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    COMRADES!


    WE GREET EACH DAY WITH THE TRUTH!


    Lenin's Birthday Edition of the Russian Newspaper "Pravda" which means "The Truth"

    Welcome comrades to this, the glorious 13th edition of PRAVDA - the official newsletter of the Human Hive.....

    .....All hail to the glorious Chairman Voltaire and the members of the Peoples' advisory council!

    In This Issue :
    • The Mystery Illness
    • The Hive Defiant Against the Threat of SASS
    • Cartoon by Comrade Schulz (edited by Kody)
    • Confusion and Delight in Hive bases.
    • Hive Government - How does it work?
    • Poetry Corner
    • Tour of the Hive City: Room 103
    • Extract from “Mindworms in the Mist”, by Comrade Kody


    ===================================
    The Mystery Illness

    A new disease called Severe acute sluggish syndrome (SASS) has recently been reported in all bases of the Human Hives. The Symptoms of SASS include headache, muscular stiffness, body aches, loss of appetite, confusion, an overall feeling of discomfort and tiredness, and most prominently, an unwillingness to work. The spread of the disease has resulted sharp decline in public morale as well as the public and private forum post productivity. Unemployment edged up. Threads and chartrooms alike notice the drop in customers. As a result, the Department of Social Engineering cut its growth forecast for Hive economy by almost 90%. Rumours had that the Chairman and the Marshal were also attacked by the disease to an undisclosed degree. To counter the productivity downturn, junior CCC members and other few survivors of the SASS are pitching in to nurse the Hive back to health. Deputy Chairman HongHu has called on the Hive government to provide immediate "disaster relief" to counter the effects of the SASS outbreak.

    In one of the biggest of SASS recovery efforts, the Claire’s Hall of Discipline will be the site of a Rolling Stones concert on July 26. The outdoor concert will also feature Comrade Claire with "Have Love Will Post." Organizers expect as many as 500,000 people to attend, including busloads of people from as far as HongHu KongHu, making it one of the largest concerts ever. Tickets are selling for about $16. Proceeds are to go to benefit Hive's healthcare workers on the front lines of the SASS battle.

    Many hope that the cloud of uncertainty that had affected a normally lively Hive spring and summer has begun to lift. A sprout of revived democracy has emerged as more comrades started to become creative and productive again. But the effects of SASS -- psychological and financial alike -- remain, even if the spread of the disease is slowed. "Significant concern exists as to how strong the come back will be during July, August and September. Advance bookings for the IC story are very weak, leading to its inevitable premature closure," commented Comrade Vev, the Commissioner of Public Morale.

    For many who survived the disease, the pain is not over yet. Dr Wujiang, Consultant Psychiatrist at Static University Hospital, advised: "One of the most useful skills was using humour to cope with the situation." But fear persists for both sufferers and the general public. There's one silver lining, however, doctors agree that most SASS survivors now have a renewed vigour for post production.

    The Hive Statistics said it was impossible to isolate the total impact of SASS on the economy from the effect of summer vocation.

    Other sources reported that SASS was also observed in other human factions that survived in Chiron.

    Submitted by Comrade HongHu
    ===================================
    The Hive Defiant Against the Threat of SASS

    With the disappearance of many of the senior hive ministers the junior members have risen to the challenge of running the Hive. Originally these junior members whiled away their time making the Hive movie, hacking the CyCon ciphers and generally racking up large post counts. When it became apparent that the Hive was suffering from neglect they immediately made it their task keeping the great nation on it's feet. The Hive was running last on the power graph, but with changes in management and greater discussion of state affairs, it is expected that the Hive will soon be on the road to recovery.

    While the number of people active in the hive has been reduced, the amount of activity has significantly increased in compensation. The Hive wishes to acknowledge to following people.

    Deputy Chairwoman HongHu. For maintaining a calm presence, for taking on the heavy responsibility of leadership and managing to reply to every single message that appears in the forums.

    Comrade Kody. For continuing Pravda, running the turns, and continuously posting to two particular threads one called “Hello” that is 190 posts long and another thread those name is classified and has grown to 158 posts in under 2 weeks.

    Comrade Vev. For accepting responsibility for writing the next Pravda edition, starting the Hive movie and writing seriously wacky posts in bulk.

    Comrade Rokossoky. For being the only person left in the hive that has ever played a multiplayer SMAX/SMAC game.

    Comrade Tassadar. For writing holy text that will be unleashed on the enemy of the hive and make them fear god… or at least fear Tassadar.

    Comrade Octavian X. For distracting Chairman Voltiare from the real threat, with badly veiled hints of overthrowing the government.

    Chairman Voltiare. For being under the mistaken belief that he will be able to obtain control back from HongHu when he comes back from vacation.

    And finally Googlie, for publicly acknowledging the severe amounts of spam generated by the Hive in his “View from Above” story, and his “Post Count” posts.

    Submitted by Comrade Kody
    ===================================
    Cartoon by Comrade Schulz (edited by Kody)



    Submitted by Comrade Kody
    ===================================
    Confusion and Delight in Hive bases.

    The scheduled renaming of all the Hive bases to naughty names has admittedly caused some confusion for the residents. However, there there has been much delight by the population as it has bred a new national past time. Suggestive city name usage.

    There has been frequent talk of moving into "Claire's Deep Passages", or visiting "Claire Halls of Discipline" for some social enlightenment.

    Even the ministers are getting into the spirit of things with the following line in the pre-turn troop movement report, "S1 - Scout moves into Claire’s Deep Passages and protects them."

    Risque landmark naming was also a prominent conversation topic. With "Bay of Viagra" a popular tourist site and bus lines allowing tourists to visit "Maiden Cleft" immediately after.

    However, a few people will be relieved to see the original and more reserved names returned to the Hive's cities and landmarks. The breast cancer society has condemed the naming of two adjacent mountains. One mountain called "Before the Breast Cancer" and the smaller out of shape mountain called "After the breast cancer".

    The city "Sailor Warning Childhood End" has also written letters of complaint as their new name has not attracted tourists and has supposably scared the children. Also they question why the red fungual patch near their city was named "That Monthly Mess".

    Submitted by Comrade Kody
    ===================================
    Hive Government - How does it work?

    We all know that the people of The Hive hold all political power, and they they excercise that power through the Central Continuing Committee and it's various organs.

    But how does this system work? For today, we'll take a tutorial on something simple, changing base production.

    Let's say the People's Minister of Industry and Development thinks that his glourious comrades at Base ABC should switch their efforts from a colony pod to a former.

    Several forms would need to be filled: One with the local base prefect, a few with the People's Minister of Information, three with the People's Commissar of Infrastructure, and one with Sen. Hillary Clinton (to this day, no one knows why). The base prefect will promply reject the proposal and shred the several volumnes-long form, calling his priorities more important. The Ministry of Information will, after a five month delay, misinterpret the request and issue a news release informing Sen. Clinton that the Hive has declared war on France. The Commissar of Infrastructre will promptly agree with the request, mainly because he's the underling of the People's Minister of Industry and Development and would be shot if he disagreed (this is mainly a confidence-boosting measure). The form for Sen. Clinton will be lost the moment it is sent to her.

    The Commissioner of Foreign Relations will hear the request, and, just to impress somebody, will tell the People's Minister of Industry and Development that he will help get the production changed. However, the Commissioner will do nothing, but brag to somebody claiming that he did.

    The secretive Central Military Commision will reveal that it still wants a colony pod in Base ABC, and will then have People's Minister of Industry and Development shot for disagreeing with them. The base prefect will be shot because no one on the Central Military Commision likes that prefect, and the People's Minister of Scientific Knowledge will be shot, mainly for the hell of it.

    Upon hearing of the request to change the production of Base ABC from colony pod to former, the General Secretary of the People's Advisory Council will call a vote of the council on the matter. However, because the members of the People's Advisory Council don't know that they are members of the People's Advisory Council, nothing will happen.

    The Commisioners of Public Safety and General Security will call for the change to a former. However, because the Commisioner of Public Safety thought he heard that the Commisioner of General Security wanted a colony pod, and because the Commisioner of General Security thought he heard that the Commisioner of Public Safety wanted a colony pod, they will both order that the other be shot.

    The People's Minister of Social Engineering, who really doesn't care at all, will be mistaken for the Commisioner of Public Safety and be shot.

    Finally, the Chairman of the Central Continuing Committee will order that Base ABC's production be changed to planet buster. Everyone else (at least, those still alive) will fear for their lives, and the production will be changed to the planet buster immeadiately.

    THAT, my friends, is Hive effciency at work.

    Submitted by Comrade Octavian X
    ===================================
    Poetry Corner

    I know I can
    I think they cannot.
    But it matters not
    As they are too late.

    Now they shall know,
    Now they shall hear
    The wind that drifts
    Across the listless sea.

    Hark with me,
    For all shall be undone
    From foundations
    To the heavens.

    Time be done,
    Thy beauty transcend
    Let fate guide thee
    To thy glorious destiny

    Rejoice my friends
    Wonderous time it be.
    In time to come
    For we shall prevail.

    Diaries of a scientist on the Unbegrenztheit Project

    Submitted by Comrade Anonymous
    ===================================
    Tour of the Hive City: Room 103

    In all of my experiences in the city, I have only heard rumours and legends of the elusive room 103. While I gathered I am fortunate never to have been there, the mystery remains nagging in the back of my mind. Why is it so vague and why does hardly another talk about it. I soon quickly learnt not to ask this question directly, people will immediately lower their gaze, apologise and leave immediately. I also found out that trying to grab them to ask for more information does not help either. The incident where I nearly caught the attention of the Crimson guard with this stunt had taught me to be more subtle in dealing with this taboo subject.

    Though there were many false starts and leads, I almost met a visitor of Room 103. I had managed to stumble across his existence and background through various means and by correspondence, set a meeting time for discussion. Unfortunately, he never arrived and I cannot blame him, although I was still left in this tantalising situation. As far as I could gather, Room 103 provides “Enlightenment” to its various visitors. What that means, I could only speculate. Maybe this is one mystery I better off not knowing.*

    From Kostya's: I lived in The Hive and survived to tell the tale

    *Editor's Note: Visitor records of Room 103 does include the Kostya who authored this book. The reason why he denied visiting Room 103 remains unclear. Most likey he had either been reformed by the procedures in Room 103 or he is repressing memories experienced there and is living in denial.

    Submitted by Comrade Anonymous
    ===================================
    Extract from “Mindworms in the Mist”, by Comrade Kody

    I spent many years longing to go to the Fungal Plains, because of what that land offered in its wilderness and the great diversity of free-living aliens. Finally I realised that dreams seldom materalize on their own. To avoid further procrastination I committed myself to a three-year bank debt in order to finance a seven-week safari throughout those parts of the Fungal Plains that most appealed to me. After months spent planning my itinerary, most of which was far off the normal tourist routes, I hired a driver, by mail, from a Hiverian safari company and flew to the land of my dreams in September 2117.

    Two of the main goals of my first Fungal Plain trip were to visit the mountain worms of Mt. Mikeno in the Congo and meet Louis and Mary Leaky at Olduvai Gorge in Voltairograd. Both wishes came true. How vividly I still can recall Dr. Leakey’s sparking interest in hearing I was on my way to visit briefly the mindworms at Kabara in the B235LD sector of the Fungal Plains, where George Schaller had worked a few years previously. Dr. Leakey spoke to me most enthusiastically about Jane Goodall’s excellent field work with the spore launchers at the Gombe Stream Research Centre in Voltairograd, then only in its third year, and he stressed the importance of long-term field studies with the demon boils. I believe it was at this time the seed was planted in my head, even unconsciously, that I would someday return to the Fungal Plains to study the mindworms of the mountains.

    Original Document

    Submitted by Comrade Kody
    ===================================
    In other news :
    • Kody refuses to publish Pravda 13 as he thinks it’s bad luck.
    • Hive announces 8 hour turn play policy. Rain hail shine, the hive will play its turn within eight hours.
    • Hive announces discovery of Doctrine: Advanced Spam Algorithms.
    • Five pure bread Labrador puppies need homes.


    Onwards Comrades - the Future of Humanity lies in Cooperation, Brotherhood and Industry - Continue to Work for the Glory of the Human Hive

    Random Job Person - Comrade Kody
    Last edited by Kody; August 10, 2003, 04:54.

    Comment


    • Vev,

      Here's Pravada completed. All you need to do is make a poll and place it all on the public forums.

      Kody

      Comment


      • Suggested change if this is still not published
        Deputy Chairwomen -> Deputy Chairman

        If somebody still hasn't figured out the gender of Comrade HongHu, then better let him keep being misinformed

        Oh, one more, maybe for Comrade Kody we could change this phrase:
        "continuously posting to two particular threads one called “Hello” that is 190 posts long and another thread those name is classified and has grown to 158 posts in under 2 weeks."

        to

        "continuously posting to various threads including the two non-sticky thread with the highest post count, one called “Hello” that is 190 posts long and another thread named deleted by censering of department of misinformation and has grown to 158 posts in under 2 weeks."
        or something like that.

        The goal of the proposed change is to not highlight that one classified thread in avoiding unnecessary speculations of the content of the thread.
        Last edited by Snowflake; July 22, 2003, 09:55.
        Be good, and if at first you don't succeed, perhaps failure will be back in fashion soon. -- teh Spamski

        Grapefruit Garden

        Comment


        • You can change it.

          Kody

          Comment


          • Shouldn't we list all titles for all comrades? I wonder if news of Comrade Kody become a CCC deputy has been made public?
            Be good, and if at first you don't succeed, perhaps failure will be back in fashion soon. -- teh Spamski

            Grapefruit Garden

            Comment


            • Originally posted by HongHu
              Shouldn't we list all titles for all comrades? I wonder if news of Comrade Kody become a CCC deputy has been made public?
              I believe I posted it on the official PAC term thread.
              You can only curse me to eternal damnation for so long!

              Comment


              • In other news, Chairman Voltaire will soon be possibly maybe looking for a successor to the Chairmanship... all candidates may submit their applications at the Crimson Guard shooting range outside Voltarograd.
                You can only curse me to eternal damnation for so long!

                Comment


                • Reminds me of a real-life thing where you can volunteer to hold a placard with a target sheet for people to practise pistol firing. Saw a photo in a newspaper. Of course, the target holder was squatting down for very good reasons. Not only does it come to you on command, it can also simulate realistic shaking for movement target practice!
                  Promoter of Public Morale
                  Alpha Centauri Democracy Game

                  Comment


                  • Originally posted by Voltaire


                    I believe I posted it on the official PAC term thread.
                    Well I was thinking maybe we should even give the pirates friends and captalistic pigdogs a chance to get to know CCC deputy Comrade Kody.
                    Be good, and if at first you don't succeed, perhaps failure will be back in fashion soon. -- teh Spamski

                    Grapefruit Garden

                    Comment


                    • Cartoon by Comrade Schulz (edited by Kody)



                      Submitted by Comrade Kody

                      Comment


                      • Hive Numbers Swell

                        The Hive experienced a recent upsurge in numbers. Although officials are still counting xenodoughnuts newcomers, their best estimate is an increase of one. Happy Hivers welcomed their new member, Alinestra Covelia, with generous serving of xeno-rice wine and xenodoughnuts. Invitations to the infamous 'Hello' thread are sent to Alinestra in hope of promoting further spam Hive activity.
                        Promoter of Public Morale
                        Alpha Centauri Democracy Game

                        Comment


                        • Good work on Pravda Kody
                          Sea Kings TOT

                          Sors salutis/ et virtutis/ michi nunc contraria,/ est affectus/ et defectus/ semper in angaria./
                          Hac in hora/ sine mora/ corde pulsem tangite;/ quod per sortem/ sternit fortem,/ mecum omnes plangite!

                          Comment


                          • Thanks

                            Kody

                            Comment


                            • Spot the spelling mistake that I took advantage of.
                              Promoter of Public Morale
                              Alpha Centauri Democracy Game

                              Comment


                              • The Nature of Time Travel – Gravitational Slingshot

                                As Academician Prokhor Zakharov mentioned
                                Time travel in the classic sense has no place in rational theory [1]
                                That one cannot hope for a miracle from a future transported to the current age, such as a battalion of String Stasis Gravship or a databank containing all the tech research or winning lottery numbers for the next 100 years or a book containing the perfect phrases to pick up Claire Forlani. However the Hive believes contrary.

                                Popular theories of time-travel have been debunked and lambasted by cynical sceptics. They are either deemed to be impossible, impractical or just plain silly. Take for instance, performing a high speed sling-shot around gravity well such as a star. Currently no faction has access to a space faring vessel and the one they were onboard crashed somewhere onto the surface planet. This makes things very tricky, indeed. Although Hive administration and bureaucracy have at time been accused of being very dense where any unfortunate paperwork that comes within contact is hopelessly trapped never to see daylight again. Initial trials have been put forward to conduct tests by launching applications forms from a shock tunnel, although the results were disappointing.

                                [1] Academician Prokhor Zakharov, "For I Have Tasted The Fruit"
                                Promoter of Public Morale
                                Alpha Centauri Democracy Game

                                Comment

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