attracted by the city´s rapid developement during the past years, which has now ended in a national disaster. Some experts estimate a number of 20,000 people who had to die, which would make up for an unbelievable 40% of the total population.

The citizens of the Human Hive mourn their dead comrades!

**Vander** · December 4, 2003, 17:49

HIVE GOES TO WAR!

DataJack Roze, leader of the rogue faction the "Data Angels", has declared the Human Hive 'An assault on free- thinking peoples of Planet!' Then she declared open war on the Human Hive.
"It's obvious that she is insane." Commented Director of intellegence Comrade HongHu, "We all know that the Hiverian people think for themselves. How could they not when they have the fair and balanced reporting of PRAVDA?" How indeed?
But fear not, comrades. There is no threat to you. For The Data Angels are very much the inferior combatant in this war. They will succumb to our superior troops and speeders. They will run away from our mighty legions! Glory to the Hive!

-------------------------------------------------------
ATTENTION CITIZENS!

Your humble Hive leadership needs you!

The evil & wicked Data 'Angels' have declared war on you! In response to this unwarranted declaration, the Military Department has authorized drafts of Hive citizens! A draft lottory will be held every other sunday (So that it does not interfere with you very good work in the factories!). Roughly 10,000 citizens will be drafted each day, so make sure that you are ready! You will need:
- One Black Hat
- One Black Jacket
- One pair Black Boots
- Two Black Shirts
- Two Pair Black Pants
- Two Pair Black Socks
- One Eating Bowl

So if you are drafted, make sure to attend a Hive- Sanctioned farwell party. For you are of the lucky few given a chance to give your life for the Hive! Then the next morning, proceed to the central dock above every city's main shaft. Glory to the Hive!

**Micha** · December 4, 2003, 18:04

very good article!

**Snowflake** · December 4, 2003, 18:11

Hey why are they not dressed in red?

**Vander** · December 5, 2003, 15:41

It's a fight Club reference.

**Vander** · December 5, 2003, 15:58

Comrades! Here are some glorious pictures that I wish to have your input on!

Input!

**Snowflake** · December 5, 2003, 16:00

Oh I love the second one. Was that Jamski in the picture?

When will we publish this issue?

**Voltaire** · December 5, 2003, 19:39

Hmm, well we could publish the issue soon, or we could wait and release it as Chairman Voltaire's special birthday edition (i.e. December 14th).