PRAVDA

[Octavian X]

Editor, PRAVDA

The vicious, evil, capitalistic rumors are false. Well, all evil capitalistic rumors are false, but those surruonding my glourious name are particularly evil and capitalistic.

I, Octavian X, General Secretary of the People's Advisory Council, President of the Presidium of Prefectures, Director of Joint Communications for the Central Military Commission, glourious Comrade of the Hive, future Glourious Supreme Emperor of Planet, et. al., am NOT using glourious xenodoughnuts to control the minds of those foolish enough who eat them, and turning them into mindless slaves in my rumored plan to dominate and conquer all Planet and the Universe.

The fact that mindoworm husks are the main ingredient in xenodoughnuts does NOT contribute to any evil, capitalistic, powers of mind control. They do NOT create mindless slaves who will single-mindedly follow my every order in my quest to conquer the universe.

Also, don't forget to eat all 30 xenodoughnuts rationed to you everyday. The General Secretary of the People's Advisory Council, President of the Presidium of Prefectures, ANDDirector of Joint Communications for the Central Military Commission all endorse xenodoughnuts as a food that will help you work harders and help you fight off evil capitalists.

~Comrade Octavian X
General Secretary of the People's Advisory Council, President of the Presidium of Prefectures, Director of Joint Communications for the Central Military Commission, Comrade of the Human Hive, et. al.

[Kody]

Heh,

Actually the mindworm references were from the Hive IC story. The escaped mindworms from the operation are now multiplying (my last IC story post). There's going to be a mindworm outbreak.

Kody

[Octavian X]

Nah, this stems from my earlier creation of xenodoughnuts.

[Snowflake]

I officially announce that the mindworms have nothing to do with Dr. wujiang's experiment, nor do them have anything to do with Comrade Xenodoughnuts. Comrade HongHu neither.

[Kody]

Shhh nobody is meant to know about the experiment .

Kody

[Vev]

But they sure are tasty.
*must eat more ...*

[Kody]

Googlie is our friend!

Recently, googlie took pity on the struggling hive decided to side with the strongest faction. After the Hive leaders showed an amazing amount of incompetance unorthodox thinking in base placement. His use of logical thinking comments have provided the Hive with much needed help confirmation in the administration of the nation.

[Googlie]

LOL

GGLIE

[Kody]

In other news:

Chairman Voltaire announces he is not dead contrary to popular opinion. Skeptics consider the possibility that the announcement was made by a body double.

[Kody]

A list of possible feature articles for pravda.
Anyone want to write these up?

-------------------------------
$TITLE0 $PLAYER1's Big Book of Recycling Tanks Humor
We Must Consent: 100 Surefire Pick-up Lines of $TITLE0 $PLAYER1
For I Have Tasted The Fungus (Why $TITLE0 $PLAYER1 Can't Blink)
The Cat In The Vat: $TITLE0 $PLAYER1's Sleepchamber Stories
Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Organic Superlubricant (But Were Afraid To Ask)
I'm OK, You're A Drone
Boreholes I Have Known
The Little Terraformer That Could
Are You There, Planet? It's Me, $TITLE0 $PLAYER1
Recon Rovers: Unsafe At Any Speed
How To Raise A Nerve-Stapled Child
Men Are From Chiron, Women Are From Nessus
All I Ever Wanted To Know I Learned in the Cloning Vats
Mindworms in the Mist
Our Biomachinery, Our Selves
Actualizing Your Sentient Being: $TITLE0 $PLAYER1's Self-help Guide for Talents
The Unbearable Lightness of Hovertanks
Sentient Econometrics Made Simple
Lady Deirdre's Lover
Zen and the Art of Missile Rover Maintenance
Transcendence for Dummies
The 27 Habits of Highly Effective Talents
$TITLE0 $PLAYER1's Critique of the Critique of Pure Reason
The Will To Power: A User's Guide
Stairway to Transcendence: The Last Book You'll Ever Read

[Snowflake]

Originally posted by Kody
Shhh nobody is meant to know about the experiment .

Kody

I officially announce that there is no experiment on anything whatsoever.

[Vev]

Rumors of experiments are lies by jealous factions wishing to undermine our productive and efficient government.

[Vev]

Editor: Jenkins! When is the next Pravda ready?

Jenkins: There is a slight delay

E: What do mean delays? *stares*

J: Our writers have stopped working

E: WHAT?! I've paid them good credits and xenodoughnuts and all I've good are some lazy and useless fleshbags who refuses to work. Why aren't you getting them back to work Jenkins!

J: *sweating* *pauses* Sir ... because they are striking ...?

E: SONS OF MIRIAM! I knew there was something fishy about those shifty, stinking, no-good scum, the moment I've laid eyes on them. Jenkins, this is the Hive and we do not stand for slackness of any kind, especially organised ones. Call in the strikebreakers, I want a new batch of young, well-broken, euthusiatic journalists, NOW!

J: Yes sir.

[Vev]

Hive Advertisement

For a limited time only, Claire Forlani is performing live for a good will tour all over. It is time to spend all those hard earned credit points and see Claire's new mesmerising performance. Hurry, get your tickets in before they all sell out.

[Kody]

Faster than a stationary bullet, stronger than the CyCon bunnies, it's the new improved MutantBunnies. After the hive made the discovery of bunnies around their home base they took them and modified their DNA making them stronger more vicious and large enough to be made an all terrain transport.

This has generally improved bouncing time between bases and hence improved colony growth. The main problem is the inexplicable number of saddle sores. Scientists are currently working on making the bunnies glide rather than hop.