PRAVDA

[Kody]

I came back because Honghu had too much of a workload, and there weren't enough people helping her out.

You would have been a indispensable assert to the Hive about 1 week ago, and you might have actually managed to take over as chairman.

[Enigma_Nova]

Take over as chairman - psht I've tried that before.

[Vander]

A few quick headlines:

- Hiverians see pretty lights out in the ocean; later confirmed to be war.

- The Data Angels have been found to be neither angels nor possessing data.

- Thrash Metal found to be the best music for relaxing

[Vev]

Hive denies debris to be alien landing craft

[Octavian X]

Large Explosion in Hive Central Shaft!

Today, at 1837.8766.678f87.040.01101010.42 Hive Central New Unifited Time, a explosion occured in The Hive's Central Shaft. The explosion came from Room 1501 of the People's Government Building, according to reports.

Room 1501 adjoins Room 16789, which is the office of Magistrate and Foreign Relations Commissioner Comrade Octavian X. When reached for comment, he denied responsibility.

However, sources close to the Commissioner indicate that 1501 was the room used for the production of his secret xenodoughnut stash. When reporters from PRAVDA studied the xenodoughnut process, it was found that if mindworms were not kept at the correct temperature for the process, they may spontaneously combust.

In a related story, for no reason nor logical explanation, Comrade Octavian X was found to actually be a large xenollama.

[Vev]

G**** Found!

Hive officials have annouced the capture of the elusive G**** amongst the tunnels during a routine check. Local eye-witness reported at a large contigent of Crimson Guard arrive to collect the G****. "Yeah it was a huge G****, never seen anything like that before." This view has been confirmed by other eye-witnesses. "I say them pull the G**** into the truck. The G**** fought back hard."

Meanwhile rumors of more G**** have been reported although authorities have confirmed them to be hoaxes and advises to ignore them and continue working as normal.

[Vander]

Nice. I like it!

[Nubclear]

A public service announcement from your diety:

I am your god. Worship me now
Pretty please?

[Jamski]

Hehehehe! My few loyal followers have taken over the PRAVDA offices!

-Jam

[Vander]

Yea, it's easy to take the offices these days. I don't have much time on the 'net....

I hope to get better article production going by next week.

[Jamski]

Then you will have to fight my brave, but misguided, supporters! Bwah-ha-ha-ha!

-Jam

[Vander]

HIGH RANKED PRISONER ESCAPES!!

During an unprecidented second trial for the treasonious Comrade Jamski, a lapse in prison security resulted in said antisocialite's escape from his holding cell. Although a manhunt was informally arranged, there has been no formal declaration from the CCC as to what to do. It is blatently obvious to this reporter that the CCC is just taking a break from their very stressful jobs of keeping us safe; so their is no need to worry that the CCC is protecting their former member.
When asked for an opinion, Chairman Voltaire was said to have 'scoffed' at the accusations. "Who is this 'Jamski?' I do not know what you are talking about." Chief Editor Vander had this to reply, "He must be tired. Why would the Chairman forget one of his best Comrades?"

[Octavian X]

Writer mysterious only writes headline, neglects to write article

[Micha]

Originally posted by Octavian X
Writer mysterious only writes headline, neglects to write article

LOL

That´s good! Make sure it is included in the next PRAVDA!

[Vander]

- Many CPU VidScreens stolen, owners told to go "on memory"

- Adam Smith voted "Evilest man ever" by recent Hive pole.

- We're better than you.

- Yin found to be less enlightened than Yang.