PRAVDA

[Snowflake]

This Cartoon is G-o-o-d!

[Voltaire]

Originally posted by Kody
Cartoon by Comrade Schulz (edited by Kody)



Submitted by Comrade Kody

My sides hurt.

[Micha]

Originally posted by Kody
Classified Ads
_______________________________________________
Large burly men needed for recycling tank job. Must have
experience in knocking people unconscious. Call Craig
356435620 for details.
_______________________________________________
Volunteers required to help teach kids nerve stapling. Free
lunch at every session. The Hive Sector B53, subsection 63,
room 35.
_______________________________________________
Government Jobs, sit at desk doing nothing. Your family
receives 300 ECs in the event you are killed for political
reasons. Contact Chairman Voltiare.
_______________________________________________
One slightly rusted rover. Good condition, but needs
repairs. Contact The Minister of Transport.
_______________________________________________
Opening night to the Comrade Claire Beauty Pagent. Entry
fee 10 ECs. Freecall 343052356.
_______________________________________________
2nd hand planet buster with fusion reactor. Needs Missle
chassis. Meet behind Crazy Zack's bar 9:00pm 26th April.
Come Alone.
_______________________________________________
29 year old worker female looking for soulmate. I like long
walks through the hive tunnels and plastic flowers.
ph 230823709.
_______________________________________________
Hawk to Eagle Nest. The mission was successful. Hawk is in
flight.
_______________________________________________

Wow this is great!!!!

I´m only realizing it today, haven´t checked this thread for a while...

But I swear I have read every single PRAVDA that has been released!

FOR THE CHAIRMAN! FOR THE HIVE!

[Kody]

Glad everyone is enjoying themselves

Kody

[Snowflake]

Originally posted by Micha


Wow this is great!!!!

I´m only realizing it today, haven´t checked this thread for a while...

But I swear I have read every single PRAVDA that has been released!

FOR THE CHAIRMAN! FOR THE HIVE!

I especially love the last one. Oh and the gov job one too.

When are we gonna see your creative side too, Comrade Micha?

[Vev]

I see many colourful smilies from Micha, Perhaps we can harness their powers and put them into good use for Pravda.

*ponders on the title: Smilie Taskmaster*

[Vev]

Coming Soon!

The long awaited blockbuster movie starring Captain Garland, Pravin Lal, Nwabudike Morgan, Corazon Santiago and Deidre Skye that is based on classic real-life love story "UN Titanic" opens this summer. Critics have sent rave reviews and everyone in the Hive agrees.

Pravda: "This movie will sweep up the Centauri Academy Awards"
Perestroika: "Take that Leonardo DeCaprio"
Mary Sue, 9: "I like the violence and how Lal died like a [CENSORED]"
John Citizen: "I would like to thank god, my parents and everyone for this wonderful trophy."
Freddy: "Thanks for the cash, I'm off"

[Micha]

Originally posted by HongHu
When are we gonna see your creative side too, Comrade Micha?

Hehe...

I am currently having real-life exams spying the looniversity in order to steal some new technology they might not want us to get...

Then I will have some fun in France enjoying country and girls have to disappear for a while to let things calm down...

But as soon as these tasks are done, I swear to start my work for the Party and the People of the glorious Human Hive again

[Snowflake]

You have the party on your back for your spying task and remember the people want to be with you even when you disappear, Comrade Micha.

[Vev]

Smilies United!

Shaped from nothing, our great creator created ACDG2! Awaited by mortals there was much when it arrived and many agreed and some with too much .

[Jamski]

So, I'm back - let's have some order restored around here.

/me fetches the good old nerve stapler out of a packing carton...

-Jam

[Octavian X]

Office of Spam formed
New office promised spam, custom avatars

In a suprise move, higher among equals at The Hive have announced the creation of a new office, the Office of Spam.

The office was created as a response to the sagging amounts of spam created by Hivians.

The goals of the new office are many. Their main goal is to combat SASS by creating opertunities for Hivians to post as much spam as possibile. The new office is organizing a corp of volunteers to help meet daily spam quotas, which are expected to increase with the new office. Lastly, they promise custom avatars for all Hivians.

This would normally be the part of the story where we mention dissenting opinions. However, because forms to the Ministry of Information and Sen. Hillary Clinton were not processed in time, or were mistrepreted, or lost.

In a related story, contrary to popular belief, The Hive has not declared a vendetta against France.

[Kody]

Get talented Hive writers to work for you today!

The Hive desperately short on energy is now contracting out it's talented writers for only 1 EC per article. Get any article written for your failing newspaper for only 1 EC today! Buy five articles and you get one article absolutely free!

With your 1 EC you get one writer, a nervestapler and a reprogramming headset. You then decide the political view that the writer will have and just reprogram the writer to reflect the article you want. After you are done return the writer to the hive and he will be reprogrammed back to a normal hive citizen.

Hurry! Only limited a number of writers available.

Kody

[Jamski]

Give me half a dozen right NOW!

-Jam

[Kody]

Yeah but you can't give the hive energy that it doesn't already own.
I'm thinking of ways to get energy credits out of the other factions.

Kody